


A New Life Series: A Rocky Start

by lanibb2013



Series: A New Life [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Disorder, Bottom Gabriel, Cas & Gabe also are Novaks, Castiel and Gabriel (Supernatural) are Siblings, Chronic Depression, Chubby Gabriel (Supernatural), Cruel College students, Erectile Dysfunction, Everyone Is Gay, Feeding Kink, Gabriel has a Corgi, Heckling, Homophobic John Winchester, Human Castiel, Human Gabriel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Gabriel (Supernatural), Janitor Gabriel (Supernatural), Kid Fic, Law Student Sam Winchester, Lucifer is Gabe and Cas' big brother, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Older Gabriel (Supernatural), Older Man/Younger Man, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Possessive Gabriel, Sibling Incest, Throwing stuff, Top Sam Winchester, Underage Rape, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, heart condition, mild autism, throwing veggies, veggies, younger Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 12:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 53,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanibb2013/pseuds/lanibb2013
Summary: AU Human College SabrielBackground Human DestielChubby/overweight GabrielSam with slight feeding fetishGabriel with Mental conditionsSam has a daughterGabriel is the maintenance man at the College that Sam is going to studing to be a Lawyer. They meet and sparks fly but it tskes convincing on Sam's part to get Gabriel to date him. Gabriel is very insequre, chubby, has many issues and has had a horrible run for most of his life and feels he doesn't deserve Sam. Sam also has a 4 year old daughter and a homophobic father. Will they work out? Or will it all fall a part?





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to start off by apologizing ahead of time for any inaccuracies in Autism or any other conditions I have portrayed in this story. I do research and then use that knowledge and my creative writing skills to do the rest.
> 
> Next I'd like to say I love Chubby Gabriel and think there should be more of it. I am also writing more lol
> 
> I decided to make this the first part of a series seeing that I wrote to much for this one but did have enough to finish a whole life story yet.
> 
> I wrote this for the Sabriel Big Bang 2018 and it's my first BB that I've done so I hope you like it.
> 
> Artwork done by: Megan AKA megibabe1  
> Tumblr Art Post: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/megibabe1  
> AO3 Post: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15824811
> 
> Thank you so much Megan!

Gabriel Novak was a short 40 year old, pudgy, little man who had spent his whole life struggling with his weight. He was 5’8” and compact. Even now he had love handles and a slight soft belly that hung over his belt about an inch and a slight double chin. He usually tried to keep his pants over his belly so it wasn’t as noticeable but while he worked they slid down under the pudge. He was currently the skinniest he’s ever been. With the lose clothes he wore he looked thinner than he was and his face was slightly heart shaped so it looked thinner. He was addicted to sugar like a druggie was addicted to heroin. He was always munching on a candy bar or sucking on a lollypop. He had just gotten tired of being unhappy all his life by dieting and trying to lose weight so he gave up and tried to be content with the way he is now. As long as he doesn’t have a relationship to make him think about it he’s all right. He was an alcoholic that falls off the wagon every time he finds someone he is truly interested in having a relationship with. He suffers from Chronic Depression, Mild Autism, Anxiety, has Suicidal tendencies and takes medication for life to be tolerable. He also has a slight heart arrhythmia. He really hates himself on so many levels that even being interested in someone can cause him to lash out. It also causes him to drink too much. He had only had one relationship his whole life with a tall thin colored woman named Kali. She left him for a muscle bound freak telling him he was to short and fat for her. She was also sick of his drinking. He had been hurt but he couldn’t bring himself to truly care because he figured out he wasn’t really attracted to women at all. She was pretty enough but he was more attracted to her new boyfriend than her so he let her go. After losing her he left town and moved to a town in Kansas where he got a job as the head of maintenance at a nearby college.

Sam Winchester was a very tall muscular 25 year old man. He was 6’4” and very broadly built. He was currently going to college to be a lawyer. He kept to himself and spent most of his time researching in the library at the college. He was quiet and didn’t cause any trouble. He lived on campus with a roommate named Castiel. His brother Dean usually tried to drag him out on the weekends to get him to meet new people when he went home to visit. He also had a 3 year old daughter named Mary Ann that his parents were watching for him while he was in school. His only relationship had been with a lovely woman named Jess who gave him Mary but she died in a car accident when Mary was only a year old.

Gabriel spent a lot of time in the college library when he wasn’t busy just looking at the books or just trying to get out of his little office for a while. He spent a lot of time there the last couple of hours he was there because there wasn’t anything to do unless he got a page to fix something. One night he was just exhausted and noticed a tall muscular brunet sitting at one of the tables surrounded by books writing a paper. He thought he was cute as hell but knew there was no way he’d catch that one. He was too old and fat to get that fella’s attention. While he was capable of being outgoing and flirtatious on the outside… He really used that to hide that he was really miserable and suffered from depression, Insomnia and major insecurities when it came to dating and partners. He was afraid of rejection so he won’t pursue anyone. He just sighed and went back to his office to lock up and go home. 

Sam had been writing a paper when he looked up to see a short stout man looking at him with longing written on his face but the look was gone immediately and he wondered if he was tired and imagining it. He had come to terms years ago that he was bisexual and did find that little man cute. After that he started to see the cute blonde all over campus. The plumbing in his housing broke and he was surprised when the little guy showed up at his door to fix it. He mentally smacked himself realizing the blonde was wearing that uniform because he was maintenance. 

Gabriel was getting ready to go home when he got a call telling him one of the housing units had a problem with their plumbing. It was literally flooding so he ran over there to fix it. He found out it was his little brother’s place and sighed as he got his tools. Imagine his surprise when he came face to chest with tall, broad and handsome. He stammered, “Oh hello, Sasquatch. You have a flood?”

Sam shook his head and replied, “Um yeah. This way.” He led the smaller man to their bathroom where he watched him lay on the floor under the sink and fix the pipes. He occasionally heard sputtering and obscenities as the small man got hit with water as he worked. He suddenly noticed that the blonde was a bit chubby because as he worked his belt slid down below a slightly rounded belly. He had always had a thing for heavier set men and this one he was all ready attracted to since he first saw him. 

Castiel came in the unit he shared with Sam and had wondered why his brother’s car was parked outside until he found Sam in the bathroom with a wet floor and his brother under the sink. He said, “Hello, Gabriel. Sam.”

Gabriel sputtered, “Hey, Cassie. Sasquatch here broke the plumbing.”

Castiel replied, “You don’t need an excuse to visit me you know.”

Gabriel sighed, “I know. I’ve been busy. Sorry.”

Sam stuttered, “You know each other, Cas?”

Gabriel snorted, “Oh gee. You never even mentioned me did you?”

Castiel sighed, “Yes. Sam…. That’s Gabriel..”

Sam was confused and replied, “ I don’t….wait. Gabriel… Your brother Gabriel?”

Castiel replied, “Yes. That is my brother.”

Sam asked, “So wait… The maintenance man is your brother? The trickster? The one people used to call Loki because of all his pranks?”

Castiel replied, “Yes, Sam.”

Gabriel laughed, “Ah so you have mentioned me. How much does he hate me, bro?”

Sam replied, “Actually from how Cas described you…You remind me a lot of my own brother. Although you seem softer than him but similar. He might like you actually.”

Gabriel had a wrench grasped between his teeth and mumbled, “Good to know you don’t hate me then. Shit..What the Fuck?! OW!” He got hit hard on the head when the pipe wouldn’t go back on and he moved to try a different angle. He finally managed to turn the water off and realized he needed to get a replacement pipe and sighed, “I have to go buy a new pipe, Sasquatch. I would suggest you don’t use the bathroom sink until I can finish fixing it.” He rubbed the goozle forming on the back of his head and then rubbed his neck in aggravation. 

Sam asked, “Are you all right?”

Gabriel scoffed, “Yeah. I’ll live. I’m just an old klutz. May have a bit of a headache later though. I’ll drop by tomorrow afternoon and fix this. I’ll get the part tonight before I go home.”

Sam replied, “Ok. Oh geez you’re soaked. Do you need me to dry your clothes or something?”

Gabriel stammered, “Umm. I appreciate the offer but I’ll be fine. I have my street clothes in my locker. I’ll just change before I go home. Thank you though.”

Sam replied, “OK. If you’re sure. I’m Sam by the way.”

Gabriel laughed, “I had a feeling you might be when Cassie here called you that a few times.”

Sam asked, “Does everyone call you Gabriel?”

Gabriel chuckled, “Nope. Just Cassie. My ex used to call me Loki. Others usually call me Gabe. Although others call me asshole or dickwad but I’d rather you didn’t call me those….”

Sam replied, “I think I’ll go with Gabe then.” 

Gabriel replied, “Ok Sam-a-lama.” He finally stood up and was still surprised that he only made it to Sam’s chest. He bent his head back and looked up at Sam and smiled. The younger man reminded him of a tree… Why did it have to this one he was attracted to… He’d love to climb this tree..

Sam was surprised how short Gabriel was compared to him. He titled his head and saw the smile on the smaller man’s face. Its funny so many people would ignore someone so much smaller than them but he actually thought it made Gabe even more attractive to him. Oh hell he thought the man was just adorable.

Gabriel could tell he had it bad for this tall moose of a man. He wondered how big his cock was and thought ‘Whoa stop right there because there is NO way that beautiful rose is going to be interested in an old wilted daisy.’ He stammered, “I’ll…um see you tomorrow afternoon then. Have a good night.” He packed up his tools, got in his car and went back to change before picking up what he needed to Fix Sam’s bathroom sink. He went back to his small apartment, walked and fed his dog, ate dinner, took his meds, and fell asleep wishing that moose was his lover.

Castiel watched the interaction between his brother and Sam. He could tell both were interested in each other but he had to be sure it wasn’t just a passing fancy because he didn’t want Gabriel to get hurt again. He’d wait until Sam said something but he would watch just in case he needed to say something sooner. He knew his brother would never initiate a relationship because of the fear of rejection. He went to bed that night hopeful that maybe he had found someone that could make his brother finally happy.

Sam couldn’t stop thinking about the short man for the rest of the night. He just couldn’t help thinking Gabriel was adorable and that he wanted to date him. He just wasn’t sure how to go about it. He could tell Gabe was older than him but he wasn’t sure by how much except that he was older than Cas who was about his own age. He was 4 years younger than Dean and he wondered if their ages were similar to that. Somehow he doubted it. Gabe looked more than 4 years older than Cas. If the fit together he wouldn’t care about age anyway but he was curious because Gabe may not give him the time of day if they were too far apart in age or maybe he just didn’t like younger guys….oh hell or maybe he didn’t like guys at all. It took him a while with all the questions going through his head to finally drift off to sleep that night.


	2. Bad Coping Mechanisms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is nervous and afraid of dating so he pushes Sam away and falls into a depression as he lashes out at Sam.

Whenever Gabriel would see Sam he’d say hi or wave at the younger man. He kept his distance though because Sam was a student and he was just basically a janitor. Sam was so much better than him…Hell even his younger brother was better than him. A few days later Gabriel was eating lunch in the cafeteria alone like he always did and was surprised when someone sat by him and even more so to find out it was Sam. He was used to looking over the past couple of days and seeing him surrounded by all of his friends laughing and talking. He stammered, “Samsquatch? It’s nice to see you but…. Wouldn’t you rather sit with your friends?”

Sam asked, “I’m sorry. If you want me to go I will but I just thought you looked sad and lonely. Besides I needed a break from my friends anyway. They talk my ear off constantly.” Since the first day he had seen Gabe in the library he had noticed the older man sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria for lunch. Once they actually met it took him a couple of days to decide to sit with the shorter man rather than his friends. He was sure they’d talk and gossip about it but he didn’t really care. He hoped in time maybe his friends would accept Gabe into the circle.

Gabriel looked at the shocked expressions on all of Sam’s friends’ faces and knew he would be hearing all kinds of gossip over this one. He didn’t really care what they said about him but he felt bad for Sam because he just wasn’t worth the taller man’s reputation getting messed up. He said, “Look. I can tell your friends are not too happy with your choice of…..lunch partner…. So maybe you should just go sit with them. I’m fine. All that’s going to come out of this is a ton of gossip ad rumors. You don’t deserve that kind of horseshit…..Besides I need to get back to work anyway..”

Sam place a hand on top of the older man’s arm to stop him from standing and sighed, “No. You don’t have to get back to work yet. Look I don’t care what anyone says. I like you and want to get to know you better and this seemed like the easiest way.”

Gabriel wanted to cry but something inside just snapped and he scoffed, “Trust me kiddo I’m not worth it. Just go back to your friends.” He got up and walked away no matter how much it hurt him to do so and Sam calling his name didn’t help matters. He got rid of his tray and left the cafeteria to go back to his office. He did the kid a favor by walking away. Sam didn’t need to lose his friends over a piece of shit like him. It wouldn’t be fair to the younger man. He saw Sam a couple other times during the day but avoided him the best he could or was rude to try and get the younger man to run away.

Sam didn’t understand why Gabe was acting this way. He was friendly enough a few days ago but now he was acting like a…dickwad. As the older man walked away he yelled, “Gabe! What did you mean by that? Come back here! Dammit Gabriel!” He had yelled so loud half the cafeteria was staring at him in either shock or disgust. He was surprised to feel a hand on his shoulder and looked to his right to see Cas.

Castiel had watched the scene play out and knew exactly why Gabriel was acting this way. The last thing his brother wanted was for Sam’s friends to turn against him and start causing trouble over him. He watched Gabriel practically sprint out and Sam yell for the older man to stop. He placed a hand on his roommate’s shoulder and squeezed.

Sam asked, “What did I do, Cas?”

Castiel sighed, “Nothing, Sam. What happened wasn’t your fault. You don’t understand my brother. He’s doing it because he LIKES you. I will explain later when we are alone and have time. All I can tell you is it’s a long story.”

Sam replied, “But if he likes me then why is he doing it?”

Castiel sighed, “In short? He’s lashing out to try and drive you away.”

Sam said, “That makes no sense..”

Castiel sighed, “It does to him and right now that’s all that matters.”

Sam saw Gabe a few other times that day on campus but every time he tried to talk to him the older man would ignore him or run away. His friends had tried to question him but he blew them off. He got drug out to a bar that night and was surprised to find Gabriel in a corner drinking Vodka and smoking a cigarette. He sat down and asked, “Talk to me, Gabe.”

Gabriel swallowed his drink whole and took a drag on the cigarette before snapping, “Can’t you take a clue, kiddo? Go the fuck away!”

Sam snapped, “How many of those have you had?”

Gabriel snapped, “Who are you? My mom? None of your business.”

Sam snapped, “I’m still your friend and I’m taking you home whether you like it or not. You are drunk.” He asked the bartender if he knew where Gabe lived and was told it was two blocks away and Gabe was a regular. Came in almost every night and got drunk before walking home especially the last few weeks. He soon figured out Gabe couldn’t walk to well in his condition so he carried him bridal style to the apartment building. He finally managed to tell which one it was because he saw Gabe’s car parked out front and badgered the shorter man until he got the number and keys. He got him in the apartment and decided to start cleaning the mess up as Gabriel had passed out as soon as he hit the sofa. He called Cas not knowing what else to do.

Castiel was on his way back to the housing from class when his cell phone rang. He picked it up and saw Gabe’s number in surprise. He said, “Gabriel? Are you all right?” Imagine his surprise when Sam replied.

Sam sighed, “It’s me, Cas. I’m at Gabe’s apartment.”

Castiel replied, “Yes. I knew that by the number. What are you doing there?”

Sam sighed, “I went out with some friends and there he was in a corner booth drunk on Vodka. I drug him out of there and back home but now he’s passed out on the sofa. The bartender said he’s been doing this for weeks.. My god.. He’s been doing it since he met me, Cas.”

Castiel sighed, “Yes. He has. I have had to drag him home in the middle of the night a few times. It’s a coping mechanism. A terrible one but one just the same. If you are interested in my brother I think it’s time we had that talk, Sam.”

Sam asked, “What do I do about him?”

Castiel sighed, “He should be all right. He does at least know his limits. He’s never gotten so drunk he’d kill himself. I’ll see you back home.”

Sam sighed before leaving a glass of water, bottle of ibuprofen and the keys on the coffee table before leaving and locking the door. He drove home and found Cas sitting in the living room on the sofa. He said, “All right. What the hell is his problem? One minute he’s flirting, nice and the next he’s snapping and snarling.”

Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face and replied, “Gabriel is a very complex person. I have no right to tell you certain things. He has to tell you those but there are things I have to tell you if you are going to understand him enough to get to know him whether as friend or lover. I need to know what your interest is though..”

Sam replied, “If that is you less than subtle way of asking if I want to date him then yes. I want to date your brother.”

Castiel replied, “Very well but if you hurt him I will tear you limb from limb do you understand me?”

Sam replied, “Understood.”

Castiel replied, “Gabriel…hates himself. He thinks he is worthless and doesn’t deserve to be loved. He’s always struggled with his weight and usually is heavier than he is now. You have to understand that in the future he may very well be heavier than he is now. He got this thin by starving himself. He’s an alcoholic but can be sober until he gets interested in someone and he lashes out to try and drive them away and starts drinking again because he really wants to have a relationship with that person but is too terrified. He avoids relationships like a plague because he is afraid of suddenly being rejected by his partner. The only one he had was with a vain woman that broke up with him because he was too fat for her. The problem is that the more he likes the person the meaner he is to them to push them away. I hate to say this but my brother has it bad for you. I’ve never seen him like this before. He hates himself even more when he tries to push you away. He cries over you. He’s never cried over anyone before not even…her.”

Sam asked, “So he’s afraid of commitment?”

Castiel sighed, “I guess in a way. He’s afraid by getting involved with someone they will find a reason to dump him because he’s imperfect. I understand not everyone is like that but he doesn’t. IF you want a relationship with him.. It will be very hard to get through to him, Sam. There is something about you that makes it harder to…. Cope with for him. He wants to be near you but is afraid to be so he pushes you away.”

Sam sighed, “I care for him a great deal, Cas. I’d like to give us a chance but how do I start because he won’t stop pushing me away?”

Castiel replied, “You have to keep trying until it sinks in you’re not going anywhere. He is a stubborn mule and thick as a brick. He built a brick wall around his heart and you’ll have to knock it down before you can even get started. I’ll do what I can to help but there is only so much I can do. Just whatever happens don’t interfere.”

Sam replied, “All right. Thank you.”


	3. Confronting the Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has had enough of Gabriels shit sso he confronts the problem head on with Castiel's help.

The next day when Sam was going to class he almost felt sorry for Gabe when he noticed he was in a lot of pain from a hangover. The older man looked white as a sheet and like he was about to throw up. He was nearby when he noticed the smaller man stumble. He reached out and caught him before the older man wound up face first on the concrete. A few seconds later the older man ran to the bushes and threw up while Sam rubbed his back. 

Gabriel looked up at who caught him after puking up whatever was still in his stomach and murmured, “Thanks. Sorry… I had too much to drink last night.”

Sam said, “I know. I took you home. We need to talk, Gabe. Privately.”

Gabriel wiped his face with the tissue Sam offered him and sighed, “Oookay. Forgot about that. Fine. I’ll come over to your place around 6 when I get off work.”

Sam replied, “OK. Thank you.”

Gabriel nodded and walked away. His head was pounding like hell and he really didn’t feel like dealing with his…. Desires but Sammy did deserve answers even if he didn’t want to give them. So he took 4 Motrin and showed up at Sam’s door at 6 as promised. He was surprised when Cassie opened the door and yanked him inside before he could change his mind. He asked, “What the hell?”

Castiel gently pushed his brother into a chair at the kitchen table with a plate of food and said, “Eat, Gabriel. You drink too much and eat too little. Starving yourself isn’t going to make you any thinner. I’m not going to let Sam see you like this. Now eat!”

Gabriel grudgingly did as Cas told him too because every time he fucked up it was always his younger brother that took care of him. He ate everything on his plate, Cassie refilled it and he ate that too, and drank 2 cups of tea before Cassie stopped nagging him. He grumbled, “Are you trying to make me fat again, Cassie?”

Castiel snapped, “If it keeps you from avoiding your problems by becoming an alcoholic then you bet I am. You are better than that, Gabriel. Sam really likes you but because you are afraid to get hurt you keep pushing him away. I honestly think you could be happy with him if you gave him a chance.”

Gabriel snapped, “That’s none of your damn business! Besides why would he want a wilted daisy? He’s a beautiful Rose. He can have ANYONE he wants. He’s that damn good looking. I’m just….average. I’m way out of his league. He’s going to be a lawyer… I’m just a lowly maintenance man. I make $10 an hour. He’ll be making ten times that much at least when he passes the bar. Compared to him… I’m nothing….I’m dirt, Cassie.”

Sam said, “No you’re not, Gabe. You are not a nothing nor are you dirt. First of all you’re my friend. Second I think you are adorable. So what if you are a ‘lowly maintenance man’ I don’t care. I like you. I don’t have to like your job to like you.”

Gabriel sighed, “Can’t you see, Sammy? I’m low class. I’m a blue collar working stiff that can barely pay his bills. You are going to be high class. You’ll be ridiculed for having anything to do with me.”

Castiel sighed, “Maybe you’d have a better time paying your bills if you didn’t get drunk every night because you are in love with Sam but can’t face it without someone forcing you too.”

Gabriel growled, “That was a low blow, Castiel. How dare you.”

Castiel snapped, “How dare I? Well someone has to throw it in your face. You can’t keep running from everyone you are interested in. You’ll just die alone a miserable old man. I don’t want that for you. You are too good a person to die like that. So yes I DARE to try and save you from that fate. Just because Kali left you doesn’t mean everyone will.” He didn’t see the punch to the face coming because Gabriel wasn’t usually a fighter. He just took every punch his brother gave him knowing Gabriel needed to let it out. He saw Sam wanted to help but shook his head to indicate the taller man should just let it go.

Gabriel just snapped and punched Cassie hard in the face. He yelled, “You fucking bastard!” He kept punching Cassie until he finally stopped seeing red and realized no one was stopping him. He realized he had really done a number on his brother. He could see a black eye starting, a split lip, a bloody nose, and that’s just the younger man’s face. He backed against the wall and slid down and wrapped his arms around his knees whimpering, “I’m sorry, Cassie. I’m sorry.” He put his head on his knees and sobbed. He flinched away from the gentle hand that reached out to him. 

Castiel knelt in front of Gabriel and touched his knee. He replied, “It’s all right. I’m not angry. I needed to see how to get you to snap. You need to accept your past and move on. Sam wants a life with you if you’ll give him a chance.”

Gabriel whimpered, “How am I supposed to do that, Cassie? I don’t deserve him. He’s too good for me.”

Sam sighed, “No. I’m really not. I’ve had bad things happen to me as well and I’m willing to move forward with you, Gabe. Do you think I expected to find the maintenance man at my college cute? That I would want to date him? Possible have a long term relationship with him? Nope, but I did and I do want to try and have a long term relationship with you. I had a girlfriend once. I loved her so much but she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. I should be repelled by you because you are an alcoholic but I’m still drawn to you.”

Gabriel whimpered, “Why? Why would you want someone like me?”

Sam sighed, “Because I LIKE you. Before you started lashing out to try and push me away you were a very nice man. You were sweet and kind. I also like your slightly raspy laugh and slightly squeaky voice. I like the way you have that one rebellious lock of hair that always falls out of place on the right side of your head. Not to mention you are kind of cute.” He knelt next to the smaller man and tried to comb the lock behind Gabe’s ear but it fell back down again.

Gabriel snorted, “Right. A short and fat mouse no matter how cute is not dating material.”

Sam replied, “It is to me. I know I’m odd but I like a man that is short and round. I always have. I just like everything about you, Gabe. I want you as my boyfriend.”

Gabriel snorted, “Let me guess. You won’t take no for an answer.”

Sam replied, “Nope.”

Gabriel sighed, “Damn you, Cassie. Why did you have to do this? Fine but I’m going to court you, Sasquatch. I’m not used to being the one chased. Granted you caught me but from here on I’m driving.”

Sam chuckled, “Ok. I’ll let you be the one in charge. But I can ask you to go with me somewhere if I want to and you won’t fight me if it’s important to me. Deal?”

Gabriel groaned, “OOOkaaay. I guess I can live with that. Why did you get involved, Cassie?”

Castiel replied, “Because you deserve to be happy too. I think Sam maybe able to make you happy.”

Gabriel sighed, “Maybe he will. He’s definitely stubborn enough but can he put up with all my bullshit for the rest of my life.”

Sam replied, “I’m sure going to try. I have one rule though. You need to stop drinking to excess over this. I want my boyfriend to be sober. When you are you know where to find me.”

Gabriel sighed, “OK. So now what?” He leaned back against the wall and waited for someone to tell him well…anything. Eventually he got up and sighed, “I need so time to digest all of this. Do you two mind if I go home?”

Sam replied, “OK. But you’re not off the hook.”

Gabriel walked out of the complex to go home. He thought about going to the bar but thought better of it because he didn’t want to make Sam angry so he went home and fell into his bed.


	4. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they seem to be getting somewhere.

Two weeks later Gabriel was finally able to not shake so much from not drinking. He still had the shakes but wasn’t as desperate for a drink. It had been hell trying to go cold turkey but he managed. He almost didn’t get the nerve up to ask Sam out. He ran into Sam on the steps to the library. He stammered, “Sammy? Would you go out to dinner with me on Friday night?”

Sam had seen Gabriel around campus but they hadn’t spoken for 2 weeks. He had started to wonder if the older man had chickened out. Then one day the shorter man stopped him on the library steps and hesitantly asked him out. He replied, “All right. Are you sober?”

Gabriel showed Sam his shaking hands and stammered, “2 weeks now, Samshine. I’m…still shaking but I haven’t had a drink since you railroaded me.”

Sam replied, “What time and where do you want to meet?”

Gabriel stammered, “I’ll pick you up at your place around 6 ok?”

Sam replied, “Ok.”

Gabriel twisted his hands together and said, “Um Sammy? I’m sorry for all the shit I said to you after we met. Cassie was right. I lash out when I am attracted to someone.”

Sam squeezed the older man’s shoulder and replied, “It’s all right. Just don’t do it again.” He watched Gabriel go down the stairs and across campus to his next problem. He went in and did some research for a mock trial he needed to be ready for on Friday.

When Friday rolled around Gabriel was nervous but managed to find a decent outfit. It was a pair of black wide legged pants, burgundy velvet button up shirt, black shoes and an army green jacket. He arrived at Sam’s place about 5:45 and knocked on the door. When Cassie opened the door he said, “Hey, Bro.”

Castiel looked at his brother and replied, “Hello, Gabriel. You look nice.”

Gabriel asked, “I don’t look to fat in this do I?”

Castiel replied, “No. You look very handsome. You are heavy set. The clothes you wear won’t change that. Don’t worry about it. Sam likes you just the way you are.”

Sam came out of his bedroom and looked at Gabriel. He said, “You look nice, Gabe.” He thought the shorter man looked cute in his outfit. He got into Gabe’s bright green Volkswagen bug and wasn’t all that sure what to say so it was a quiet drive.

Gabriel parked in the parking lot of Denny’s and stammered, “I hope this is all right. I don’t have a lot of money but I want to do things the right way.”

Sam grasped Gabe’s shaky hand and replied, “This is fine, Gabe. I just want to spend time with you to get to know you outside of the school.” 

Gabriel blushed and replied, “Ok. Thank you for giving me a chance even though I was being an asshole.” He got out of the car with Sam and they stood in line waiting for a table. He was surprised but not unhappy when Sam wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they stood in line together. He found it funny that Sam was a whole head taller than him. He had no idea why a man as young and tall as Sam would want him.

Sam leaned down and kissed the top of Gabriel’s head and replied, “It’s all right. I told you it’s over with now.” After they were seated he ordered a salad with chicken in while Gabe got a steak with a baked potato. He suddenly had the urge to feed the smaller man himself and blushed at the thought. 

Gabriel wasn’t really sure where to start when Sam asked him about his family. He finally shrugged and said, “I grew up in suburbia with 3 bothers and one sister. Cassie you know and our older brother Lucifer but I call him Luci because he’s like a demon to me. Michael is our oldest brother. They do nothing but put me down all the time. Hannah is our little sister and she’s sweet and kind. Nothing like our brothers. My parents… they are homophobic… Well my mom is anyway. They were ecstatic while I was with Kali but haven’t spoken to me since I told them I was gay. Come to think of it neither has Luci or Michael. Hannah ran away with me and Cassie. My parents have always been ashamed of me. Michael is a Doctor. Luci became a high priced psychiatrist, Cassie is becoming a lawyer, me….I’m just a glorified janitor. I don’t know what became of Hannah.. My brothers are tall and thin while I’m short and fat. I’ve had it beaten in my head my whole life that I’m a fat, useless nothing.”

Sam said, “Cas doesn’t…”

Gabriel replied, “No. Cassie is the only one that ever cared about me. He’s pulled me out of gutters and bars more times than I can count. He provokes me until I beat him up and that snaps me out of my self hatred for a while. I’m….afraid of rejection because other than Cassie everyone I’ve ever loved has rejected me. That’s why he’s the only one that can snap me out of my bullshit.”

Sam was surprised that Gabriel was sharing as much as he was with him. Whatever Cas did really worked to snap the shorter man out of his aggressive behavior. This was the Gabriel he first met. Sweet and kind even if he was being silly it was still a lot closer to the cute man he met.

Gabriel sighed, “Look, Sammy. I should tell you this now. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and was dumped by Kali because I was too fat. I’ve spent my whole life trying to lose weight by starving and Cassie…God love him…He won’t allow me too. He has always taken care of me and forced me to eat. If you want someone thin you might want to tell me now before we get to involved because I’ll never be thin.”

Sam cleared his throat and replied, “You may find this strange but.. I like to exercise and stay thin. While that’s the way I am….I’m finding that I like the idea of having a partner that isn’t as stuck on being thin. Cas told me that you may gain weight and I’m fine with that. Hell I’m even looking forward to it. I like soft rounded curves. I think you are cute either way but I’d prefer a soft content partner to a skinny miserable one. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’d never dump you for getting fat. If anything I’ll be more attracted to you.”

Gabriel laughed, “Wow. Health obsessed Sammy has a fat fetish. I couldn’t get any luckier. Are you going to tell me you are a feeder too? Oh my god you are...” He could tell by the blush on Sammy’s face that he had hit the nail right on the head. He didn’t know what to think of it. He wasn’t turned off by it just thought it was amazing that Sam of all people was attracted to fat people and liked to feed them as well. He put his fork down on his plate and leaned back against his chair.

Sam stammered, “I… If that’s not you thing.. It’s fine. I wasn’t even aware I liked the idea until I was watching you eat that steak. I suddenly wished I could feed it to you…” His blush deepened and he watched Gabe across from him. He thought he had really messed up.

Gabriel finally shrugged and replied, “OK. If that’s your thing… I guess we can give it a try. Granted only when we are alone though. At least to start with so I can see if I like it. It just wouldn’t feel right in public while getting used to the idea. Although even then I’d rather only limit it to maybe around family and friends after that if that’s ok...”

Sam gently placed a hand on top of Gabriel’s and replied, “That’s fair enough. Umm.. Is there anything you um..”

Gabriel chuckled, “You are beat red, Sammy. I can’t deny you look adorable all flustered. As for deviant behavior I’ll let you know if we work out until then you’ll just have to wait. Only thing I can say is I’ve wanted to sleep with a moose for a very long time now.”

Sam stuttered, “A..moose?”

Gabriel laughed, “I’m talking about you, Sammykins. You’re as big as one at any rate.”

Sam laughed, “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t get it. Are you top or bottom?”

Gabriel shrugged, “Don’t care. Usually only bottom for committed relationships though. I let Kali shove a dildo up my ass a few times but she was decided she needed another boyfriend and made me take his huge ass dick while she rode mine... She also wasn’t very gentle either… It wasn’t torture but it wasn’t exactly totally enjoyable either. One night stands I only topped. Not that I’ve had many of those either as I’m not… what most guys chase after. The few I’ve had told me they wanted to know what it was like to be fucked by a fat old man. Not good for my self esteem but it was a willing partner for the night so who was I to argue?”

Sam replied, “OK. I’m interested in the long term with you. I’m usually a top but then I’m not opposed to being a bottom for the right person. We can switch back and forth if you want too. IF that’s all right with you.”

Gabriel shrugged and replied, “Yeah. I don’t mind switching once in a while but I’m sure my dick is nowhere as big as yours. It may turn out to be a disappointment.. What do you do for fun Samsquatch?”

Sam replied, “Well. I doubt that. So far I think you are perfect. As for fun I read, study, run, exercise and annoy Dean.”

Gabriel asked, “Dean?”

Sam chuckled, “My big brother. We pull pranks on each other all the time.”

Gabriel asked, “What about the rest of your family?”

Sam said, “Well there are my mom and dad. They are called Mary and John. Then there is our uncle Bobby. Dean works for him as a mechanic. I also have a younger half brother named Adam.” He wanted to tell Gabriel about his daughter but needed to know a few more things first.

Gabriel replied, “I’m not really all that great with the meet the parents’ thing. I know if this works I’ll have to eventually but it…terrifies me. Hell I never even met Kali’s folks. Granted that was because she never planned to stay with me.”

Sam replied, “Dad is a homophobe but I hope he’ll come around eventually. Dean is bisexual and will pick on you and interrogate you but that’s just the way he is and he should like you once he gets to know you. Mom just wants us to be happy. Bobby is currently involved with an Englishman named Crowley so he’ll have no problem with us being together.”

Gabriel chuckled, “An Englishman? Now that’s interesting since I’m guessing all of you are pretty much Southern hillbillies to some extent.”

Sam said, “Yeah. We were a bit surprised but they fight like an old married couple but you can tell they adore one another.”

Gabriel went back to his steak and baked potato. He had to admit Sam was cute and adorable. He ordered desert and found it to be was very good.

Sam got up the courage to finally ask, “Gabe? What about kids?”

Gabriel replied, “What about them? I don’t have any.”

Sam stammered, “Do you want them? Or be opposed to having them?” 

Gabriel sighed, “I’m not sure, Sammy. I never thought about it. I like kids but as for raising my own? I don’t think I’m father material. I’m more like the unwanted last resort uncle material. Besides we are both men. It’s not like we can make a baby. That and I’m rather old to raise a child now.”

Sam stammered, “No but we could adopt or…something.”

Gabriel sighed, “True. I am aware that you are quite a bit younger than I am. Also being so much younger you probably want a family. I guess if you really wanted kids I’d be ok with it. If it’s something I could lose you over than I’ll do whatever you want because I’d rather have kids than not have you.”

Sam sighed in relief and replied, “OK. That’s good to know.” He was relieved because that meant he would be all right with Mary Ann existing. After they finished their meal and he grudgingly let Gabe pay. He knew the older man really couldn’t afford to do this that often but was determined to court him. 

Gabriel drove Sam back to the housing unit and said, “Thank you, Sammy. It was a lovely evening. Would you like to maybe go out to a movie tomorrow night?”

Sam replied, “I can’t..”

Gabriel thought Sam was blowing him off and replied,”Oh. All right. Well I guess I’ll see ya around, kiddo.”

Sam suddenly realized what was going on in Gabe’s head. He stuttered, “God no. It’s not that. It’s just I go home to see my family every weekend.”

Gabriel gave a surprised, “Oh.” He asked, “OK. Weekends are out. How about next Friday then? I’ll even sweeten the deal and take you to dinner again.”

Sam replied, “That’s fine. You don’t have to take me to dinner as well. Just a movie is fine.”

Gabriel replied, “I want to take you to dinner and a movie. I have to woo you the right way.”

Sam sighed, “All right but promise me you won’t over extend yourself. I don’t want you to not be able to pay your bills over dating me.”

Gabriel snorted, “Oh please. I either spend it on you or booze. I think you are a better choice.”

Sam replied, “The money you are using to date me is what you used for alcohol?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah, kiddo. I figure if I spend all my extra money on you I won’t be able to get drunk. It’s one of those things that saves me from myself, Sammy. It also proves to you I’m serious about you.”

Sam sighed, “All right. Just so you’re not using money for your bills to date me.”

Gabriel replied, “Nope.” He accented the popping of the ‘p’ and waggled his eyebrows. He was surprised when Sam gently kissed his cheek before getting out of the car. He said, “I’ll see you on Monday?”

Sam replied, “Yep. I’ll be around somewhere Monday through Friday. Good night, Gabe. Thank you for dinner and a lovely time.” He went into the building and watched Gabe drive away. He did his homework for the weekend so he could start out early in the morning for home.

Gabriel went home and watched some TV before going to bed the most content he’s been in years. He already missed the tall handsome moose.


	5. Insults and Putdowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do college kids have to be so cruel?

Gabriel had been dating Sam about 3 months and they regularly met on campus to chat or have lunch together. One day on the way to the cafeteria to meet Sam he was heckled. He tried to ignore it but it did hurt.

Student 1 sneered, “Hey guys! Look who it is. It’s that short janitor with the fat gut.”

Student 2 laughed, “How did you trick Sam into going out with you old man? You threaten to sit on him?”

Student 3 sneered, “I have no idea who would want to screw something like you. You’re old and fat.”

Student 4 laughed, “Don’t forget ugly! You’re so ugly I bet your mom had to put a paper bag over your head.”

Student 1 sneered, “Not to mention that squeaky voice! You sound like a damn mouse!”

Student 2 laughed, “What about that stupid laugh of his?”

Student 4 yelled, “Hey old man! Take that!”

Student 5 yelled “Hey fatso! Have some donuts!”

Gabriel flinched as he got pelted with tomatoes and anything else the bastards could throw at him that would make a mess of him but not leave a mark. He just walked away and tried to knock off what he could. That day he skipped lunch because he was embarrassed over getting pelted with various food items. He didn’t want Sam to see him like that, with jelly, powdered sugar, and tomato all over his clothes. He spent 10 minutes in his office crying before he went back to work. His Sammy deserved better than to have a boyfriend that gets food and shit thrown at him. He had thought he had another uniform in his locker but found he didn’t so he’d just have to grin and bear it. 

Sam was a bit hurt that Gabe didn’t meet him for lunch. He was also surprised because since they started dating his boyfriend NEVER missed a meal. He made sure of that because the older man would skip meals trying to lose weight. He went looking for the shorter man when he could between classes but didn’t find him.

Lunch wasn’t the last time Gabriel got shit thrown at him and he thought college students were supposed to be above that crap. He flinched when he got eggs thrown at him this time with more tomatoes. He got hit in the back of the head with the eggs. He was wondering where they were getting this shit in the middle of the day.

Student 1 yelled, “Hey, ugly! Here’s some eggs for you!” He laughed as the janitor was pelted with raw eggs.

Student 2 yelled, “That’s a good aim man! He’ll be trying to wash that out for hours! Until then he’s stuck with his hair nice and slimy just like him!”

Student 3 yelled, “Yeah. Slimy bastard. Has not business dating a college student!”

Student 4 sneered, “Slimy old fat man! You should know your place! In the gutter with the rest of the janitor scum. At least we got an education!”

This shit happened all day every time Gabriel went back to his office from having to fix something somewhere. By the end of the day he was filthy and exhausted. He was covered in eggs, donuts, powdered sugar, jelly and tomatoes. Wouldn’t you know it that right as he was leaving for the day he ran into Sam who he was trying to avoid all day because of how he looked.

Sam ran over to Gabe and asked, “Where were you at lunch? What the hell happened to you? You smell and look awful.” He took in the slime, tomatoes, Jelly, and white powder all over the older man. 

Gabriel snapped, “No shit. You would too if you got shit thrown at you all day long. Eggs, Donuts, Tomatoes and anything else they could come up with that would break and run.”

Sam grasped the older man’s arm and asked, “Who did this?”

Gabriel snorted, “Your friends did. All day long they waited for me to insult me and throw shit at me. Just because I’ve taken you off the dating menu. Juvenile delinquents. Even I’m not that childish.”

Sam said, “I’ll deal with them tomorrow. Right now we need to get you a shower and clean clothes.” He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Gabriel gave up trying to argue with Sam after the first 5 excuses and took him to his office so the younger man could carry his clothes to keep them clean. He then went to his boyfriend’s unit and took a shower. He put on his clean street clothes and carried his dirty uniform out in a towel. He found Sam in the kitchen making dinner and stammered, “Thanks. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Sometimes people just piss me off.”

Sam looked up from cutting vegetables and decided he liked a freshly showered Gabriel. The older man’s hair was sticking to his forehead and his shirt was sticking to the older man’s round belly from the dampness. He stopped chopping and walked over to Gabriel and leaned his head down to firmly place a kiss on his boyfriend’s wet head. When Gabe looked up at him he leaned over to firmly kiss Gabe on the lips and placed one hand on the shorter man’s round belly while the other wrapped around his back while they kissed. When they parted he took the hand he had on Gabe’s belly and caressed the older man’s cheek. He said, “It’s all right. You had every reason to be angry. I hate that my friends treated you like a leper. I’ll deal with them tomorrow and if they don’t wise up they won’t be my friends anymore.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m ruining your life, kiddo. I’m not worth losing your friends over. You deserve so much better than me.”

Sam groaned, “Will you stop putting yourself down like that? You are worth it to me. I have every right to date whomever I please. I don’t care if they don’t like it. If they can’t accept you then they are not truly my friends. I don’t need them.”

Gabriel whispered, “I’m sorry, Sammy. I just don’t deserve you. They are right. I should have stayed in my place.”

Sam asked, “What does that mean?”

Gabriel sighed, “They said I should learn my place and stay in the gutter with the other janitor scum because I never got an education.”

Sam said, “Those assholes. You are not scum, Gabriel. You are a squared away man. I don’t care if you are just a maintenance man. It doesn’t make your worth any less than mine. So what if you didn’t get an education like I am? It doesn’t change how I feel about you in the least.”

Gabriel sighed, “I don’t want all your friends hating you over me. I’m not worth it.”

Sam replied, “I all ready told you. If they can’t accept you then they are the one not worth being my friends.” That night Sam washed Gabe’s uniform and the older man spent the night curled against Sam on the sofa until very late. After that Gabe started sleeping over on the sofa from time to time when Sam knew Gabe didn’t want to be alone.


	6. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel can't escape meeting the parents forever... Also Sam learns a few things about Gabe that are important.

When Dean pulled up in the driveway to his parents’ house Sam was greeted by his mom with Mary Ann on her hip. He took his little girl and said, “Hey, peanut. Have you missed me?”

Mary Ann replied, “Daddy! Miss You.”

Sam chuckled and replied, “I missed you to.” 

Mary asked, “How’s school, Sam?”

Sam replied, “Good. My grades are good. I met someone, mom.”

Mary replied, “That’s wonderful. What’s she like?”

Sam replied, “It’s a he and he’s wonderful. He’s funny, sweet, loving, and just adorable.”

Mary replied, “You definitely sound smitten, Sam. So when will meet this new boyfriend of yours? What’s his name?”

Sam replied, “His name is Gabriel. He’s Cas’ brother. We just started dating so it will be a while before I can get him to come home with me but I’ll let you know. Please don’t tell dad though…Not right now anyway. “

Mary replied, “Just be careful. I don’t want just anyone taking care of my granddaughter. She’s got to like him and he needs to love her like his own.”

Sam sighed, “I… haven’t told him about Mary Ann yet. He’s ok with having kids even told me he likes them. I did ask but I just wasn’t ready to tell him yet.”

Mary replied, “Well. You’ll have to tell him sooner or later but it is early yet.”

About 5 months later Sam got a call from his mom asking when he was going to bring his boyfriend to meet them. He knew it was about time and when they had their usual Friday night date he said, “I’d like you to come home with me this weekend and meet my family.” He knew Gabe had the whole weekend off so his boyfriend couldn’t use that as an excuse.

Gabriel stammered, “I… don’t, kiddo. I don’t think they’ll like you dating me. I’m not exactly anything special. I’m old, fat, short, and average looking. In all honesty you deserve way better than me.”

Sam sighed, “I’ve told you.. I’ve told mom all about you and she can’t wait to meet you. It’s been almost 6 months we’ve been together, Gabe. I’ve been letting you take everything at your own pace. Hell we haven’t even been intimate yet but I’m ok with that. It’s just time to meet my folks.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m sorry.. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Sam snapped, “Look. You want to prove you’re serious about us. That’s what you keep saying. Then you need to swallow your pride and fear and meet my family. They are starting to think something is wrong. Is there, Gabriel?”

Gabriel whispered, “Not with you. It’s me. I’ve never been happier in my life and I’m so terrified it will fall apart. What if your family hates me? What if they make you dump me? I don’t think I could deal with that.”

Sam sighed, “They are not going to make me dump you. I want them to like you and accept you but it doesn’t mean if they don’t I’m going to dump you because of it. I’m not going anywhere, Gabe.”

Gabriel sighed, “All right. I guess I don’t have a choice. I can’t risk you leaving me because I’m too scared of your family’s judgment of me. When do you want to leave?”

Sam replied, “In about an hour? Can you be ready by then? We’ll be there for 2 days.” He wanted to get going as soon as he could before Gabriel tried to chicken out again. 

Gabriel replied, “All right. We can take my car seeing you don’t have one. How do you usually get there anyway?”

Sam blushed and replied, “Um Dean usually will pick me up on Saturday. I’ll call him and let him know he doesn’t have to pick me up tomorrow because my boyfriend’s going to drive me.”

Gabriel asked, “Am I really your boyfriend?”

Sam kissed the older man on the lips and replied, “Yes, Gabriel. You are. You are really more than that to me but it’s the most appropriate term for the moment. Be back here in an hour, ok?”

Gabriel replied, “OK.” He drove back to his apartment and packed a duffel bag with 2 of his nicest outfits. Took a shower and put the third nicest outfit on. It was a pink and white paisley cotton button up with charcoal wide legged jeans. He put on a pair of black loafers and his grey rain jacket. He packed a couple of tee-shirts and shorts to sleep in. He also packed extra boxers and socks. He almost forgot to pack his meds which would have been a disaster. Hell he had to take 2 anxiety pills before he left just to try calm himself down. He was forcing himself to meet Sam’s family but the younger man had no idea what it took for him to do it. He also made sure to buy a bunch of chocolate bars and couple bags of lollypops to try and calm his nerves. He bought a new pack of cigarettes as well. He rarely smoked but when he couldn’t cope with sucking on a lollypop he would have a smoke. 

Sam had gotten his clothes packed up and his homework done by time Gabe got back and parked out front. Cas was back from classes by then and he was about to leave when the dark haired man called to him.

Castiel knew this was a huge step for Gabriel and had debated telling Sam so since his friend told him Gabe was going to meet the family. He finally said, “Sam? Don’t be too hard on Gabriel. You have no idea how hard this is for him. He’s not just nervous… He’s terrified. I know he’s taken pills to try and calm himself down. So he may be acting a bit… like a hippie? For lack of a better example. I just want you to understand what this means. When he’s willing to force himself to do something that terrifies him just to make you happy….. He may not ever say that he is desperately in love with you but I KNOW my brother. He’s desperate to keep you happy even if it caused him pain. You mean more to him than the fear and anxiety that rules his whole life. He wouldn’t agree to it otherwise.”

Sam said, “He’s so outgoing. It’s hard to believe he’d be that scared.”

Castiel replied, “Gabriel acts outgoing and personal to hide that he’s really terrified to leave his apartment. He has always been shy, quiet and easily spooked. He forced himself to create the Gabriel you know to hide who he really is so people would stop ridiculing him including our own family.”

Sam asked, “So the Gabe I know is a lie?”

Castiel replied, “No. Not exactly. You know his outer shell. It’s like a puzzle and you only know one half of the puzzle. You know the part of him he shows to the world. It started out as a fake image but as he got treated for his depression and anxiety, he has integrated it into his true personality. When he’s medicated properly my brother is the silly, fun loving, prank playing, trickster you know. The part he hides… You won’t see very often when he’s taking his meds properly. When he was drinking I know he wasn’t taking them properly. That was the part that he hides slipping through the cracks. When he lets his walls down and you see that side of him then you’ll know he trusts you. Under the outer shell he’s terribly insecure and scared of rejection. I mean when I say this is a giant step for him with you. You know more of my brother than even Kali did. He has admitted things to you about his feelings and fears that he has NEVER told anyone else except me. There is no doubt that he is in love with you. He’s trying to share both sides of himself even if it’s painful for him too. He is aware that in order for a relationship to work you need to be able to trust and share things you are afraid too. Make sure you reassure him that you love him and things will be all right. That will help. Oh and tell Gabriel I’ll take care of Max for him while you are away.”

Sam replied, “OK, Cas. Thanks. I’ll try to keep that in mind. I got to get going before he changes his mind.” He got a wave from Cas as he picked up his duffel bag and went out the door. He put his bag in the back seat next to Gabriel’s and got in the passenger’s seat. He leaned over and met the older man with a kiss to the cheek and the coaxed him to turn his head. He gave him a firm kiss on the lips and said, “It’s going to be all right, Gabe.”

Gabriel stammered, “I.. hope so, kiddo. I’m a grade A fuck up.”

Sam awkwardly wrapped the smaller man in a hug and replied, “I love you. Don’t forget that. No matter what my family thinks I’m not giving you up, OK?”

Gabriel whispered, “OK.” He loved Sam more than anything in the world but he couldn’t say those 3 words out of fear. He wanted to say them but he just couldn’t. Even after 6 months of knowing each other there were still things he wasn’t ready to share. He shifted the car into gear and hit the highway. He followed Sam’s directions to take them to the younger man’s parents house. 

While they drove Sam took hold of the shorter man’s hand and said, “I forgot to tell you… Cas said he’d take care of Max. You’re bug is kind of bright but cute at the same time. It’s not the type of car I would have assumed you’d own.” Sam had watched Gabe eat 3 candy bars and suck on 4 lollypops since they left housing. Currently the older man was sucking on a cherry lollypop.

Gabriel squeezed Sam’s hand and replied around the lollypop in his mouth, “Well. Cas always did pick up after me and take care of Maxie when I couldn’t so that’s good. I had thought about a bubblegum pink one but thought that might just be a little to obviously gay. So I settled on the color of an apple lollypop.”

Sam laughed, “You and your candy. I rarely ever see you without at least a lollypop in your mouth unless you’re eating or sleeping. Can I ask why?”

Gabriel replied, “Umm. Autism. Sucking on a lollypop calms me. It’s a better alternative to drinking. Also a less obvious one than sucking on a pacifier which I used to do. My family ridiculed me for it. Told me I was a stupid baby.”

Sam replied, “I never would have guessed you were autistic.”

Gabriel sighed, “I learned to hide it for the most part. If we lived together you’d pick up on certain…quirks that I have. I draw anything and everything. There are certain things that I will spaz out about if they are moved. I tend to have fits of anger and frustration. I also will tune out and ignore everything when it becomes too much to handle.”

Sam asked, “When you were trying to push me a way…was that part of it?”

Gabriel sighed, “It was me not being able to handle my own feelings for you so I guess in way. I have feelings for you and didn’t know how to deal with it. I was afraid.”

Sam sighed, “Oh, Gabe. Why were you afraid?”

Gabriel stammered, “Because I liked you and you were to perfect. You’re like Adonis and me… I’m a fucked up version of Dionysius. A short fat drunken fool with mental problems.”

Sam leaned against Gabriel’s shoulder and replied, “I don’t care. Stop being so hard on yourself. I love you just the way you are. Even if you did suck on a pacifier instead of a lollypop I wouldn’t care.”

Gabriel snorted, “Easy for you to say. I’ve had a whole life of people including my own family putting me down.” 

Sam replied, “I’m not going to let anyone do that to you again.” When they finally got to his parents house it was around midnight and Sam let them in and they quietly made it to his room. He had called his mom and told her they would be getting there very late. She told him to just be quiet when they come in and go to his room and she would see them in the morning.


	7. Heart to Heart

When Sam was looking at his double bed he suddenly realized this would be the first time him and Gabe actually shared a bed. He asked, “Would you like me to sleep on the sofa?”

Gabriel stammered, “Umm. No. I’m not a prude, Sammy. Just… nervous.”

Sam replied, “It’s just that we haven’t shared a bed yet and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck and replied, “No. I’ll manage. I’m rather embarrassed I didn’t even consider that we’d be sleeping in the same bed. But normal couples would be having sex by now. Not us… Why? Because I’m scared you’ll reject me. Christ I’m pathetic.. I need another damn lollypop.” He searched through his bag and found a grape one and started sucking on it. He felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and just started crying on Sam’s shirt.

Sam said, “It’s all right, Gabe. I’m in no hurry. I want you to be comfortable and happy when we make love not like it’s forced.” He held Gabriel while the older man cried out his frustration and was grateful he wasn’t having a tantrum. When the short man was calmer he said, “Why don’t we get changed for bed? We don’t have to turn the lights on if you don’t want too. You can go first and crawl under the covers and then I’ll go. OK?” He got a nod and watched his boyfriend go get changed and closed his eyes so the smaller man could get under the covers without him gawking. Then he got changed into a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt before slipping in next to the older man.

Gabriel whispered, “I’m sorry I’m such a chicken shit, Sammy.”

Sam gently pulled his boyfriend to him and felt Gabe’s head settle on his shoulder. He replied, “It’s all right. I just wish there was a way I could prove to you that I’m not going anywhere.”

Gabriel whispered, “Thank you for being patient with me.”

Sam kissed the top of the older man’s soft blonde head and replied, “I love you, Gabe. I can wait until you’re ready. I’m just grateful you’re not trying to hide everything from me like you used too.”

Gabriel asked, “How do you…Dammitt. Cassie told you my patterns.”

Sam replied, “He did. I know how you hide behind a fun loving trickster. How you really are shy and insecure when it comes to an actual relationship. How the trickster was a mask that got integrated into your actual personality when you started getting treated for your disorders. He also told me you are madly in love with me or you never would have agreed to meet my family because it terrifies you.”

Gabriel rolled on his back and sighed, “I never know whether to thank Cassie or kill him.”

Sam asked, “So Cas is right?”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, “Cassie… Knows me better than I even know myself sometimes.”

Sam asked hopefully, “So you are madly in love with me?”

Gabriel whispered, “Yes, Sammy. I am. Have been for MONTHS. I can’t say the words but yeah. Cassie is right again.”

Sam asked, “And it terrifies you to be that deeply in love with me?”

Gabriel whispered, “Yeah. IF you reject me…. It will destroy me.”

Sam pulled the older man back in his arms and replied, “I’m not going to reject you. To late in the game for that, old man. I love you too much.” He got the older man to look at him with that and kissed him firmly on the lips. He deepened it until it was a passionate kiss and his hand was gently holding Gabe’s face. When they pulled apart for air he kissed the older man’s cheeks, nose, eyes and forehead. When he made it back to Gabe’s lips he could feel the smile and said, “I love your smile. Have I ever told you that?”

Gabriel sighed, “No. You haven’t, Samshine.”

Sam said, “Well I love your laugh, the squeak in your voice when you get excited or frustrated, your cheeky grin and way you waggle your eyebrows when you are acting devilish, the way your eyes sparkle with gold in whiskey when you are happy, your soft face and pudgy belly. I also find you sucking on a lollypop sexy. I just want to feed you and keep you happy. I want to show you that I love everything about you, even your faults.”

Gabriel couldn’t help it he rubbed his face against Sam’s shirt and purred before he could stop himself. He had been trying so hard to keep his ticks under control. He stammered, “Shit sorry.”

Sam asked, “What are you sorry about?”

Gabriel stammered, “I slipped. That was a tick..”

Sam chuckled, “You are apologizing for purring and rubbing against me like a cat because it’s a tick? No need too. I find it adorable.”

Gabriel sighed, “My Autism has ticks that go with it. I went to therapy to try and get rid of them because people looked at me funny but sometimes they slip out.”

Sam asked, “What are the others?”

Gabriel groaned, “I purr and rub against my mate like a cat when I’m happy, I..hiss like a cat when I’m pissed off, I whine like a dog when I am scared or confused.”

Sam replied, “You don’t have to force yourself to hide them around me. Those ticks are part of you and I want to know all of you.”

Gabriel said, “Are you sure you won’t get annoyed by them?”

Sam replied, “I’m sure. Besides then I can read your moods better now that I know what they mean.”

Gabriel replied, “I’ll think about it.”

Sam kissed the top of Gabe’s head and replied, “Fair enough.” He felt Gabe’s breathing slow after a few minutes into sleep. He followed him soon after.


	8. Meeting the Family

Sam woke up early and decided to go for a run. He kissed Gabriel on the temple before throwing on a sweatshirt with his jogging pants. He thought the older man was cute when he slept and looked younger as well. He texted Dean to tell him they had gotten there all right.

Gabriel was lying on his side and rubbed his eyes before placing his hand on Sam’s side of the bed to find it cold. He had wound up with the covers around his hips and his shirt was hiked up to about his ribcage. As he rolled over he stretched and scratched his belly. He opened his eyes and grabbed the covers to cover his round belly when he saw a 4 year old girl standing next to the bed. He whined in shock before he stammered, “Uh. Hi.”

Mary Ann replied, “Hi.” She heard voices and hopped on the bed and burrowed under the covers with him. She knew he was safe or he wouldn’t be in Daddy’s bed. She was curious why Daddy’s friend just whimpered like a sad puppy.

Mary came upstairs looking for Mary Ann because she was sure the girl would be in her father’s room. Imagine her surprise to find a man in her son’s bed. Although when she thought about it she remembered Sam telling her his boyfriend was coming as well. She felt bad for the poor man because he seemed so nervous. She leaned over and held out her hand. She said, “I’m Mary Winchester. Sam’s mom. Would you be Gabriel?”

Gabriel stammered, “Ummm. Yeah.”

Mary said, “I apologize for invading your privacy but I’m looking for Mary Ann. I can usually find her here when she runs and hides.”

Gabriel stuttered, “Um well…4 year old girl? Yeah. I saw her. Ouch. Stop that! That hurt you little minx.” The child had curled against his side and decided to pinch the soft roll of fat on his belly.

Mary sighed, “Mary Ann Winchester you shouldn’t be jumping in bed with strange men, even if they are your father’s boyfriend. You should get to know the man first. Now come out from under there young lady.”

Mary Ann crawled out and pouted, “Sorry, Grammy.”

Mary said, “You should apologize to Gabriel. That includes whatever you were doing to hurt him.”

Mary Ann said, “Sorry I hurt and scared you, Gabrel.”

Gabriel stammered, “Its ok. No harm done.”

Sam picked that moment to come in the bedroom and had his arms full of his 4 year old. He said, “Hey, Peanut. I see you met Gabe. Did you crawl in bed with him and pinch him? That wasn’t nice. It’s one thing to do it to me but Gabe’s not used to horsing around with a little pinch bug.”

Mary Ann jumped in her father’s arms yelling, “DADDY!”

Gabriel was surprised that the child launched herself at Sam calling him daddy. That was until he realized what Mary had said about him being the child’s father’s boyfriend. Now he unconsciously started whimpering like a hurt puppy in confusion.   
Sam heard the distressed whimpering and said, “Mary Ann can you go back downstairs with your grandma while I have a talk with Gabriel? We’ll be down in a few minutes.” 

Gabriel asked, “When were you going to tell me you were a father?”

Sam replied, “Actually I planned on introducing you this morning. I didn’t expect her to introduce herself. She’s really usually very shy just like you are. I can tell she likes you because she wouldn’t have done what she did. Sorry about that by the way.”

Gabriel sighed, “Oh Please. She’s adorable really. I just wish you had warned me. I wish you had told me about her before today. Why didn’t you ever tell me about her?”

Sam sighed, “Same reason you still haven’t told me about all your mental problems. I wasn’t sure how too. I also wasn’t positive you wouldn’t leave because of her. Are you?”

Gabriel sighed, “No I told you that I’d accept children if you wanted them. I just wish you had told me about her. She scared the hell out of me. When I woke up she was staring at me. Then without warning she just jumped in bed with me to hide from your mom and started pinching my belly.”

Sam replied, “I’m sorry she scared you like that but she didn’t mean any harm. She does that to me all the time because she only gets to see me 2 days a week. Like I said she’s usually very shy and it’s a good thing she did what she did. It means she accepts you as part of my life and that’s good for us.”

Gabriel sighed, “All right but please tell her no more surprise wake up calls at least not until I get used to her.”

Sam leaned over and kissed Gabe’s forehead and replied, “Ok. Now we should get dressed and go down to breakfast before they come looking for us.” He got a nod from the older man before he went, showered and dressed. He noticed Gabriel was still hiding under the covers and shut the door as he left the room to give his boyfriend privacy. He went downstairs and found everyone there. He saw Bobby, Crowley, Dean, his parents, Adam, Sandy (Adam’s Girlfriend), and Mary Ann. He was glad that at least the introducing will all be done one time.

Gabriel crawled out of bed and took a shower before putting on the same charcoal jeans, red and white paisley button up and black loafers he wore yesterday. He decided it was better to leave the shirt untucked to try and hide his rounded belly the best he could. He really envied Cassie’s metabolism right now. The kid could eat anything and not gain an ounce. He left the top three buttons of his shirt unbuttoned to try and look more relaxed but he was in a panic. He took his meds and 2 anxiety pills before forcing himself to go downstairs. He tried to lock the fear away but he freaked out when he saw how many people were in the kitchen and they were all staring at him.

Sam looked up and something just told him Gabriel was going to bolt if someone made the wrong move. Sure enough as usual his father was the most welcoming person.

John Winchester looked up to see a short, squat man that obviously was overweight and growled, “Who the hell is that?” 

Suddenly Sam watched his boyfriend bolt from the room. Sam groaned, “Thanks, dad. Ever the friendly face. Great first impression. Now I have to go find him.”

John grabbed his son’s arm and growled, “Who the hell is he?”

Sam snapped, “THAT is my boyfriend and you just scared the hell out of him! Now I have to go calm him down.” He walked out and found Gabriel hiding in the corner of his old bedroom hugging his legs and head on knees. He knelt next to him and tried to touch him but the older man flinched away. He said, “Gabe? It’s Sam. It’s ok.”

Gabriel sobbed, “Leave me alone. I shouldn’t have come. You should find someone who’s not afraid of his own shadow. Some who would blend in with your family. I’m so sorry, Sammy.”

Sam moved and gently made Gabriel unfurl and curl into his chest. When Gabe was leaning his head on his shoulder sobbing on his shirt instead of pushing him away he counted that as a win. He wrapped his arms around the older man and soothed, “Shh. It’s ok. My dad is an ass. Did you take your meds, sweetheart?”

Gabriel nodded and clutched at Sam’s shirt. He loved Sam but the hatred he saw in John Winchesters eyes just terrified him. He stammered, “Yeah. I took them. I took double the anxiety pills to try and stay calm but the hatred in your father’s eyes…”

Sam hugged Gabe and kissed the top of his head. He said, “Don’t worry about him. He hates almost everyone. The only one he ever liked was Jessica. That’s only because she gave him a granddaughter.”

Gabriel gasped, “Jessica was Mary Ann’s mom?”

Sam replied, “Yes. Mary Ann was born a year before Jess died.”

Gabriel stammered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t..”

Sam replied, “Hey.. It’s fine. I didn’t get to tell you. Not your fault. That’s why it’s so important Mary Ann likes you. You will be taking Jess’s place in a way because you are the sensitive one. You cook, bake, clean, and are more emotional than I am. You can handle her when she’s upset better than I can because of your nature. You’ll never be able to be Jess or truly take her place but you can be more like a mom than I ever could be.”

Gabriel snorted, “Please tell me I don’t have to wear a dress and makeup.”

Sam laughed, “Not unless you want to. No I don’t expect to BE mom. You just have many feminine qualities that I lack.”

Gabriel stammered, “I’ve been a faggot a lot longer than you have, Sammy. I’ve always been a fairy. You can ask my whole family. Hell my older brother liked calling me a shemale.”

Sam soothed, “Shh. Stop putting yourself down. Just because they do doesn’t mean they are right. You are a wonderful gay man. I don’t care what your family thinks. You are my fairy and I will tell them all to shove it because I love you just the way you are. OK?”

Gabriel whispered, “Thanks for loving me, Sammy.”

Sam kissed the top of the golden head and replied, “It’s ok. It’s hard not to love you, especially when you are being sweet.” He looked up to see his mom in the doorway and sighed, “We’re in here, mom.”


	9. Family Fued

Mary walked in the room and asked, “Are you all right, Gabriel? What happened?” She had watched the poor man run out of the kitchen like he was on fire. She felt bad for him but wasn’t sure why he would take off like that except for John.

Sam replied, “He’ll be all right. He’s just timid around new people and dad scared him. I should have waited and came down with him. It’s my fault.”

Mary firmly said, “No. It’s John’s. He should not have done that. I will deal with him.” With that she walked out of the room and back downstairs to deal with her homophobic husband.

Sam said, “I guess we should go back downstairs before mom kills dad.” As they were walking they heard arguing. They wound up sitting on the stairs listening.

Mary yelled, “How dare you do that to the poor man, John.”

John yelled, “What nerve our son has bringing that…that man in this house.”

Mary yelled, “That man is Sam’s boyfriend, you pompous ass.”

John yelled, “My son’s don’t have boyfriends. They only have girlfriends. I will not allow some fat little faggot to turn MY sons into queers.”

Mary yelled, “You have nothing to say about whom they date, John. Love is love no matter what you may believe.”

John yelled, “You can’t possible condone this bullshit.”

Mary yelled, “I may be a little sad that I won’t have any more grandchildren but I want Sam to be happy. If Gabriel makes him happy I’m not going to treat him like he’s dirt just because he’s a man instead of a woman. I am willing to accept him in our family. I’m not going to shun my own son just because I can’t understand their relationship.”

John sneered, “Do you realize that once Sam is done with school that Mary Ann will be going back with him? That if that…man is still with Sam then he’ll have his queer hooks on her? That he’ll probably make her queer?”

Mary yelled, “Oh get off it. You can’t make someone gay. It’s not a disease. They either are or are not. Being raised by a gay couple doesn’t mean the child will be gay. All it guarantees is that the child will be accepting of them regardless of their own orientation. Now you’re just grasping at straws.”

John yelled, “I will NOT accept that faggot in my home. Nor do I want him near MY granddaughter!”

Mary yelled, “That’s just too bad because this is my home and she’s MY granddaughter too. I have no problem with the man being here or around her. You can simply not be here while Sam and Gabriel are here then.” She watched John storm out of the house and drive off. 

Sam led Gabriel down the stairs after seeing his father leave and gently pushed the older man in to the kitchen. 

Gabriel stammered, “I’m so sorry I caused such problems for your family. Maybe I should just go…. I’ve caused enough trouble by just being here.”

Mary Ann ran over to her father’s friend and cried, “No, Gabrel. Don go!” She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and rested her head on his belly. She slipped one of her hand under his shirt to rest on his soft protruding belly.

Gabriel was shocked when the child ran over and wrapped her arms around him begging him not to go. He didn’t know what to do so he just hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. He was even more surprised when he felt her hand slip under his shirt to rest on his belly. Meanwhile Sam’s arm was still wrapped around his shoulders on the opposite side as the child.

Mary sighed, “No, Gabriel. This… disaster isn’t your fault. John’s just a homophobic bigoted ass. I want you to stay. Whether he likes it or not you are part of the family now. Guess we should introduce everyone else now. This is Adam and his girlfriend Sandy. He’s John’s youngest and this is Dean our oldest son. That odd couple over there are Bobby and Crowley. Then this is Ellen and her daughter Jo.”

Gabriel whined like a puppy before stammered, “Umm. Hi?” Before he knew it he was being hugged and welcomed to the family. The only one that didn’t was Dean. He was worried that this one would be the same as the father had been. He was sat down at the table and interrogated by the elder brother.

Dean asked, “How did you meet my brother?”

Gabriel stammered, “College?”

Dean asked, “IF you met him at college then did you change your profession or something?”

Gabriel stammered, “Nnno. I’m the head of maintenance. Sammy… He…uh… had a problem with his plumbing… I fixed it. After a few false starts we kinda gave in to our feelings.”

Sam chuckled, “And an intervention by Cas.”

Dean asked, “Cas? Your roommate? Why would he help with your love life?”

Gabriel stammered, “He’s my younger brother and knew he had to do something to get my head out of my ass.”

Dean laughed, “I have got to meet him someday. He sounds like a cool dude.”

Gabriel shrugged, “I think he’d like you. You are definitely his type…of person I mean.”

Dean replied, “I’m still not sure what Sammy sees in you… You are short, fat, older, plain looking and obviously scared of your own shadow but if you EVER hurt my brother I swear I will tear you limb from limb. You better take good care of both my brother and his little girl. Do you understand?”

Gabriel whined and mumbled, “Perfectly.”

Dean replied, “All right. Sammy could have done worse… Like Ruby… At least you seem nice. Welcome to the family, small fry.” He wrapped Gabriel in a bone crushing hug after dragging him to his feet. He smacked the shorter man on the belly and hugged his brother. 

Mary Ann said, “No like Ruby…yuck. Like Gabrel.” She again wrapped herself around the short stout man again and rested her head on his soft belly. It reminded her of a pillow and she tightened her grip on his pants. She wanted her father to keep this one because she was drawn to him the minute she saw him.

Dean was surprised and said, “I’ve never seen her take to anyone like that before. Believe me. That’s a good thing, Shorty.”

Sam sighed, “Do you have to do that, Dean. I know your just teasing but he’s been put down his whole life because he’s chubby and short. Just for your information I love him just the way he is and like his body.”

Gabriel sighed, “It’s all right. At least it’s not said with malice.”

Dean chuckled, “Wow. I never would have imagined the health and exercise nut to be.. What is it? A chubby chaser? But then they do say opposites attract. As long as your happy, Sammy.”

Gabriel was surprised at how welcoming the rest of the family was to him even after he caused a disaster in this family. He found it funny how the pudgy dark haired Englishman had a nickname for everyone. Dean was squirrel, Sam was Moose, Bobby was grizzly, John was badger, Mary was Lioness, Adam was chipmunk, Sandy was poodle, Ellen was Rottweiler, and Jo was panther. Hell even Mary Ann was called Pomeranian. Each nickname had a meaning and connection to the person he gave it too.  
Crowley sat next to the new short man in the family and teased, “Now what am I going to call you? Hmm. From how Sam describes you… You are flamboyant and loud when you are comfortable with people. I thought maybe flamingo but that doesn’t really fit…Right now though you’d never know it. There are no innuendos flying around or jokes. You are completely different around new people aren’t you? You like roll over and play dead… ah. Possum. I’m going to call you possum. They are chatty with those they know but play dead when they don’t know someone.”

Gabriel sighed, “Could be worse. You could have called me snake like I’m sure John Winchester is calling me.”

Crowley shrugged and said, “Eh don’t worry about that arsehole. He had a problem with Grizzly and me as well. Good old Lioness just told him to shove it up his homophobic arse. I had a hell of a time getting this wanker’s attention because he was like Badger in the beginning but eventually I managed ta seduce him and prove being a fag isn’t so bad after all. Oh don’t get me wrong we fight like hell but the makeup sex is well worth it. Ya ever need ta talk or someplace ta go you give me a call, Possum. Free of charge. Ya are family after all.” He handed Gabe his business card. He wasn’t surprised when the other man laughed.

Gabriel laughed, “You’re a therapist? Wow. I never saw that coming. You seem more like the morgue type to me because of the black.”

Crowley feigned offense and replied, “I’m not thin anymore and the black hides the fat quite well. Maybe you should try it.” He saw how the other man’s face fell and realized his folly. He said, “Hey, Hey. It’s all right. I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a suggesting to make you feel better about yourself by dressing in colors that hide it.”

Sam said, “I love him in anything he wears. He doesn’t have to hide his weight. I find it attractive. I even think he’s sexy looking. I can’t wait to see him running around in his boxers or even better his birthday suit.” He kissed the top of Gabe’s head and watched Crowley turn pink with embarrassment. He liked the man but sometimes he didn’t know when to keep his nose out of other people’s asses.

Crowley squeaked, “Well. That’s great. There aren’t many guys that find fat men attractive. Congratulations on finding a hot one that loves fatter men. You are very lucky.”


	10. Beating

Gabriel was finally starting to relax some by time evening came until John came back drunk and on the warpath. Mary, Sam and Dean had gone to the store while he stayed ‘home’ with the kid. He was sitting in the living room in the rocker with Mary Ann on his lap reading her a story. He couldn’t believe how attached the child had gotten to him in just the few hours they knew each other. He was shocked when the 4 year old was ripped out of his arms and he was picked up by his collar and thrown to the floor hard. His glasses skidded across the room and he saw Annie go grab them to keep them from getting broken. He yelped in pain before yelling, “What the fuck? You could have hurt the child you asshole!”

John snarled, “You do NOT ever touch my granddaughter, faggot! You stay away from her and my son of I’ll rip your nuts off and shove them up your fat ass.”

Gabriel flipped a switch and became flippant. He goaded, “Oh really? Well why don’t you try it jackass? My FAT ass could outrun you any day old man. You are nothing but a pathetic bigot and bully. My relationship with Sammy really isn’t any of your fucking business. I came here to meet his family as a courtesy because that was what he wanted me to do.” He didn’t see the punch that caught him in the eye or the kick to the belly. Before he knew it he was pretty beat up and Mary Ann was wailing in the background. He was surprised when suddenly the beating stop and he curled up in a fetal ball sobbing. He felt a pair of tiny hands pulling on his clothes but he was hurting too much to care.

Dean came in the house to his father beating the shit out of Gabriel. He yanked the old man off the smaller man and threw him away from the poor man huddled on the floor. He yelled, “Get the fuck out of here. Sam will kick your ass for this if you don’t.”

John snarled, “I’m not leaving until the faggot is either is dead or leaves MY house.”

Mary coldly said, “No, John. You are going to leave or I will shoot you. Now get out!” She held a gun level with his head and watched him leave before Sam came in the room.

Sam walked in to find his boyfriend sobbing and beaten on the floor in a ball. Then next thing he noticed was his wailing daughter trying to get the older man’s attention. He knelt next to the shorter man and was a little hurt by the fact that Gabriel flinched but he understood why. He said, “Gabe? Dad’s gone. Mom chased him out. Will you let us take care of you or do we need to take you to the hospital?”

Mary Ann watched Gabriel get beat the crap out of by her grandfather and as soon as she could she ran over and started pulling on his shirt crying, “Gabrel? Gabrel? Please..Daddy help him!” She finally noticed him searching for her with his hand and held it out so he could take it. She felt him squeeze it tightly.

Gabriel finally managed to get his bearings back and sought out the distraught 4 year old’s hand. He felt her touch his palm and squeezed her hand. He opened his eyes to find her pretty face close to his and rasped, “I’m all right, Mary Ann. It just hurts a lot right now.” He watched her start to gently card her fingers through his hair and closed his eyes again. At some point he felt himself being lifted bridal style and knew it had to Sam so he didn’t fight it. When he was set down on the bed he winced and joked, “See this is why I hate meeting the family.. Way too much drama for me. I’m getting to old for this bullshit.”

Mary Ann hopped on the bed with Gabriel and went back to carding her fingers through his hair because it had seemed that he liked it. She sobbed, “Sorry, Gabrel. Sorry.”

Gabriel rasped, “Not your fault, Kiddo. I’m the one that pissed him off. Me and my big fat mouth. Cassie’s always saying I don’t know when to shut my big mouth.” He felt Mary and Sam treating any cuts or abrasions left by John’s assault. He tried to ignore them and let them take care of him but it was all he could do to tolerate their touch at the moment. He tried to distract both himself and the child by keeping her attention. He rasped, “How about we give each other nicknames? Ones that only we can use for each other. How about I call you Pumpkin?”

Mary Ann replied, “OK. I call you Loki?”

Gabriel asked, “Where did you hear that?”

Mary Ann replied, “You and daddy talking about games? Called you Loki.”

Gabriel replied, “OK You can call me Loki.” He remembered calling himself Loki quite a few times when talking about being a trickster. He was guessing she overheard him earlier when he was talking to Sam. He watched Mary eventually drag the kid out of the room for bed and nodded off. He woke up in the middle of the night to a movement on the mattress next to him. He opened his eyes and let his eyes adjust to the dark before he noticed Mary Ann next to him crying. He rubbed the pad of his thumb to take the tears away and asked, “Pumpkin? What’s the matter?”

Mary Ann had a nightmare about grumps killing Loki and she had to go to her father’s room to make sure he was all right. She stammered, “Sorry… Loki…Bad dream…grumps kill you..I got scared.”

Gabriel pulled her down so she was lying on his chest and replied, “It’s all right. I’m not mad. I’m going to be fine. I’m just going to be hurting for a while.” 

Mary Ann sobbed, “Please don die…Loki.”

Gabriel soothed, “Shhh. It’s all right. I’m not going to die. I promise. Ok?” His tank wound up pretty wet from her tears but he let sob herself out. He blinked when the light went on in the room and he saw Mary. 

Mary quietly said, “I’m sorry. I’ll take her back to her room.”

Gabriel whispered, “Oh please. It’s fine. She can stay here. I’m starting to get used to it. Besides I don’t think it worth the fight. She wants to be here.” He watched Mary nod and back out of the bedroom. He felt his little bed partner move and asked, “Hey, pumpkin. You feel any better?”

Mary Ann said, “Thank you not letting Grammy take me. I wanta stay here with you.”

Gabriel replied, “I kind of got that. Ow.” She accidentally elbowed him in a bruised part of his belly when she shifted.

Mary Ann whined, “Sorry. I hurt you.”

Gabriel hissed in pain until it subsided and grunted, “It’s not your fault. You just hit a tender spot when you shifted. It’s not bothering me now just try to be careful where you move, ok?”

Mary Ann whispered, “OK.” She curled up on his shoulder with her hand grasping his tank. She felt his arm wrap around her shoulders and nodded off feeling warm and safe.

Gabriel did wonder where Sam was but figured the taller man would be along when he was ready. He woke up again sometime later to another shift of the bed and saw Sam. He pointed to Mary Ann and got a nod from the younger man before they both settled down with the 4 year old in the middle.

Sam whispered, “I’m happy now. I have both of you together. I love you, Gabe.” He gently leaned over and kissed the older man’s cheek before settling down with a hand on his boyfriend’s belly.

Gabriel mumbled, “Ditto, Sammy.” Which is the closest he could get to saying I love you back. He soon nodded off to sleep again wrapped in Sam’s arms with Mary Ann warm against his side.


	11. Going Home

Gabriel woke up sometime around mid morning and Mary Ann was still burrowed into his side. He had to admit he was starting to get quite fond of this little 4 year old ball of affection. He scrubbed his free hand over his face and hissed as he rubbed the black eye. He felt his little bedmate move and looked down to see her looking at him. He joked, “Eh. I’ve had worse. Probably don’t look very pretty though huh?” He was surprised when she gently reached out and touched every bruise and cut on his face.

Mary Ann touched every imperfection on Loki’s face that wasn’t there yesterday before Grumps beat him. Soon after she buried her face in his shoulder and cried again. She loved him just as if he was her father. She knew it as soon as her grandfather beat the crap out of him. She would always worry about him like she does her father.

Gabriel sighed, “Aw Don’t cry. I’m all right. Don’t worry. My ugly mug will be back to normal again in a few weeks. It will heal, Pumpkin. No lasting damage was done.” He rolled onto his side facing her and wrapped her in his arms. He still couldn’t figure out why this child got so attached to him. He wasn’t anything special.

Sam found Gabriel and Mary Ann still wrapped in each other’s arms when he came back upstairs. He managed to pull her away from his boyfriend so the older man could get a shower and dressed.

Gabriel kissed the top of Mary Ann’s head and said, “I’ll be down in a while. I have to get dressed ok? I promise I’ll be all right. Now go get breakfast. I’ll see you in a bit.” He got a hesitant nod from her but was glad she went with Sam so he could get washed without having her clinging to his boxers or whatever. After he showered, shaved, brushed his teeth and got dressed he packed everything back in his duffle bag. He was wearing a black tee-shirt, dark tan wide legged pants, a gray fall jacket and brown short boots.

Sam had watched Mary Ann’s interaction with Gabriel since their introduction and could tell his daughter has gotten quite attached to his older boyfriend. He was actually very glad she took to Gabe like she did because he planned on spending a life with the shorter man and it’s much better if his 4 year old liked his partner. He asked, “So Peanut… What do you think of Gabe?”

Mary Ann replied, “I love him, Daddy.”

Sam asked, “Do you think we should keep him?”

Mary replied,” Yes!”

Sam chuckled, “Good. I was hoping you’d say that.”

Mary Stammered, “Do you think he will be my papa?”

Sam hugged his little girl and replied, “I think so but you have to be patient with him. I’m surprised he has been this good with you so soon. I never told him about you. You surprised him that first day.”

Mary stammered, “Oh, Sorry. I tot he knew.”

Sam sighed, “No Peanut. I hadn’t found the right time to tell him.”

Mary stammered, “Do he like me?”

Gabriel had come down the steps sometime about the time she asked about him being her second father and found he did honestly want to be that to her. He couldn’t help but love her because of her affectionate personality and acceptance of him without knowing a damn thing about him except he was Sam’s boyfriend. He said, “Of course I like you, Pumpkin. You think I put up with young ladies in my bed sobbing all over me for kicks? I’m not used to that sort of thing. So you know what that makes you? Very special. You are my very special young lady. So don’t worry your pretty little head.” Half way though that speech he had knelt on the floor in front of her and lifted her chin to look at him. When he was done he wrapped her in his arms for a hug. 

Mary Ann buried her nose in the crook of his should and said, “I love you, Loki. Don leave me like the others. Please?”

Gabriel rasped, “I’m not planning on it. As long as Samoose here wants me around you, me and Sammy are going to be a family OK, Pumpkin?”

Mary Ann asked, “Will you be my papa, Loki?”

Gabriel rasped, “If that’s what you both want… Sure. I’ll be your papa.” He was both surprised and content to have a 4 year old smacking kisses all over his face in excitement. 

Mary asked, “I call you papa? Or Loki?”

Gabriel rasped, “Loki is fine for now. After I get used to the concept of being a father then maybe you can call me papa if you want. Fair enough?” He got a nod against his shoulder and kissed the girl’s temple. He was actually quite hungry this morning and stuffed himself on chocolate chip pancakes with lots of maple syrup and sausage. He felt Sam’s hand gently press his bloated belly and quietly groaned. 

Sam smirked when he felt how taunt the older man’s pot belly was from eating too much. He knew his boyfriend wouldn’t be able to pass up pancakes. It was one of Gabe’s favorite breakfast foods and that was why he asked his mom to make them after he bought the mix for them. He whispered in Gabe’s ear, “I’ll give you a belly rub before we hit the road so you aren’t too bloated.”

Mary had been shocked how much the little man could put away. He ate 4 sausage links and 10 big pancakes. It didn’t really matter to her but it was a shock. After Gabriel left to go upstairs to lay down she asked, “Does he always eat that much, Sam?”  
Sam smiled and replied, “Only if he loves what you put in front of him. Otherwise he tries to hold back.”

Mary asked, “You wanted him to eat that much… Why?”

Sam replied, “Gabe was always fighting his weight until he met me. I prefer him the way he is with his obsession with candy, sweets, and his round pot belly. I…like watching him eat. I even on occasion feed him myself as foreplay or to sooth him when he’s wound up. I enjoy feeding him and he enjoys eating.”

Mary sighed, “You always were a bit odd but whatever works for you two. As long as you are happy, Sam.”

Sam smiled and replied, “I am very happy with Gabe. I don’t think I was even this happy with Jess because she wasn’t an eater. Gabe has the occasional worry but then I feed him something sweet and remind him how much I love him and how sexy I think he is until he is ok again.. Jess constantly freaked out if she gained an ounce. But I love Gabe because he’s silly, sweet and loving too. When you get to know him he’ll open up more and you’ll see how much fun he can be. Because he’s been hurt so much it took me 6 months to get to where we are now. To the point that he accepts I love him just the way he is and how he looks.”

Mary asked, “How did you meet each other?”

Sam replied, “He’s the head of maintenance at my college. I had a problem with the plumbing in our housing unit and he fixed it. He’s also Cas’ older brother.”

Mary asked, “How old is he?”

Sam shrugged and replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care. If he wants to tell me then he will. If not I’m not going to badger him about it.”

Mary asked, “Have you made sure he’s not…carrying anything?”

Sam sighed, “That’s not really something you should ask but yeah. We both agreed and got tested to put each other at ease. He’s clean and believes in monogamy. Besides our relationship doesn’t center on sex. We are more about emotional intimacy and companionship. We don’t need sex to know we are in love with each other.”

Mary gasped, “You haven’t had sex yet have you?”

Sam sighed, “No. It’s not because we don’t want to or lack of attraction. Gabe is very shy and nervous about it. He had a few really horrible experiences and is scared of sexual intimacy. We are taking it at his pace and when he’s ready he’ll let me know. We found we are able to share a bed together now.”

Mary sighed, “Are you sure you want to take on a partner with so many….issues?”

Gabriel had come back downstairs and heard Sam talking to his mom about him. He came in the kitchen and snapped, “Why don’t I just lay it all out on the table? You’re telling her everything anyway. You want to know why I’m not screwing your son? I was raped repeatedly by my brother before I got involved with a lover I trusted that also raped me for YEARS before she up and left me for the guy that she had raping me. I haven’t been able to get it up since, Ok? I have no desire to have sex because I have erectile dysfunction. There now you both have the answer as to why I haven’t had sex with Sammy yet. Not even the little blue pill can help me because I am so fucking terrified of sex. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.”

Sam said, “You said you had relationships after Kali…”

Gabriel snapped, “I lied, OK? I didn’t want you to know I can’t get it up. SO I lied.”

Sam asked, “Why?”

Gabriel snorted, “Look at you. You’re gorgeous, bright, young and for some stupid fucking reason you want me….ME of all people. A short, fat cowardly man with a shit job. I’ve spent most of my life being RAPED and beaten by people I TRUSTED. You are young and I just want to make you happy but I can’t perform. I was hoping it would straighten out because I am attracted to you and do want to be your lover but… my dick and my heart just won’t agree. I’m embarrassed because if I can’t get it up for you then what hope is there?”

Sam wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and said, “Oh, Gabe. You could have told me the truth. You should have known I wouldn’t judge you. I love you. I just wish you trusted me like I trust you. I trust you with my most precious thing. My daughter. She loves you. That is a rare thing for her. Everyone else I have ever dated she was either terrified of or hated.”

Gabriel whispered, “I’m trying. I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever trusted except Cassie. It’s still hard to tell you some things because I just don’t know how to tell you them especially when they are so personal. I’m just not used to… opening up.”  
Sam sighed, “It’s all right. Granted you didn’t have to say it in front of my mom but yeah.. Thank you for finally telling me.”

Gabriel stammered, “Shit. Sorry. I flipped out on your mom. God. If you guys don’t want me here again I can fully understand.”

Mary gently grabbed Gabriel’s arm and replied, “It’s ok. I shouldn’t have asked such a personal question. I really don’t want to know all about your sex life or lack thereof with my son. It just kind of came out before I realized I said it. I am sorry if I offended you. You really are a nice man and I think you’ll be good for Annie. She needs a …. More sensitive parent to help Sam because he’s not very good at the emotional stuff. When she falls down and scrapes her knee he can patch her up but he’s not good with the comforting part and you are. You complement each other well in that way. I just wanted to make sure my son was happy. It wasn’t meant to hurt you. Honestly it wasn’t.” She wrapped her arms around the smaller man for a hug and felt him rub his head against her. She thought that was an unusual reaction but wasn’t about to piss him off again. For how small and scared he is he’s a little firecracker. 

Gabriel whispered, “OK.” He was unconsciously rubbing against Mary like a cat until he noticed and stopped. He pulled away and said, “I never did get to lie down. I guess I should do that. We need to leave in a couple hours and you two probably want some alone time. I’ll be in Sammy’s room if anyone wants me.” He was lying on the bed trying to take a nap when he felt the minute bouncing and should have realized the girl would follow him. He was laying his side facing away from her and felt her running her fingers through his hair.

Mary Ann ran her fingers through Loki’s hair because she could tell he liked it. It seemed to calm him when he was upset and curled herself against his back after kissing his cheek. He said, “I love you, Loki. Please stay.” She didn’t understand why her father only saw her on weekends or why this little man couldn’t stay with her. She started to cry and shake against him and curled against his chest when he rolled over and wrapped his arms around her.

Gabriel sighed, “I don’t understand why you are so attached to me. I’m nothing special. I’m just a loser that happened to get lucky. Sammy said that I’m the only one he’s dated you’ve ever liked. Why?”

Mary Ann stuttered, “You hold me like you are my daddy. You care when I sad or happy. You love me.”

Gabriel was going to argue that last statement because he hadn’t had the time but then he realized he did love her like he would his own child and that terrified him. The child was right and now he had another fear that if Sam dumped he’d loose Mary Ann as well. He sighed, “All right. You got me. Guilty.” Sometime later they wound up back downstairs for lunch and then Sam was packing the car while he sat in the rocker reading Mary Ann as story again.

Sam watched Gabriel reading to Mary Ann and smiled. He had to admit the older man was cute with his black framed reading glasses perched on his nose and Mary curled up in his lap as he leaned back in the rocker they were sitting in. He could see them as a family just like this every day.

Mary Ann stammered, “Loki? Don go. Stay. Please.”

Gabriel set the book aside and held her for a while. He finally sighed, “We have to go back, Pumpkin. Your daddy has to finish school and I have a job that I have to do. I’ll visit you when my schedule allows it. Soon as things work out we’ll all be together and then you will get sick of seeing my ugly face every day.”

Mary Ann whispered, “Promise?”

Gabriel kissed her temple and replied, “Yeah, Pumpkin. I’ll work something out. I promise.” He wasn’t sure how he would do it because this was the first full weekend he’s had off since he met Sam. He almost always had Saturday off but not Sunday.  
Mary Ann snuggled into his warm soft belly and mumbled, “OK. You not ugly, Loki.” She felt his belly bounce as he laughed.

Gabriel laughed, “That’s a matter of opinion I guess but thanks anyway.” All too soon it was time for them to go back to the college. He hugged her tightly and let her smack as many kissed all over him that she needed to before letting Mary take her again. He said, “I’ll be back before you know it, OK?” He gave her a lollypop and kissed her cheek. He was sad as they drove back to campus after watching her sobbing as they drove away. He dropped Sam off and went home to bake not knowing what else to do to try and distract himself from the pained look on Mary Ann’s face. By time he went to bed that night he had chocolate chip cupcakes, Carrot cake, and pecan strudel made. He knew if he didn’t take some to Cassie and Sam he’d eat all of it. So he packed up half of it all to take in the morning to them


	12. First Time

When their relationship hit the 8 month mark Gabriel decided he was going to force himself to have sex or he’d never do it and that just wasn’t fair to Sam who has been more than patient with him. So that night he showed up at the housing early and told Cassie what he was up too.

Castiel asked, Are you sure, Gabriel? What if you can’t….”

Gabriel always thought how flustered Cassie got about sex was cute. He sighed, “If I can’t get it up? I don’t care. It wouldn’t be the first time I had to please someone without getting anything out of it. I can still find a way to please Sam even if I don’t get much enjoyment out if it. He DESERVES better than a broken old fag but he chose me and I’ll be god damned if I’m not going to TRY and keep him happy anyway I can. Even if I have to let him…. Screw me without my own enjoyment. I CAN’T lose him, Cassie. I just can’t.” His voice cracked on the last 2 sentences.

Castiel sighed, “I just worry that you will cause yourself more anguish, Brother.”

Gabriel whispered, “I know but I have to do something. Sam’s been more than patient with me. Sooner or later he’ll leave me for someone who’s not afraid to get a dick shoved up their ass or can give a blowjob without wanting to hurl.” He finished dinner in record time and set it in the oven to stay warm while he got the table set up. 

Castiel sighed, “All right. I will go out but I will be home later to check on you so I am here to pick up the pieces of my broken brother again if I need too. I think you are pushing yourself to do something that you will regret.”

When Sam came back home he was surprised to find Gabriel in the living room nervously twiddling his thumbs. He asked, “Are you all right, Gabe?”

Gabriel stammered, Yeah. I’m… I’m fine. Dinner’s ready if you’re hungry.” He got a nod and set about putting food on the table. He was nervous as hell and he took two anxiety pills to try and calm himself down. He calmed down some when after Sam was done eating the younger man moved his chair over and took his fork. This was familiar and calming when Sam fed him and coaxed him to finish everything on his plate. He had gotten used to eating half his meal and then Sam feeding him the rest because it made them both happy. Eventually he was stuffed and he gently placed a hand on Sam’s arm to stop him.

Sam enjoyed feeding Gabe until his tummy was hard. He knew that when his boyfriend had enough he’d stop him. He felt a hand on his arm and kissed the older man’s lips. He said, “You full, short stack?” He gently slipped his hands under Gabe’s loose button up and rubbed his belly firmly until he got a loud burp and a couple of smaller hiccup type burps. He kissed the older man again and said, “Why don’ t you go lay down on the sofa for bit and I’ll clean up?”

Gabriel said, “No. Could you just take me to bed?”

Sam was surprised by how forward Gabriel was being but figured he meant just to lie side by side like they had been doing ever since they came back from meeting his family. He got the older man laying on the bed and curled up against the shorter man’s back and spent a half hour just rubbing his boyfriend’s round belly until it had softened some. He asked, “Feeling a bit better, Gabe?”

Gabriel rolled to face Sam and passionately kissed the younger man. He put everything he felt into the kiss and slipped his hand under Sam’s flannel shirt and tee-shirt to caress skin. He molded himself to Sam the best he could while they kissed. He felt Sam’s fingers scratching his scalp and thought so far so good. He hadn’t freaked out yet so that was a plus.

Sam automatically reacted to Gabe and passionately kissed the older man back and ran his palms up and down the smaller man’s back. He gently pinched the shorter man’s love handles because he just loved the pudge on his boyfriend’s body. He carded the fingers of one hand through Gabe’s hair and was surprised when the older man pulled away slightly to start unbuttoning his shirt. He stopped the busy fingers and asked, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Gabriel stammered, “No but I have to face sex sooner or later. All I ask is that you try to be patient if I panic.”

Sam kissed Gabe’s forehead and replied, “IF it gets too hard for you to go on then we stop. No matter what, OK?”

Gabriel nodded and unbuttoned his shirt before throwing it on a chair. He stood up, slid off the bed and hesitantly took off his jeans before crawling back in bed in just his boxers. He watched as Sam stripped to his briefs and suddenly had a feeling in inadequacy.

Sam saw Gabe change moods and crawled back in the bed with his older lover. He gently got the older man to look at him by grasping his chin in one hand while rubbing soothing circles on Gabe’s belly with the other one. He asked, “What’s the matter, Shortcake?”

Gabriel sighed, “You’re so….beautiful. And I’m not.”

Sam said, “Hey. None of that. I told you I find you beautiful. That’s all that matters. You are the most adorable man I know. I wouldn’t be dating you if I didn’t want to be with you. I love you so much, Gabriel Novak.” He kissed the older man’s jaw, eyes, cheeks, nose and finally lips and had Gabe giggling. He deepened the kiss and lightly scratched his blunt nails on the older man’s soft belly. He moved so that he could kiss and suck Gabriel’s neck and smiled when his lover moaned in bliss. He was determined that if Gabe was making an effort to make love then he was damn well going to make sure his lover felt LOVED. 

Gabriel was surprised by Sam. Kali never bothered to see what he liked. She just took what she wanted. She did the bare minimum to get him aroused so she could get laid. Sam was testing everything. God he loved having his neck sucked and nibbled on. He could tell the younger man figured it out because he sucked harder and caused him to moan loudly in arousal. He could feel the blood rushing down south and was amazed. 

Sam sucked and nibbled on every inch of skin because he found out Gabe liked that. He even sucked and used his tongue to flick in and out of the older man’s belly button which had his lover panting. He was proud of himself because he could feel the smaller man’s hard erection poking him and slipped a hand in Gabe’s boxers and pumped him a few times. He had figured Gabe would be smaller and he was only about 6 inches long and 3 inches thick. He smiled because his cute little boyfriend had a cute little dick to match. All was great in the world. He dug out the lube and slicked his hand up before pumping Gabe in a rhythm.

Gabriel panted, “Fuck me, Sammy. Fuck me before I change my mind.”

Sam stopped what he was doing and asked, “Are you sure?” 

Gabriel whined, “Yes, Show me that getting a dick up the ass can be enjoyable. Please..”

Sam replied, “OK. But tell me if you want to stop. Ah ah I mean it.” He pulled both their underwear off and decided it would be better if his lover could see his face. He remembered Gabe told him Baldur took him from behind and so did Kali with the Dildo. So hopefully if Gabe can see his face he’d have less of a chance of having a panic attack. He made sure to tell the older man what he was doing and keep eye contact. When he finally first entered the smaller man he moaned in happiness. He said, “OH, Gabe. You are so warm and tight. I could stay here inside you forever.” When the smaller man nodded he started a gentle rhythm and kneaded Gabe’s soft belly while he moved in and out with the occasional love bite to the neck and shoulder. He finally managed to find his lover’s sweet spot and angled to make sure he hit it every time he bucked in the older man’s body. He loved that Gabriel was loud in bed although he was a bit surprised. He got mostly moans and demands of ‘more’ ‘faster’ ‘deeper’ but he was ok with that. He wrapped his hand around his lover’s erection and matched the rhythm he had been using going in and out. 

Gabriel was finding he was very loud in the bedroom when he actually enjoyed sex. He was enjoying what Sam was doing to his body and suddenly realized he had to warn Sam he was close. He gasped, “Sammy, I’m going ta…AHh”

Sam nibbled the older man’s shoulder and sped up. He moaned, “Come for me, Gabriel. That’s it.. Let go. I love you.” 

Gabriel came hard as he went stiff and turned red as he came all over Sam’s hand and his own belly. He felt the younger man’s rhythm become erratic before he felt a rush of warmth deep inside of him as Sam reached his orgasm .That sudden rush and Sam still slowly hitting his prostate cause another small spurt of cum from his own spent cock. He felt Sam try to pull out and he grasped the taller man’s face between his palms and panted, ‘No. Not yet, Sammy. Please?”

Sam saw the pleading look on his lover’s face and kissed the older man’s lips. He replied, “OK. Thank you for this gift, Gabe.”

Gabriel asked, “Gift? You were entitled to it if you are in a relationship.”

Sam replied, “No. Not the sex. For trusting that I wouldn’t hurt you. That I wouldn’t treat you like Kali did. That I can make you happy and enable you to enjoy sex.”

Gabriel laughed, “Oh. I trust you. I just didn’t trust myself not to freak the fuck out and ruin the whole mood. That’s why it took me 8 months to get the balls to do this.”

Sam leaned on his elbows and did a trail of kisses down Gabe’s sweaty chest and replied, “Well it was well worth the wait, Shortcake. Just the noises you made were worth it.”

Gabriel stammered, “Sorry. I never knew I could be so loud and inarticulate. I never…. enjoyed sex before. It was just a chore to keep Kali happy and then painful with Baldur…and Luci…That was torture. Until now it hadn’t ever been truly pleasant. I find I enjoy it with you, Sammy.”

Sam lazily kissed Gabe’s chest and replied, “Don’t worry from now on I’m going to make sure you enjoy it. The difference is you used to have sex. We are going to make love and I’m going to make sure you are happy.”

Gabriel ran his fingers up and down Sam’s bicep and replied, “I wish I could do this more often. But I find that in my old age it leaves me quite exhausted. I think I need a nap now.” He felt Sam slide out of him and roll to the side and gather him in his arms. He whined like a puppy when Sam pulled out but settled down in his lover’s arms.

Sam chuckled, “You go ahead and sleep, Gabe. Maybe you’ll feel more like a second round when you wake up. If not… that ‘s ok. We have all the time in the world now. I love you.” He kissed the older man’s temple and held the older man close. He pulled the blanket over them and slides his hand down to rest on the swell of his lover’s round belly. He buried his nose against the smaller man’s neck and rubbed against Gabe’s shorter curly hair there.

Castiel came back some hours later to find Sam in the kitchen clearing dinner. He raised an eyebrow at the fact that Sam was alone. He asked, “Is Gabriel all right?”

Sam replied, “Yeah, Cas. He’s fine. He’s sleeping in my room. I guess I wore him out so I let him sleep it off and I’d clean up dinner. Your brother is a wonderful cook.”

Castiel deadpanned, “I hope so with how much he likes to eat. It would really suck for him if he wasn’t. He is a better baker though.”

Sam chuckled, “Yeah. I loved the goodies he brought us after he met my parents.”

Castiel asked, “Were there any problems? Did he panic?”

Sam asked, “Panic? What?”

Castiel replied, “Gabriel informed he planned to seduce and have sex with you tonight.”

Sam stammered, “Oh. No. He was fine but then we made love. Maybe that’s the difference. He enjoyed himself… At least that’s what he told me anyway.” 

Castiel asked, “Do you mind if I check on him?”

Sam replied, “No. Go right ahead. If he’s awake tell him I’ll be in shortly.”

Castiel walked to Sam’s room and smiled. His brother was fast asleep and the age lines had eased meaning he was peaceful. He decided to talk to Gabriel in the morning before he left to go to classes. It was Friday night so Gabriel didn’t have to be in work the next day. He realized that it was lucky that Sam had replaced his single bed with a double a year ago. He quietly closed the door and went back to his bedroom. He stripped to his boxers and tee-shirt before crawling into bed. Maybe the only therapy Gabriel truly needed was a man that adored him.

After that night Gabriel was no longer afraid of making love with Sam anymore. In fact he actually turned into a horny bugger and couldn’t get enough of Sam’s dick. He also showed Sam he was very adept at sucking on his lover’s cock. He preferred to have Sam buried balls deep inside him but he was happy giving his lover a blow job as well when need be. One thing that kept him content was making Sam happy and giving him a happy sex life. As long as Sam was happy with him he was content and happy himself.


	13. Christmas

Over the next couple of months Gabriel went back to their regular Friday night dates so Sam could go home to see his family on the weekends. Some of those nights he spent making love with his younger lover until he fell asleep in the taller man’s arms. It was getting close to Christmas break. He had spent Thanksgiving cooking for just him and Cassie. He had his brother over his apartment while Sam went home for the holiday. He had to work the holiday so he couldn’t have gone with Sam if he wanted too.   
Sam felt bad that Cas and Gabe didn’t come for Thanksgiving and called to ask his mom if he could bring them both for Christmas. That’s when he found out his father had left his mom over him and Gabe so it was just her and Mary Ann at home now. When she said it was all right he asked, “Hey, Cas? Would you like to come home with me for Christmas?”

Castiel replied, “I’d like to but I need to find out what Gabriel is doing for the holiday, Sam. I can’t leave him alone if he has to work again.”

Sam said, “If he’s not working I’m dragging him home with me. Annie is distraught that he hasn’t come back since I introduced them. She thinks he left or worse I dumped him.”

Castiel sighed, “Unfortunately children don’t understand the idea of obligations. If Gabriel will go with you then I’d be more than happy to go as well.”

Sam finally managed to catch Gabriel in the mens room in the AD building fixing a sink of all places. He said, “Hey shortcake!” He winced as the older man whacked his head hard on the cabinet and swore loudly. He winced as the older man got soaked as he obviously knocked something loose he shouldn’t have. He stammered, “Sorry, Gabe.”

Gabriel didn’t expect to be bothered because classes were in progress and boy did he hit his head. He sat up and glared up at the one that bothered him and suddenly smiled. HE knew the only person to called him fond nicknames was Sammy. He rubbed his head and said, “Hey, Samsquatch. Long time no see.” It was true. They had both been so busy that they hadn’t been able to even go out Fridays for about 3 weeks. They hadn’t even had time to say hi when they saw each other on campus. If it had been anyone else he would have thought the taller man was avoiding him but he knew Sam was taking a bunch of tests before break and was an A student. That sort of shit doesn’t come easy.

Sam noticed that in the last three weeks without him Gabriel had lost some weight. He knew he had to fix that but that could wait for now. He asked, “I was wondering if you’ll be free for Christmas vacation? I want to take you and Cas home to spend it with my family.”

Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck and replied, “I… don’t know, Sammy. Last time I went I fucked your life up.”

Sam sighed, “Look Dad left, Mom would like the company and Annie…She’s beside herself missing her Loki. She thinks we broke up and all she does is cry when I’m home because you didn’t come with me.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand why she is so attached to me. Really I don’t.”

Sam sighed, “Just come home for Christmas with me?”

Gabriel groaned, “You and those puppy dog eyes… All right, Samoose. Fine you win. I’ll go. But I have to take my Corgi with me. If Cassie goes I have no one to watch him.”

Sam knelt next to his wet lover and kissed him hard on the lips and replied, “Thanks, Shortstuff. You can bring the dog.”

Gabriel groaned, “Yeah. You’re welcome now get outa here so I can get some work done.”

Sam replied, “OK. Great! Will you be free Friday night?”

Gabriel sighed, “I hope so, Sam-a-lama. It’s been a long boring 3 weeks.” 

Sam knelt on the floor and kissed the older man on the lips and said, “I miss you, Gabe.”

Gabriel replied, “I miss you too, Sammy.” When Sam left he went back to work under the sink. About a week later it was Christmas vacation and he was packing for a week. He had told his boss he wanted the week because he hadn’t had a real vacation since he started working for the college. He wasn’t sure if this visit would be torture or pleasure but Sam was going to be with him. There was that at least. The night before he had baked some deserts for Sam’s family. He made a carrot cake, a Death by chocolate cake, and a Carmel cheesecake. He didn’t really have time to get any presents but he managed to get Sam and Mary Ann something. Mary Ann he got a white stuffed bunny, couple of children’s books, and a necklace with a heart shaped stone the color of his eyes. Sam he managed to find a few rare law books he hoped the younger man didn’t have. Cassie he bought a few new shirts and ties for.

Sam bought everyone presents and put Gabe’s name on the ones to his family since he knew the older man just didn’t have the time to go shopping nor did he know what anyone would like. He smiled when he noticed Gabe got him and Mary Ann something. He chuckled, “Well we aren’t going have to worry about sweets for after dinner coffees are we, Shortcake?”

Gabriel blushed and stammered, “I couldn’t get gifts so I just figured I’d do some baking for everyone. I do something wrong?”

Sam kissed the top of Gabe’s head and replied, “No. I told mom you would probably be baking up a storm so she didn’t have to worry about deserts.” He packed the rest of their gifts and the cakes in the car… He suddenly wondered where they were going to fit Cas.. in a Volkswagen bug? So they put everything as packed in as possible in the trunk. Then the 3 cakes were put behind the driver’s seat on the floor and seat while Gabriel had to squeeze in the passenger side back seat. Then Gabe had his Corgi Max on his lap the whole drive. Cas was driving while Sam rode shotgun. 

When Gabriel got stuck in the backseat he found it funny that they took his car and he wasn’t driving. He was glad he trusted Cassie to drive his car. He just leaned back against the seat with his head against the window with a hand resting on his round belly. He fell asleep while listening to Sam and Cassie chatting about classes. He woke up when Sam was shaking him sometime later and realized they were there. He realized he must have really been tired and knew he was working himself to hard. He was aching and stiff from being in the small backseat. He grumbled, “Next time we’re taking you damn Lincoln. It may look like a pimp mobile but at least there is room to move in the backseat.” He watched a little brown haired blur run for the house and wrap around his legs.

Mary Ann ran out of Grammy’s arms and down the stairs as soon as she saw the short man get out of the car. She watched him stretched his back which pushed his round belly out and knew it was her Loki. She ran over to Gabriel yelling, “LOKI! You home!” She ran right into his front and heard him make a surprised squeek before he placed a hand on her shoulders. 

Gabriel wasn’t all that surprised that in her rush to get to him Mary Ann ran right into his groin and boy that stung. He put a hand on her shoulder and squeaked, “Hey, Pumpkin. Miss me?”

Mary Ann smacked his belly and said, “Why you not come sooner?”

Gabriel rubbed his belly where she smacked him and replied, “Work kept me busy. I was lucky I got the holiday off. Oh Cassie… This is Mary Ann. Everyone calls her Annie. Annie this is my brother Castiel.”

Mary giggled, “He looks like Colombo.” She looked at Loki’s taller brother and noticed they were totally different. Her Loki was short and soft while his brother was tall and hard like her daddy. 

Castiel replied, “This is Sam’s daughter that is so attached to you? She is… a charmer. You can call me Cas if you want to Annie. Everyone else does.”

Mary clutched at Gabe’s pants and stammered, “OK.” 

Gabriel took one of the cakes, and Mary Ann’s hand as they went in the house. He watched Cassie and Mary take a cake and Sam got all the presents. He set the cake down on the counter in the kitchen and let Mary Ann drag him into the living room. He sat in the rocker and she crawled in his lap. He wrapped an arm around her back as she curled up against his shoulder and clutched at his shirt. He noticed she was starting to shake. He asked,” What’s wrong, Pumpkin?”

Mary Ann sobbed, “I was worried I not see you again. You not come back with daddy.”

Gabriel ran fingers through his hair and groaned, “You thought I had left you. I’m sorry. My job may be a lousy one but it keeps me busy and I rarely ever get a whole weekend off. I have Saturdays off but have to be back in work by Sunday. It’s silly for me to come all the way out here just to turn around and go back. Lately I’ve been working so many hours I just fall into bed without even seeing Sam.”

Mary Ann stammered, “You not break up?”

Gabriel snorted, “No. We just haven’t had time for each other lately. People have been breaking shit left and right on campus. It’s like they are trying to keep us apart.”

Sam said, “They probably are. They haven’t liked us being together since the beginning because it took me off the market. I guess it’s better than when they used to throw food at you. At least it’s something you can deal with and fix. I’ve heard some of the crap they say about you. You don’t have to act like it doesn’t happen. I just tell them where to stick their opinions. Just because they don’t find you attractive doesn’t mean I don’t.”

Mary Ann proudly said, “Loki cute. I love him.”

Sam chuckled, “I know you do and he loves you too. He may never say it but I know he does. Ok? Beside if at any time something did happen that we broke up I wouldn’t keep Gabe from seeing you. I couldn’t bear the sad faces you’d give me. It was hard enough lately because he was working.”

Suddenly Mary Ann noticed the white and tan short legged dog sitting by Loki’s feet. She asked, “What’s it’s name?”

Gabriel looked down to where she was pointing and laughed, “Oh that’s Maxie. I couldn’t leave him home alone for a week. My apartment would be a disaster.”

Sam said, “I took him for a walk and he did both so he should be good for a while.”

Gabriel replied, “Thanks, Sammy.”

Mary Ann asked, “When we live with Loki?”

Sam replied, “After I’m done with college and get a decent job. Then we can find a nice house for all of us.”

Gabriel said, “I have a decent sized apartment with 2 bedrooms. I can turn one into a bedroom for Pumpkin here….That’s if you really want to move in with me. If not that’s fine…”

Sam replied, “I didn’t think you wanted me to move in your apartment. That’s you private sanctuary after all.”

Gabriel stammered, “No. I just wasn’t sure if you’d want the stigma of living with me… I mean you have enough trouble just dating me…”

Sam leaned down and kissed Gabe’s lips and replied, “I’ll think about it.”

Mary Ann asked, “Can I? Please?”

Sam replied, “Once we have everything settled then we’ll come get you ok?” He had never realized that Gabe had simply been afraid to ask him to move in. He should have figured it out before based on everything he knows about his lover. 

Gabriel smiled and replied, “OK. You can move in whenever you want too, Samoose.” He couldn’t help but be a bit giddy because he would have a family. He was wanted as part of this lovely family. When it was time to go to bed he stripped to his boxers and didn’t bother with a tank anymore because Sam likes skin to skin contact since they started having sex. He fell asleep with Sam spooned behind him. In the morning he was alone again and he figured Sam went for his run as usual. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over onto his back to Mary Ann standing next to the bed like she did the first morning they met. He yawned and held out his hand which she took. He asked, “What’s the matter, Pumpkin?”

Mary Ann stammered, “I miss you, Loki.” She then started to cry.

Gabriel gently tugged her arm and coaxed, “Awe. It’s all right. I’m sorry. Come’re, Pumpkin. That’s a girl.” She got on the bed and curled against his side. He felt her small hand tugging at the hair on his belly but tried to ignore it. He ran his fingers up and down her arm over her sleeve of her nightgown. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have such a wonderful family. He kissed the top of her head and entwined the fingers of his free hand with hers that was pulling on his chest hair.  
Mary Ann noticed a long scar along his arm and asked, “Loki? What this?”

Gabriel looked at where she was rubbing his arm and murmured, “It’s very old. It’s nothing you need to worry about. Someday maybe I’ll tell you but you are really too young right now.” He knew there was a matching scar on his other arm from when he tried to commit suicide by cutting his arteries so he’d bleed to death.

Mary Ann asked, “Promise you ok?”

Gabriel squeezed her hand and replied, “Yeah. I’m more than ok. I’m actually happy.” Anyone who truly knew him would realize that happiness was a truly rare thing for him to feel.

Mary Ann asked, “Happy?”

Gabriel laughed, “Yeah kiddo. You make me happy.”

Mary Ann said, “You make me happy too, Loki.”

Gabriel replied, “Good.”

Mary Ann asked, “Why you so soft and squishy, Loki?”

Gabriel mumbled, “Because I’m a fat old man. Luckily your daddy likes me that way.”

Mary Ann poked and prodded his belly before resting her head on it. She laughed as it growled and gurgled. She giggled, “I like it too. It nice pillow and makes funny noises.”

Gabriel was about to reply when he heard Sam laughing. He snorted, “Leave it to your little minx to like the noises my stomach makes when I’m hungry.”

Mary Ann giggled, “I love you, Loki.”

Gabriel sighed, “Yeah I know. Back at ya, kiddo.” Before he knew it he had a curly mess of brown curls against his temple and a small head against his neck on one side. He started laughing when she started kissing his neck. He chuckled, “You cheeky little minx. I can tell you’re Sam kid. You both have unique ways of showing your affection.” He knew it wasn’t anything more than affection and it didn’t surprise him she would be unique like her father. Sammy loved to show his affection by feeding him and rubbing his overstuffed belly while Mary Ann liked kissing and nuzzling his neck.

Mary Ann nuzzled and kissed his neck. She loved his laugh. She just loved him. She never planned on loving this one as much as she did her daddy but she does. She couldn’t wait until they could finally live together and she’d be with both her daddy and papa. She said, “I love you, papa. You love me?”

Gabriel had never known anyone to tell him they love him as many times as she had since crawling in bed with him. He replied, “Yeah, Pumpkin. I do.” He felt the bed dip and looked to his other side where a freshly showered Sam got in next him. He smirked and said, “Now my life is complete. I have a beautiful man and a lovely lady in my bed. Doesn’t get any better than this.”

Sam laughed, “Now whose being cheeky.”

Gabriel teased, “Oh you wound me. It’s all true. I swear.” He started howling in laughter when both father and daughter decided to gang up on him and tickle him. He eventually choked, “UNCLE. I give up! Stop!” He had never had so much fun in his life nor had he ever been this happy. All his mornings were pretty much the same for the next week. He could get used to feeling so loved and that scared him.


	14. Christmas Day

Christmas Day Gabriel was woken up to a 4 year old bouncing on the bed and flopping on top of him when he finally woke up. He ran a hand over his face and groaned, “What time is it?”

Sam grunted, “6 AM on Christmas Day.”

Gabriel groaned, “Oh. Ok.” He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep but he should have realized a 4 year old on Christmas morning does not give up.

Mary Ann chirped, “Daddy! Loki! Get up! Santa was here!” She flopped right between both parents and pretty much mauled the smaller man with kisses and nuzzles.

Gabriel groaned, “OK. OK. I’m up.” He got out of bed and found a pair of yoga pants and a tee-shirt before letting Mary Ann drag him downstairs. He was half asleep and stumbled in the kitchen to find coffee already on.

Castiel looked at Gabriel, handed the older man a cup of coffee and said, “Morning, Brother. I walked Max for you. Mary said the rest of the family will be here around noon for brunch and present opening.” He watched his brother’s shirt ride up as the older man scratched his belly and realized Gabriel had gained quite a bit of weight adding 6 inches to his belly size since meeting Sam but at least he finally seemed happy. Sam was happy as well because his roommate was one of the unusual people that liked fatter men that love to eat. He was very glad they had found each other.

Gabriel yawned and scratched his belly causing his shirt to get hiked up. He mumbled, “Thanks, Cassie.” He heard Mary Ann run into the kitchen and felt her mold to his backside. He felt her move to his one side and slip a hand under his tee-shirt to rest on his bare stomach. He had finally started getting used her need to touch his bare belly whenever she wanted too. He didn’t really mind as long a she wasn’t pinching him, in fact he rather liked the attention she gives him. He found it funny that for a man that was embarrassed for so long about his weight he sure relishes any attention he gets on his pot belly now. He loved having his belly rubbed like a dog and purred like a cat. He used to hate that about himself but Sam finds it adorable.

Mary Ann came to the kitchen looking for her papa and hid behind him. She shyly said, “Hi, Unca Cas.”She slid to Loki’s side and slipped a hand up his loose tee-shirt to rest on the curve of his soft belly. She felt his free arm wrap around her shoulders.   
Castiel knelt in front of Mary Ann and replied, “Morning, Annie. Everyone will be coming over for presents and food in a few hours.” He stood back up when he saw Sam walk in the room. He handed him a cup of coffee as well. 

Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel and kissed the older man’s neck and shoulder while rubbing his belly before going to Cas to take the offered cup of coffee. He kissed his lover on the lips after that and sat at the kitchen table. He said, “Thanks, Cas. Morning, grumpy.”

Gabriel snorted, “You think you’re funny, huh? Yeah good guess I’m not a morning person. It’s a wonder I can get up to go to work.” He saw Sam stand up and come over to wrap arms around him again. He felt the younger man gently grinding against his backside while gently kissing his neck and collar bone. He also felt his lover’s hands slip up to rub gentle circles on his belly under his shirt.

Sam chuckled, “That’s all right. I love you anyway, even if you are a grumpy old man in the morning. In all honestly you are cute in sleepy mode with your messed up hair, shirt hiked up so that sexy round belly shows, and the grumpy face I just want to kiss away. Although I like it much better that you stopped wearing a shirt to bed because I can rub your belly any time that I want too now.”

Gabriel snorted, “You are probably the only one that finds me and my fat belly sexy not that I’m complaining. You are a weird one Sam Winchester but I’m happy with our arrangement.”

Sam murmured in Gabe’s ear, “You love getting your belly patted any time, kneaded during love making, and rubbed after I feed you. Oh yes. I noticed the one place you love being touched is the thing you used to hate most about yourself. That’s a pleasant irony, my love. I love it when you purr, get a blissed out look on your face, or just simply moan in pleasure over being touched there. You are very content even just to have a hand anywhere on your belly even in sleep.”

By now Gabriel was blushing furiously and grateful Cas and the kid couldn’t hear what Sam was saying. He was getting aroused a bit and blushed even more afraid he’d get a hard on and have to explain that next. At times he wished he was impotent again so he didn’t get embarrassing…. Rises from his anatomy at very inappropriate times. He whispered, “OK. You got me. I’m an attention whore when it comes to my fat belly but if you don’t stop that train of thought we are both going to have some explaining to do.” He heard the quiet chuckle Sam gave before kissing his neck one more time and rubbing his belly before going back to innocently sit at the table with a grin on his face. He thought ‘You cheeky bastard. You knew I would get horny and excited from that.’  
Sam grinned and said, “Another thing I love about you is that you get so easily flustered and you look adorable when you are.” He held out his hand and pulled the older man between his legs when their fingers entwined. He lifted the older man’s tee-shirt just a little so he could kiss the softest and roundest part of his lover’s belly.

Castiel sighed, “You two are so inappropriate. I hate to see when Annie starts growing up and realizing what you two are doing.” He saw Annie just sit at the table like nothing was going on at all.

Gabriel drawled, “I don’t see the problem as long as we aren’t doing anything she shouldn’t know about yet. It’s not like we are making love right in front of her after all.”

Castiel replied, “No but she does crawl into bed with you. How do you explain it if you are naked when she does?”

Gabriel replied, “Since coming here I always make sure I have boxers on before I go to sleep just in case she crawls in the bed in the middle of the night. I may be unaccustomed to having children around me but I am not completely oblivious to certain things, Bro.”

Castiel replied, “I hope so. Brother. I will admit you will make a good mom though.”

Gabriel drawled, “Funny, Cassie.”

Sam laughed, “He is right. You are kind of the motherly type, Gabe.”

Gabriel groaned, “God why is everyone trying to annoy me today. Can’t wait until Cassie meets Dean-o though. That should be interesting. Think the two of you will get along swimmingly. I just hope Johnny boy doesn’t show up. It wasn’t a very nice experience meeting him. I know he’s your father Sammy but he didn’t like me very much.”

Sam replied, “I know, Gabe. Mom promised he won’t be coming. She wants a fun holiday. Not a warzone.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m sorry. I wound up making you chose between your father and me without even meaning too. That’s not right.”

Sam grasped both Gabe’s hands and replied, “No. Don’t even think any of this is your fault. Dad is a miserable old homophobic bigot. If he wanted to see me he could have made the effort to be civil with you. IF he can’t accept us then I’m sorry that‘s too bad. I don’t need him beating down the man I love just because he’s fat, a man or gay. It’s none of my father’s business whom I date. Everyone else likes you and that’s what matters.”

Gabriel sighed, “Maybe but I still feel bad that I came between you and your father.”

Sam sighed, “If anyone did that it was him and not you. He put a wedge between us when he couldn’t accept you as my lover. It’s all on him.”

Mary came in to the kitchen at this point and replied, “Sam is right. The wedge is John’s fault not yours, Gabriel. You were just a means to an end for him. He never really liked Sam. His favorite was always Dean. Besides I can’t understand how anyone wouldn’t like you. You are just adorable.” She pinched his cheek and smiled as she made him blush. 

Gabriel rubbed his cheek and squeaked, “I’m not adorable.I’m..”

Sam kissed Gabe firmly and said, “Shut up. It’s Christmas. It’s supposed to be a happy day. Let’s not get into that today ok?”

Gabriel sighed, “All right. Sorry.” He let Sam wrap his arms around him and burrowed his head against the younger man’s chest. When they parted he met his lover’s lips halfway in another kiss before sitting down at the table to drink his coffee. After his coffee he went upstairs to shower and dress. He chose to wear his cranberry velvet button up shirt, black wide legged jeans, and short brown boots. He was glad he managed to find another one of that shirt in a bigger size since he was too fat to fit in the old one he used to wear. He was combing his hair when he felt a small hand slip under his shirt to rest on his belly. He looked down to find Mary Ann smiling up at him. He said, “Hey, Pumpkin. What’s up?”

Mary Ann said, “Unca Dean likes Unca Cas. He’s googling him..”

Gabriel laughed, “Oh? Is he now? Well this ought to be interesting.” He figured Dean was Cassie’s type but he never would have pegged Dean for liking men. He followed Mary Anne downstairs and teased, “Hey, Dean-o! I hear you and Cassie are getting along pretty well. Don’t go jumping right into bed with him, Cassie. Make sure you have a commitment first!” He ducked as Dean threw some lettuce at him and blushed bright pink. He giggled and went in the other room.

Dean growled, “That short fat little…”

Castiel said, “Dean. My brother means well. He just wants to protect me from being hurt like he was years ago.”

Dean stammered, “Wait a minute… Gabriel is…your brother?”

Castiel replied, “I thought you knew that…. Why would I be here?”

Dean asked, “Didn’t Sam invite you? Isn’t he your roommate? Oh wait… Sam did say you were related to that short pain in the ass. I just forgot about it.”

Castiel sighed, “Yes. But I would not have come if my brother didn’t as well. I refuse to leave him alone for a holiday just so I can have a good time. He gets very depressed on holidays. We are the only two of our family that stick together through the good and the bad. IF I hadn’t been by his side he would have died many years ago. Our parents and elder brothers do not care to associate with us. In fact they used to beat up Gabriel because he was openly gay and tiny compared to them.”

Dean sighed, “Dude that little pain in the ass is going to be my brother-in-law. Heaven help me.”

Castiel replied, “Actually I think Sam is a pain in Gabriel’s ass because my brother is the bottom.”

Dean groaned, “AAAh, Cas. Too much information. I don’t want to know who sticks what where man.”

Castiel replied, “If it’s any conciliation I prefer to be a bottom as well.”

Dean just groaned and walked out of the room. Well he just got his answer to whether Cas liked guys or not but what a way to find out. He did NOT want to know about his brother’s sex life. He found Gabriel sitting in the rocker with Mary Ann on his lap reading her a story. He said, “Hey, Pudgy? Is your brother single?”

Gabriel laughed, Yeah, Dean-o. You plan on getting his attention?”

Dean replied, “Maybe.”

Gabriel went serious and replied, “IF you get involved with my brother… You had better NOT hurt him, Dean-o. If you ever hurt Cassie beyond normal relationship stuff I will hunt you down. I will not have my baby bro as fucked up as I am over anyone. Do we have an understanding?”

Dean replied, “Totally.”

Gabriel smiled and replied, “OK. Good.” He went back to reading Mary Ann the story he was reading before Dean stopped him. He was going to take Maxie out but he noticed Sam go to do it and mouthed ‘thank you’ before going back to reading.

Mary Ann said, “Like your voice. It’s nice.”

Gabriel chuckled, “IT’s squeaky and raspy at the same time. Sound like a child’s. How is that nice?”

Mary Ann replied, “I like it.”

Gabriel sighed, “OK. Fine. IF you find it comforting that’s ok.”Lunch consisted of Ham, macaroni and potato salad, and coleslaw. After they had a late lunch he followed everyone in to the living room for presents. He had to laugh that Crowley bought everyone of them a gold pendant representing their animal nickname on it so therefore he got a possum. He wondered where the man found these nice pendants. Must have been a bitch tracking down one for everyone of them. Sammy got him a new gold bracelet with ‘My name is Gabriel Novak” on it. He cracked up when he turned it over. On the back was engraved ‘I belong to Sam Winchester’ in bold letters. It was totally true too. From Dean he got a leather bracelet with pride colored beads woven in it. From Cassie he got a Gold ring with Pride enamel on it and a couple of baking books. From Bobby, Ellen, and Jo he got more cooking books. Mary got him an orange scarf and set of gloves and a cooking book. Even Mary Ann got him a Pride lapel pin that looked like a teddy bear with the help of Mary. He pinned it on the lapel of his dress shirt.

Sam got books from Bobby. Ellen, Jo, and Dean. He got a moose pendant from Crowley and a gold lawyer pin from Cas. Mary got him books and a brown scarf and set of gloves. Gabriel got him some rare law books.

Mary Ann was given a bunch of toys and children’s books but the 2 things she was most fond of were a white bunny, and a locket with a heart shaped stone the color of Loki’s eyes and a picture of him in it. Both items she got from her papa. She gave him a big kiss and parked herself on the floor next to his legs playing with her toys. She let him put the necklace on her neck and ran around with the bunny in her arms. Her uncle Dean got her a headset with earphones and few cassette tapes. 

Gabriel watched everyone open their presents and laughed when he was handed a few more after he saw they were for Max. Mary, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and all got Maxie treats. Dean got him a big knucklebone and Crowley got the dog a big rawhide bone. Sam got him a toy dragon with squeakers galore in it. Mary got the dog a couple of plastic animal squeaky toys and a bag of dingo bones just his size. Mary Ann gave the doggie a bowtie in Pride colors that Mary helped her get. Cassie got Maxie a new leather color with a name tag with his owner’s name and cell number on the back incase he ever got lost. He stammered, “Thank you. I never expected presents from any of you really and sure as hell not a bunch for Maxie.”

Mary said, “You are family now, Gabriel. That includes Max as well because he was your family as well. You make my Sam very happy why shouldn’t we take care of you like we do each other? Now I believe Cas will be family as well because my Dean has become quite fond of your younger brother today.”

Gabriel replied, “Cassie will treat Dean right. When my brother chooses someone he doesn’t give up easily. He’s just the opposite of me. I run from relationship while he takes them head on.”

Mary replied, “Dean will treat Cas right or I will be on his ass. You have no worries there. I don’t allow my boys to treat people like their father does especially not their girlfriends or boyfriends. While it’s an unsettling surprise that both of my boys like men I am willing to adjust to that fact while John just hates gays in general and will not accept it.”

Gabriel replied, “Thanks…. I think.”

Mary replied, “Besides I’ve never seen my granddaughter love anyone more than she does you. That counts for something in my book.” She went over and kissed the top of Gabe’s head before going to start dinner. She was happy that Sam had finally found someone that both he and Mary Ann loved so much even if it was a short, fat, sarcastic, little man. He was growing on her and it actually got to be too quiet when they went back to the college. Well… Except for Mary Ann’s constant sobbing over her papa and daddy leaving.

Gabriel was a little self conscious of how much he ate but one look from Sam and a hand cupping his lower belly under the table chased the feeling away. He was amazed at the spread of food for dinner. There was turkey, stuffing, cranberry relish, potatoes, sweet potatoes, lamb, and broccoli in a cheese sauce. He was definitely stuffed by the end of dinner and really needed a belly rub but he didn’t say anything. He said, “This was a wonderful dinner. I’ve never felt so accepted in my life. That means a lot to someone like me. Thank you, Mary. Thanks to all of you really.”

Crowley teased. “Hey that’s what family is about, Possum. This is a real family. One that cares about its members no matter what they are. We decided we liked you so now you’re stuck with us.”

Gabriel replied, “I’d rather be stuck with you than my own family of hypocrites. I LIKE this family.” 

Crowley replied, “Good. Now that we have that settled. When are boys going to tie the knot?”

Gabriel spit out the water he was drinking in shock truly grateful the table had been cleared of food. He spurted, “I’m so sorry, Mary. Crowley threw me for a loop…I don’t even know how the hell to answer that one. I hadn’t even thought about it.” His voice was reaching the squeak that happens when he panics.

Sam could tell Gabriel was in a panic. He wrapped and arm around the older man’s shoulders and replied, “We haven’t even moved in together yet or had to discuss anything like that in much detail. We’re taking it one day at a time.”

Mary asked, “Don’t you want to get married, Sam? Gays can do that now.”

Sam replied, “Yes I would like to but…only if that’s what Gabe wants. I’m not going to push him into something he doesn’t want to do or that he simply isn’t ready for yet. Besides we don’t have to be married to have a happy and healthy relationship. I’ve learned with my lovely Gabriel that if you push too hard with certain things it drives him…away. The last thing I want to do is loose my one happy relationship just because of a marriage certificate.”

Mary asked, “What if you two don’t get married and something happens to you? Who will take care of Annie?”

Sam sighed, “There are ways around a marriage certificate. As long as Gabe is willing to raise Annie if anything happens I can get paperwork drawn up to make him her godfather, guardian or he can even adopt her. I’m not really worried about it right now. I am going to be a lawyer, mom.”

Gabriel stammered, “I’m not good enough to marry Sammy. I’m just not worth the paper. Excuse me.” He got up and went to Sam’s room and fell on the bed sobbing. He just wasn’t worth the piece of paper or Sam getting legally tied to someone like him. He felt a tiny body curl up next to his belly on the bed. He felt two small hands slip under his shirt and rest there. He was a little comforted by Mary Ann’s affection and wrapped his on arm around her holding her close while he cried.


	15. Explinations

Sam watched Gabriel leave and swore, “Dammit. Thanks so much, Crowley. This will take weeks to fix.”

Crowley shrugged, “It was a totally legit question.”

Sam groaned, “NOT when you don’t understand Gabriel. I could tell he was starting to panic. I was hoping I could diffuse the situation by answering for us.”

Mary said, “Why don’t you all go in the living room for a while. I think I need to have a talk with my son.” She watched as they all filed out except Castiel and Sam. She said, “Will someone please explain to me what that was about?”

Castiel said, “My brother has very low self esteem and an even lower opinion of his self worth. He doesn’t believe he is worthy of someone like Sam. He thinks he should have a partner that beats him and treats him like he’s dirt. That’s what our family told him and after the relationship he had right after he left home he believed it.”

Mary said, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t asking to be cruel or imply he wasn’t good enough. I just had some legit concerns about my granddaughter’s well being if something happens to Sam.”

Castiel replied, “I understand, Mary. The issue is that Gabriel has a very fragile mind and can’t understand why someone as wonderful and squared away like Sam would want as he puts it ‘a train wreck’ like him.” He used air quotes to elaborate Gabriel’s words.  
Mary asked, “Why wouldn’t someone want him as part of their lives? He’s a sweet man. He’s wonderful with children.”

Castiel replied, “He’s had nothing but heartache most of his life and I have had to pick up the pieces. He almost died on me 4 times because of it and I was the only person that has protected him both from the world and himself for years. Our parents disowned him because he is openly gay and threw him out when he was 16. His only girlfriend beat and badgered him. She then had her new boyfriend rape him repeatedly until she was tired of him. Then she left because ‘he was to fat and whined too much about being fucked up the ass by a giant cock, which was all he was good for anyway’ and he hasn’t had anyone since until Sam.” He used air quotes for Kali’s saying as well.

Sam growled, “I would have killed her.”

Castiel replied, “I almost did. When I went to see my bother the next morning he was an emotional wreck, had black and blues all over his body and I could tell he was bleeding from his rectum. After he broke down and told me what happened I drug him to the hospital to be checked out. I could have killed both Kali and her bastard rapist boyfriend but Gabriel wouldn’t let me do anything because he was convinced he deserved what happened to him. Soon after that bitch threw him out and he decided to move by me.”  
Sam asked, “Why would he possibly think he deserved to be beaten and raped?”

Castiel sighed, “I don’t like to tell my bother’s secrets but you are his family now and need to know certain things that trigger him into a downward spiral or you’ll just keep doing it. He won’t tell you himself. Our parents were cruel to him because he was short and fat. All of our other siblings are tall and thin including myself. He did not fit in with the rest of us because of that and his personality was way less serious and more fun loving. You have caught glimpses of that personality but our mother tried to destroy that about Gabriel. She hated his pranks and tricks he would play on people so she let our older brothers try to beat it out of him. I loved him regardless of what he did or was since I was a child.”

Mary asked, “How can a mother be so cruel to her child?”

Castiel sighed, “Naomi always was cold heart. Gabriel describes her as a bitch and I am sorry but I agree with him. She treated him with disdain and put him down at every turn. She is the reason for most of my brother’s mental problems. She was always telling him he was fat, stupid, short, ugly, childish, and not worthy to be her son. He had anxiety and depression as long I have known him but it got worse as the years progressed. He brought his boyfriend home one day when he was 16 years old and declared he was gay. She promptly disowned him and threw him out telling him he was sick and twisted. After that his boyfriend dumped him and he got tangled up with Kali. She was abusive and degraded him as well but he stayed because he felt he deserved it for being gay. When I was old enough to leave I found my brother and shortly after Kali started beating him. I put him through trade school to be a maintenance man in hopes he would leave that woman. He learned how to do plumbing, basic electrical work, and a few other useful things before getting a job as a janitor at a local high school. Then I started law school. After 4 years I came here and I moved onto campus to finish my law degree here. Then a couple years ago Kali threw him out and he moved here to be close to me and got a job as the maintenance man at the college. I knew why he came to me. I am the only person he could always rely on to love him and treat him like he matters.”

Mary said, “How can anyone be so cruel to someone. I never could understand people like that but then John is like that so who am I to talk.”

Sam said, “I love him, Cas. I don’t treat him badly do I?”

Castiel replied, “No. You treat him like he is the most wonderful man in the world. You are very good for him but he doesn’t think he deserves someone so loving, accepting and kind as you are. He’s always waiting for you to change your mind and dump him because he’s too fat, ugly, or just because he’s a lowly blue collar worker that makes minimum wage. I know you never considered this but you will be a lawyer in a couple of years and then you’ll start making good money. Gabriel looks at it that at that point you’ll want someone with the same social status and class as you and not be associated with someone beneath you like him. Before you ask those are not my words they are his words. My brother tells me everything but he is too afraid of losing you to talk to you about what’s bothering him.”

Sam replied, “I would never do that to him, Cas. Hell my brother is ‘beneath me’ as a mechanic and Bobby is a junk yard owner. I’m not going to drop them because of it. I have no problem with Gabe’s profession. It has never been an issue for me. I wouldn’t care if he was a sewer worker as long as he was mine. I love him for who he is to me and not for what he does to earn a living.”

Castiel replied, “I know and have been trying to get that through to my brother but he is stubborn. He will never leave you because you are everything to him but I am uncertain if he will ever accept you will not leave him either. Understand that my brother can’t know I’ve told you all of this… He will not take it well because he trusts me to keep his secrets but you needed some of this information to try and understand how his mind works better and I know he would not have told you on his own because he is too afraid to do so.”

Sam asked, “How did he get the nickname Loki?”

Castiel replied, “He used to call himself the trickster when we were growing up. The Norse god called that was Loki so I started teasing him with the name. Then Kali called him it because she just did not like the name Gabriel because it was too angelic.”

Sam asked, “Is it all right if Annie calls him that?”

Castiel replied, “Yes. If it wasn’t he would have asked her to use a different name as his nickname. He knows she calls him that because she loves him and wants a name just between them. I hope you understand my brother adores your daughter. If you ever took her away from him it would devastate him. The only thing he’s ever regretted about being gay is he loves children and wanted them. You have given him a chance to have a family that he never even dreamed he’d get. He found a man he loves with a child he adores. It terrifies the hell out of him because he is so afraid it’s a dream and he’ll wake up alone and still miserable.”

Sam sighed, “Even if something happened to split us up which I hope it doesn’t but if it happened I would never keep Annie from him. That would just be cruel to both of them. Annie adores him as if he was her mom and part of her life since she was born. I could never punish either of them like that even if I was angry with him. I can tell their bond is even stronger than mine is with her. As much as I am a little jealous I understand why. I’m not as in tune with affection and compassion as Gabe is for her. I also had been looking for someone who would bond with her like Gabe has just in case something happened to me someday I want her to be with someone she loves and trusts. Not some relative that she knows but has no real experience. It is a lot smother if the person who takes her is someone she’s lived with for years and loves like a mom or dad. I intend to make Gabriel her godfather and if he wants to in time he can adopt her. I’d marry him in a heartbeat if he was willing to marry me.”

Castiel replied, “You should tell him about those things. He may start to realize this is not a fling. He wants a long term commitment but because he loves you so much he’s willing to accept whatever type of relationship you are willing to give him. He thinks you’d never stay with him in the long term and you should talk to him, Sam.”

Sam sighed, “I guess I should have a heart to heart with him. I thought he understood that I want a long term relationship. I wouldn’t have brought him home to introduce him to my family if I didn’t intend to stay with him. I also never would have let him get close to Annie if we weren’t going to stay together.”

Castiel replied, “Gabriel was living with Kali for 10 years and she never took him home to meet her family or anything. He really doesn’t understand what a long term relationship truly is because of her.”

Sam sighed, “All right. I’ll talk to him and try to explain things from my point of view. I hope you know I truly do love your brother.”

Castiel replied, “I know you do, Sam. If you didn’t I would have dealt with you a long time ago because I refuse to see Gabriel hurt by another person remotely like Kali. She did a lot of damage to him even though he didn’t really love her. She almost destroyed my brother. I was the one that had to pick up the pieces. He has never been the same but with you he’s started to heal. He’ll never be the brother I had when I was a child but he’s starting to act more like him. Because of you my brother is happy for the first time in his life and I couldn’t take that way.”

Sam said, “I think I’m going to go check on him.” He went upstairs and heard voices coming from his old bedroom and realized it was Annie with Gabriel. He just decided to let them have their time together and check again later. He took Max for a walk while he waited.


	16. Promises

When Gabriel finally stopped sobbing he realized Mary Ann was rubbing his belly trying to sooth him. He croaked, “Sorry. I must be a real downer for you. I’m emotionally unstable, miserable, and a terrible father.”

Mary Ann replied, “No, Loki. Love you. You good papa. Sweet. Kind. Funny. Soft. Snuggle bunny.” She slid her one arm around his side to his back in a half hug while the other one continued rubbing his belly. 

Even Gabriel had to chuckle, “Snuggle bunny? Never been called that before.” He felt her change positions and just held her close in a mutual hug. 

Mary Ann smiled and replied, “You like soft fuzzy fluffy snuggle bunny. Want to cuddle you all the time.” His pot belly made him soft and fluffy, his soft blonde chest hair made him fuzzy and she loved that he like to snuggle. Her daddy was just the opposite and as much as she loved him she needed to cuddle. She was a child after all and Loki was the perfect parent for her in the cuddling department.

Gabriel still couldn’t figure out how he got so lucky with Sam and Mary Ann. He kissed the top of her head and hoped he wouldn’t lose them. He loved them so much that he knew it would destroy him to lose them. He used to find it annoying to be poked in the belly but now when Mary Ann did it he just smiled in amusement because he had gotten used to it. He sighed, “I’ll be all right, Pumpkin. Just having a down day. You should probably go back down before someone comes looking for you.”

Mary Ann asked, “You come with me, Loki?”

Gabriel replied, “No. I’ll be down in a little while. You go ahead. I’ll be ok.”

Mary Ann hesitated but did as he asked and went back downstairs. When he didn’t come down in a while she went back up to check on him and found him sitting on the bathroom floor with a pocket knife against his wrist. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck sobbing, “No, Loki. Don leve me! Papa, please. I love you. Don leve me.”

Gabriel never expected Mary Ann to come back up looking for him again but he chastised himself for scaring her and let the pocket knife drop to the floor and wrapped his arms around her. He had been contemplating cutting himself but not killing himself but the child didn’t know the difference. So he lied to her. He stammered, “Shhh. It’s all right. I’m sorry I scared you. I wasn’t going to leave you. I promise. I was just going to cut a string off of my shirt that was annoying me and got lost in thought. I must have unconsciously moved my hand and didn’t notice.” Well it was a half truth anyway. He wasn’t going to kill himself and he did get lost in thought. He did have a loose string on his shirt as well. He knew better than try and kill himself at his boyfriend’s family home because he didn’t want them to think he was anymore of a basket case. Not to mention Cassie would kick his ass. Why he left the bathroom door open he wasn’t sure. He showed her the loose string and cut it off before folding up the pocket knife and putting it back in his pants pocket. Then he wrapped his arms around her again and she cuddled against him. His knees were bent and she rested between them and against his belly.

Mary Ann sobbed on his shirt until she was hiccupping. She loved him and couldn’t understand why he didn’t realized how much it would hurt her to lose him. She may only be a child but she didn’t believe his story. He had too many marks that look like cuts on his body. She had noticed them even though she didn’t say anything. He hid them well under his clothes because he always wore long sleeved shirts and long pants except for bed when he wore boxers and a tee-shirt. She stammered, “No. You have cuts and marks all over you.”

Gabriel gasped, “How did you..? Oh. Most of those were from an… abusive relationship I had before I met Sammy. My Ex used to like making me hurt any way she could. She liked to make sure to scar me so she could admire them later. She would beat me, cut me, burn me, do things to me I didn’t want that you can’t even understand yet. Yes a couple of the older sets are my fault but it was back before I met Sammy and you.” He wasn’t lying because Kali was physically abusive in many ways.

Mary Ann asked, “Why you let her?”

Gabriel sighed, “I’ll tell you in a few years when you can understand it. The short version is I felt I deserved it because I am Gay. My parents are homophobic and hate me. They drilled it into my head I am evil and deserve any pain I get because of what I am.”

Mary Ann asked, “You family like Grumps?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. Everyone but Cassie and my youngest sister Hannah. Although poor Hannah has her own problems. She’s 25 and has a son… Alphie. He’s about 5 now. She made a mistake and was thrown out like I was for having a child without a husband. I only know because Cassie tries to remain civil with our parents and it slipped out while they talked.” He had no idea why he was telling a 4 year old child all this shit but she’d probably forget it later anyway. 

Mary Ann asked, “I has a cousin?”

Gabriel chuckled, “On my side you have many cousins but you’ll never get to meet them because my family hates me. Alphie.. He’s the only one you may ever meet.”

Mary Ann asked, “You promise you never leve me?”

Gabriel sighed, “I can’t promise I won’t die someday but I promise not to leave you by my own choice. I will try not to do anything stupid. I promise to not leave if I can help it, ok?”

Mary Ann whispered, “OK, Papa.”

Gabriel replied, “Ok. Why don’t we go back downstairs?” He got a little nod against his chest and wiped her tears away with his thumbs before they got up off the floor and he took her hand. He went back downstairs with her and after a few minutes she went to play with Max. His crisis forgotten for the moment at least. He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him and gently rest on his belly and a chin on his head. He said, “Hey, Sammy.”

Sam asked, “You all right, Gabe?”

Gabriel sighed, “I’ll be all right. I have you and her after all. I can’t leave you two. After all who would comfort her if I wasn’t around?”

Sam replied, “Annie adores you. If anything happened to you I think she’d fall apart.”

Gabriel sighed, “I know. I don’t understand why I’m the focus of her affection but I am.”

Sam replied, “No one I’ve dated since her mom died has been able to bond with her like you have. It’s like you’ve always been a part of her life. I’m glad it was you though because you are the only one I have considered spending the rest of my life with. I just hope someday you will realize that.”

Gabriel replied, “I don’t plan on going anywhere. You treat me well and I am happy enough with you two. I am not getting beaten, burned, raped or emotionally abused. I have no reason to leave and every reason to stay.”

Sam replied, “But you are still depressed and afraid I’ll leave you.”

Gabriel sighed, “I…. can’t help it. I know right now you have no intention of it but… what happens if 5 or 10 years down the road you get sick of me and my bullshit? I’m fucked up in the head, Sammy. I can’t fix it. It’s to broken. I have tried. I am trying to control it but there is only so much I can do with Medication. The longer you know me the more you’ll realized how fucked up I really am.”

Sam kissed Gabriel’s ear and replied, “I love you. I was well aware you were messed up when I started dating you. I’m not going to dump you just because your anxiety gets out of hand or your depression turns you into a sobbing mess. Not even if the autism causes you to zone out and act weird. All I ask is that you let me in instead of pushing me away, Gabe. Let me know when you NEED me to be there for you. I’ve learned some of your tells but there are times when I still need to be told ‘Hey dumbass. I need you’ if you get my point.” 

Gabriel stammered, “I’m trying. It’s just hard. I’m so used to having to hide my feelings and problems from everyone that it’s hard to break down the walls I have built. To let myself open up to someone that means more to me than anything in the world. I don’t want you to run away, Sammy.”

Sam gently turned his lover around to face him and replied, “I promise I won’t run away.” He leaned down and kissed Gabriel firmly on the lips. He gave the shorter man a few more pecks for good measure before wrapping him in a hug. He felt the older man’s head settle against his shoulder and kissed the top of his smaller lover’s head.

Gabriel groaned, “I’m so short I feel like a kid compared to you.”

Sam chuckled, “That’s ok. You make a cute kid.”

Gabriel laughed, “Asshole.”

Sam kissed Gabe’s head again and replied, “What? I love you. I think that you being short in one of the many things that makes you adorable. I like that I can kiss the top of your head. I love wrapping my arms around you and rubbing your soft round belly. I just love you the way you are, Gabe. I wouldn’t want you any other way. Besides what you lost in height you made up for in other areas.”

Gabriel chuckled, “Yeah? You mean my ability to suck your dick? Or is it my fat soft ass that you like to pound so often?”

Sam replied, “Granted I love both of those qualities but those were not what I was referring too. I meant your love, devotion and compassion. How you have a heart of gold even though you try to hide it to keep from getting hurt. How you’ve accepted Annie as your daughter even though she isn’t your flesh and blood. You are a beautiful man inside and out. I love your looks but I love you for who you are in here as well.” He placed his hand flat against where Gabe’s heart is and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. After a few lazy kisses he just held the older man until Gabe pulled away.

Gabriel pulled back and stammered, “I wish I could just say it, Sammy.”

Sam kissed the shorter man’s forehead and replied, “It’s all right. I know you love me, Gabe. I can tell with how devoted you are to me and Annie, how you treat Annie like she’s your own child, how upset you get if something goes wrong when you are trying to do something for me. Also Cas told me. I know how close you two are and if Cas says you love me then you do. I know he wouldn’t lie to me.”

Gabriel replied, “You’re right. Cassie knows me better than I know myself and he told you the truth. I do, more than anything in the world. I’d usually be upset about Cassie blabbing but in this case I’m grateful he told you because I just can’t say it out loud. I hope someday I can say it but at least you know. I can’t even say it to Annie.. I’m too scared of getting hurt…” The last sentence wound up a pained whisper.

Sam leaned down and made the older man look in his eyes. He said, “Gabriel. Look at me. I know you are scared. It’s ok. I want nothing more than to hear you say you love me but if it doesn’t happen then I can live with it. I do hope someday you can at least tell Annie because she adores you and will need to hear you say it as she grows up. Children need to hear that their parents love them or they think you don’t love them. Can you promise to at least try to someday tell Annie you love her?”

Gabriel choked, “I’ll try, Sammy. I’ll try.”

Sam wiped the tears off Gabe’s cheeks with his thumbs and kissed his lips. He replied, “That’s all I ask.”


	17. Questions

Sam said, “Now why don’t we go join everyone having cake and I’ll get you a nice hot chocolate with a big slice of cake, ok?” 

Gabriel mumbled, “Ok, Sammy. Thanks.” He was surprised when Sam led him to the sofa and started feeding him the cake even though his family could walk in any minute. He started to calm down while he ate what Sam forked in his mouth. He found it very comforting to be fed this way by his lover.

Sam didn’t care if his family caught him feeding Gabriel like a child. He knew it calmed and soothed his lover when he did it. Right now the only thing that mattered was keeping Gabriel calm and content. He had chosen a big slice of Death by Chocolate knowing that was his lover’s favorite. He even ate a couple of bites and it was a delicious cake. Gabe was a very good baker and cook when he had the chance. When the cake was all gone he sat back and gently tugged Gabe to curl up on his chest. He gently ran a hand up and down the older man’s side of his belly and kissed his temple. He soothed, “I love you, Gabe. I’m very happy I met you. I’m not going anywhere. You are a good lover and father. I love you just the way you are no matter what.” He had learned a long time ago that certain things would sooth the older man when he was depressed or wound up. Reminding him he was loved and wanted was one of them. Holding him and giving gentle caresses was another. He felt the smaller man’s breathing start to deepen and smiled. He could tell Gabe needed to rest so he just let him sleep while he talked with his family that had finally followed him into the living room.

Dean was watching Gabriel sleep on Sam’s shoulder and asked, “Is he all right now?” He had been surprised his brother had fallen for an older man like the man now curled up in his arms. Their body types were completely different. Gabriel was short and fat while Sam was tall and thin. He was glad they were happy together but they were so different it surprised him. Usually a couple had things in common but the only things they seemed to have in common was Cas, their love for each other and Annie, and the feeder fetish. Yeah he knew Sammy liked to feed Gabriel and that it seemed to calm the older man down when he was upset. He had watched Sam feeding the shorter man the cake from the kitchen pass through. He was also aware the older man had been thinner before he met Sam and had gained weight because of Sam’s enjoyment of feeding him. Gabe had gained weight since she first met him and now he knew why but was confused as to why the smaller man seemed to like being fat. Hell he was confused as to why Sam liked a fat mate since the younger man was a health food and exercise nut.

Sam replied, “Yeah. He’s calmer now or he wouldn’t be sleeping.”

Dean sighed, “I’m not knocking him or anything. I’m just confused as to why you would pick a man like him. He’s short and…”

Sam sighed, “Fat? I like short fat men. I always have although I never really understood why seeing I’m the opposite. That’s not the only reason though. Gabe is loving, sweet, funny, kind, an excellent cook, very attentive in everything he does, is wonderful with Annie, and loyal to a fault. He loves kids and having fun whenever possible.”

Dean replied, “He’s not exactly….. Handsome.”

Sam replied, “No. He’s not what many would call handsome but I think he is. I think he’s adorable with his silly grin, dimples, expressive whiskey eyes that turn golden when he’s happy or mischievous, and heart shaped face. The minute I first saw him I thought he was cute as hell. Those eyebrows of his that wiggle up and down when he’s being cheeky or sarcastic. Then there is his lovely full dark blonde hair with the golden highlights that I am starting to see a few gray hairs in it at the temples and flecked in his sideburns.”

Dean asked, “Do you even know how old he is? He must be older than me. What if he gets ill or has a stroke?”

Sam said, “Yes and I don’t care that he’s older than you or that it shortens my time with him. I love him and want to spend the rest of the time he has with him. We’ll still have a good 30-40 years together. As for him falling ill or something then I will take care of him. I’m in it for the long haul whether good or bad. I’m not going to leave him just because he needs me to take care of him.” His arm tightened around Gabe’s side and he eased up when he heard Gabe mumble at it and groan. He was getting annoyed by his brother’s 20 questions.

Gabriel started to wake up and felt Sam’s arm tighten around him and hurt where his nails dug into his soft side. He groaned and mumbled, “That hurts, Sammy.” He felt the tension in his lover ease up and the nails stop putting groves in his side.

Sam kissed the top of the older man’s head and replied, “Sorry, Gabe.”

Gabriel mumbled, “’s ok.” He moved a little to unconsciously give Sam better access to his belly. He felt the younger man get the message and start rubbing it while he started to nod off leaning back against Sam’s shoulder at an angle. He had completely forgotten where they were until he jerked awake at an unfamiliar laugh.

Dean started laughing and snickered, “My god he rolls over like a dog to have his fat belly scratched. That’s just too funny.”

Sam growled, “Dean, Stop it. He likes it when I rub his belly. It’s a calming technique I found works for him. So What? At least he doesn’t scratch his balls whenever he feels like it. Shh. It’s all right. Dean’s just being a jerk again.” 

Dean snickered, “Ok. I’m sorry. I just can’t help it. I’ve never seen a grown man do that. It’s just not normal. Kids maybe to be funny when they are playing but not a grown man.”

Gabriel snapped, “Oh? Well I’m sorry if I’m not ‘normal’ by your standards. I find it soothing to have my fucking belly rubbed. I also find sucking on a pacifier soothing but that would to weird for you too I suppose. It’s called autism you douchbag. Just because I can act like you doesn’t mean I’m the same.” He sat up on the sofa and scooted away from Sam some.

Mary asked, “Autism?”

Gabriel replied, “Yes. I got lucky because its mild but I still have some annoying traits. I need repetitive motions to calm down like sucking on something or my belly being rubbed. I suck at most things but am good at drawing. I’m slow witted and zone out at times if I get too stressed. Have anxiety attack often or fits that turn into tantrums. I’m not good with people or being affectionate with new people.”

Mary said, “But you are with Annie.”

Gabriel sighed, “She’s a child. She got attached to me. I made myself adjust to her constant need to touch me until I was used to it. Sammy took longer because I was….attracted to him. I wasn’t used to being cared about or treated kindly by people because I am weird. I’ve steered away from relationships because they terrified me after Kali. She used to…beat and rape me. She always put me down because I wasn’t tall and thin like her. I’ve always been short and fat. Even at my thinnest I’ve had a pudgy belly that stuck out over my belt. Kali hated that and never failed to beat me over the head with it. Kali was 10 times worse to me than John was when he met me. So when I met Sammy… I just ran. To find someone who is happy to just be a part of my life and likes that I am short and fat? It was too good to be true. He’s the kindest, most patient, and accepting lover I could want but I still keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to turn into Kali. Deep down I am still scared even though in my head I know better. That’s why Cassie had to help him catch me because I trust my brother’s judgment. I’m rambling. Sorry.”

Mary replied, “That’s all right. It’s actually better to know so maybe we can understand you better. I am sorry that we come on rather strong. We were all just trying to make you feel welcome. Dean’s way is to pick on a person if he likes them. He’s even picking on Cas all ready. In fact I think we may have another member now. I’ve never seen him this happy over spending time with anyone. You’re brother is a handsome man and I think my Dean is in love.”

Gabriel started laughing hard and choked, “Oh God. That’s funny. My baby bro winding up with the one that picks on me? Wow. I can’t disagree though. Cassie is quite fond of Dean-o. I can tell. He’s at a loss for words when he’s around him. My brother is almost done with school. He’ll be graduating in a year. I moved out here to get away from Kali and to be with Cassie but I forgot how close he was to finishing. ”

Castiel said, “I don’t see why that matters. I’m not going to just up and leave, Gabriel.”

Gabriel snorted, “You’ll want a life of your own. You won’t want your lame ass low class brother pulling you down for the rest of your life, Cassie. You deserve better than that. So does Sammy. I’m just a nobody. You two can MAKE something of yourselves if you stay away from people like me.”

Sam wrapped his arms tighter around Gabe and said, “We’ve been through this. I’m not dumping you because I have a college education and you don’t. It doesn’t matter to me that you aren’t high class or a lawyer. I love YOU not your job. Hell if I make enough money you might not even have to work if you don’t want too. I’d rather it if you could stay home with Annie rather than have to find a sitter so we can both work.”

Mary said, “Sam has 3 more years to go. It’s a shame Annie will be separated from her father in that time but we can’t afford an apartment so he can have her with him.”


	18. Painful Past

Gabriel sighed, “I have a 2 bedroom apartment. I asked Sam to move in with me but he hasn’t given me an answer yet.. Annie can have the second room and Sam can share mine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. It just takes some getting used to doing it every night. He can live with me there if he wants with Annie. I pay all the bills anyway. It’s not like having his own space but at least there are no bills to pay. Then once he has his degree he can find a better place if he wants too or stay.”

Sam sighed, “If I found a better place you would be coming with me. You do realize that right? I told you I want to stay with you. Have a permanent long term relationship with you. You me and Annie are family now. You don’t split up a family, Gabe.”

Gabriel replied, “Sure, kiddo. If you still want me by then I’ll go wherever you want me too. I just didn’t want it to sound like I was forcing myself into your life. It’s you decision. If you want me to go away I will as well. You might decide you want someone your own class or just get tired of me by then.”

Sam sighed, “Gabe… You need to stop putting yourself down. So what if you’re just a college maintenance man? Dean is just a mechanic and Cas likes him anyway. Not to mention he’s my brother. I’m not going to desert either of you just because you make minimum wage and wear a mechanic uniform to work instead of a suit and tie. I’m not ashamed of either of you and I’m not going to be either.”

Gabriel replied, “I don’t expect you to dump your brother. Family is family no matter what but someone like me? I’m not your family, Sammy. I’m not blood and therefore you can cut ties with me. When you start making 3 figures a year I can’t blame you if you did. You deserve the best even if it isn’t with me. I’m just grateful for what I have gotten. I finally had a chance to find out not every relationship is abusive. I am glad for that but I will never have another lover. You are the only one I care to have in my bed. I’ve had a chance at happiness and I can’t help but be thankful for even a few years of it.”

Sam groaned, “Gabe, I love you. I don’t say things like that lightly. I’ll just have to show you as time goes on that I’m not going anywhere. You are stuck with me.”

Gabriel replied, “It’s all right. Whatever you chose I will abide by your decision. I’m not easy to be with let alone live with, Sammy. Cassie even gets sick of me. Hell he ran all the way out her to get away from his fucked up clingy brother after all. He puts up with me because he knows he’s all I have.”

Castiel replied, “I did not run away from you, Gabriel. I do get annoyed by you sometimes but we are both very different. I may talk to our parents once in a while but I do not consider them my family if they won’t accept you. You are my family and I will always be there for you even if I am a high priced attorney someday. I hated leaving you with that BITCH but you wouldn’t leave her. I would have drug you with me if you would have come but you were too scared to leave. Why do you think I came to visit you every weekend? It was to make sure you were alive and all right. She almost killed you the last time when I finally got you away from her clutches.”

Mary asked, “Almost killed him?”

Castiel growled, “Yes that Bitch beat him, burned him and cut him. Then she let her NEW boyfriend that was bigger than Sam rape my brother repeatedly. He was bleeding so much he went into shock. I drug him to the hospital and he was bleeding internally from that bitch breaking a rib and puncturing his spleen. I told him he was not going back to her if I had to quit school and live with him. He moved out here and got a job at the college because I didn’t give him a choice. I refused to lose my brother over an education.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’ve been nothing but trouble for you, Cassie.”

Castiel growled, “No. NONE of that shit would have happened to you if our homophobic family hadn’t thrown you out like they did. Our mother was cruel and hated gays, our father was a chicken shit that wouldn’t stand up to our mom not even to protect one of his own sons. Our parents used to let our brothers beat Gabriel as well. He had black and blues and broken bones then too. Throwing him out was both the best and worst thing they did for him. He went into life believing that everyone had the right to beat him because he was a faggot. He felt he deserved what Kali did to him because he was supposed to like women but couldn’t get it up for them. Our family really messed him up. If our family was more like yours than my brother’s life would have been much better.”

Gabriel sighed, “What’s done is done, Bro.” He leaned back again the sofa and closed his eyes. He hated when his brother told people everything but at least it saved him the trouble of sharing because it was too painful for him. He felt Sam’s arm wrap around his shoulders and placed a hand on the younger man’s thigh. 

Sam asked, “You all right, Gabe?”

Gabriel sighed, “No. Not really but I’ll manage like I’ve always done. I think I’m going to take Maxie for a walk. Alone, Sammy.” He got up and put on his coat and shoes. He clipped Max’s leash on and led his dog out the door and through the yard. After Max did his thing he just stood and looked at the stars for a while before going back inside. By time he got back inside his hair was covered in snow.

Sam worried the whole time Gabe was outside and was relieved when his lover came back inside. Sam wrapped his arms around his snow covered boyfriend in a hug. He ran his fingers through the older man’s snow covered hair and kissed his forehead. He said, “I was worried..”

Gabriel answered, “That I’d run away or do something stupid? No. I couldn’t do that to Maxie. Besides I have a family now. Until that ends I have to think about more than myself.” He let Sam help him take his snow covered coat off and shake the snow out of his hair. He hung his jacket in the closet and unhooked Max’s leash. He watched the little tan and white Corgi go run off to play with Annie. 

Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel only from behind this time and kissed the older man’s neck and rubbed his soft belly. He replied, “Good because if you ran off on me I’d have to hunt you down and bring you home.”

Gabriel leaned back automatically against Sam causing his belly to stick out more and he moved his head to the side to give Sam better access to his neck as he started purring in contentment. He felt Sam slip his hand up under his shirt and rub his belly more firmly and lightly tug on his light dusting of hair there. He groaned, “Mmmm. That fells good, Sammy.”

Dean walked in the room and saw Sam and Gabriel and groaned, “Woah dude. If you’re going to get pornographic go to your room, Sammy.”

Sam gave Gabe a little nip on the neck and backed away. He replied, “Sorry, Dean. Gabe needed the distraction. I promise we weren’t going to get it on in the living room.”

Gabriel laughed, “Speak for yourself, Sammy. I might let Dean-o watch sometime while we play hid the sausage if he really wanted. Maybe it would give him some pointers for when he and Cassie get there.”

Sam looked at the twinkle in the older man’s eyes and lightly pinched his lover’s squishy belly. He sighed, “Now who’s being a cheeky bastard? You have a bit of voyeur in you, Gabe?” He knew Gabe was hiding his embarrassment by being sarcastic so he just went with it.

Gabriel snorted, “Maybe. I did once think about becoming a porn star but I changed my mind after I was beaten senseless by Kali. Decided having one person fucking me over royally was enough.” He pulled a lollypop out of his pocket and started sucking on it to try and distract himself. He was grateful when Annie ran over and drug him with her to help her put a puzzle together. He spent a couple of hours putting puzzles together with her before it was time for her to go to bed.  
Mary Ann begged, “Read story, Loki? Please?”

Gabriel replied, “All right. You get ready for bed and I’ll read you a story.” He watched Mary take the child to get her dressed for bed. Mary came and took him to Annie’s room and he sat against the headboard and read her a bedtime story. He put on his reading glasses and she got comfortable with her head resting on the curve of his belly and a hand under his shirt on his soft belly.

Mary Ann was almost asleep when he finished the story book and tucked her in. She mumbled, “I love you, papa.”

Gabriel kissed her temple and said, “Good night, Pumpkin. See you in the morning.”He ran a hand over her head and quietly left the room. He turned off the lamp but left the night light on and the door slightly ajar. He took off his glasses and placed them on the night stand in Sam’s room before going back downstairs. He sat on the sofa next to Sam and accepted a cup of hot chocolate from Mary.

Sam said, “Gabe? I want to ask you something important. I wanted to ask you if you’d be willing to be Annie’s godfather or to even adopt her as your own daughter. That way if something happens to me than you are legally her father as well so she can stay with you instead of you having to fight to keep her.”

Gabriel stammered, “I… I really don’t know how to react to that.”

Sam stammered, “I mean you don’t have to if you want too. I just thought…” 

Gabriel replied, “It’s not that. I just never expected you to let me let alone ask me to be her legal parent.”

Sam replied, “She loves you. She calls you papa all ready. She has bonded with you. IF you are willing to be her father and raise her if anything happens to me then I don’t see why you shouldn’t be her legal guardian/parent as well. It also gets rid of the paperwork for you to have to adopt her anyway to keep her with you.”

Gabriel stammered, “IF that’s what you really want then yeah I’ll be whatever you want me to be with her.”

Sam replied, “Ok. That’s great. I think we should have you adopt her if that’s all right with you.”

Gabriel stammered, “OK. But what happens if you get sick of me?”

Sam replied, “I’m not going to get sick of you. But IF that happened then we’d have to share her like any divorced couple. If she’s old enough we’ll let her chose who she wishes to live with and if it’s you than that’s fine.”

Gabriel replied, “No. I couldn’t do that. I’ll share time with her but it’s not right that she lives with me if you are her biological father. You have every right to override her wishes.”

Sam sighed, “Look. IF that ever happened I’m not going to fight Annie if she’d rather you be the parent she lives with because I know how she all ready is without you around now. I’d rather not fight with her everyday because she’d rather be with you than me. Not that it will ever happen anyway but I love her enough to let her be with you if that’s what she wants and have weekends or whatever time I can spend with her.”

Gabriel sighed, “I hope it never comes to that because I couldn’t handle that. It’s one thing if you die or are incapable of taking care of her but just because of a ‘divorce’? That just would bother me.”

Sam replied, “Then we better not have to have to get one. Now enough of that because I love you and never plan on leaving you. We’ll work on you adopting her after we move in together. That way we’ll be a family and they can’t say anything about it.”

Gabriel replied, “All right. I think I’m going to go to bed if that’s ok. I’m tired.” 

Sam replied, “All right. We’ll both turn in. We were up pretty early. Ah ah. I’m coming with you.” He could tell the older man had gotten back into self hate mode again. He was tired though so he went up with the older man and stripped to his boxer briefs and got cleaned up for bed. He crawled into bed while Gabe did his nightly routine. He watched Gabe take of his sweat pants and tee shirt before crawling into bed next to him in just his boxers. 

Gabriel curled up on Sam’s shoulder and asked, “Why are you so nice to me, Sammy?”

Sam kissed Gabe’s forehead and replied, “Because I love you and that’s what someone who loves you does. They treat you right and want you to be part of their family. Yes we will have disagreements and probably a few fights but for the most part this is what life is supposed to be like when someone truly loves you, Gabe. Let’s get some sleep. I love you.”

Gabriel whispered, “Good night, Sammy. Thank you for being the way you are.” He nodded off to sleep while Sam was carding fingers through his hair.


	19. Back to College

When the day they had to go back to the college Mary Ann was attached to the smaller man’s hip. She begged him to stay over and over but he kept telling her he couldn’t.

Gabriel felt terrible that he had to tell Annie that he couldn’t stay. He sighed, “I’m sorry, Pumpkin. I have bills to pay and a job to keep. Don’t get me wrong I’d love to stay with you but I can’t. I need the job to pay my bills so I don’t wind up on the street.”  
Mary Ann said, “You live here.”

Gabriel snorted, “As sweet as that is. It’s not up to you. It would be up to your grandma and I don’t think she’d want me here all the time. I’d eat her out of house and home. Then there’s Maxie. She’d have a dog here all the time. Then we come to my mood swings… Nah she doesn’t like me that much. It’s a wonder your daddy can put up with me sometimes. Besides I got to keep Sammy company after Cassie graduates.”

Mary Ann whined, “But, papa! I don wan ya ta go!”

Gabriel knelt in front of her and replied, “I know. We’ll be together soon enough. I’m not going to disappear any time soon. I promise.” He hugged her and kissed her temple.

Mary Ann sobbed, “I love you, papa!”

Gabriel whispered, “I feel the same about you, Pumpkin. Don’t worry your pretty little head. You’ll see me again.” He fingered the locket she was wearing that he bought her and smiled. He said, “You have this to remember me by. Until we see each other again I’m right here and don’t you forget it. I’m in your heart and you are in mine. As long as we love each other we are never truly apart.”

Mary Ann asked, “You love me?”

Gabriel realized what he said and chuckled, “Yes, Pumpkin. I do. Very much and don’t you ever forget that, ok?”

Mary Ann replied, “OK. Stay.” She ran into her room and rooted around until she found her fluffy curly haired little stuffed teddy bear. It was old and worn but still in fairly good condition. She ran back to him and handed him the toy and said, “I want you to have her. She’s my favorite. Then you not forget me either. Her name is Sandy. Please take care of her.”

Gabriel stammered, “I…all right. I’ll take good care of her until you want her back, ok?” He got a nod and hugged her tightly. It was all he could do not to cry. A couple hours later they were all on the road and he was silently crying in the back seat. He hated how fast he got attached to people. That’s why he had avoided relationships most of his life after Kali. He had put Sandy in his duffel bag to protect her from Max.

Sam said, “Sandy is Annie’s favorite stuffed animal. She took that bear everywhere. She never let anyone have it until now. Her giving you it means you mean more to her than the bear.”

Gabriel whispered, “I could tell she was fond of the bear with how worn and old it is. It looks well loved.”

Sam asked, “Gabe? Are you ok?”

Gabriel wiped the tears from his cheeks and snorted, “Not really. But I’ll live.”

Sam asked, “What’s wrong?”

Gabriel snorted, “I fell for your daughter’s charms. It broke my heart to leave and not take her with us.”

Sam sighed, “I’m sorry. There’s nothing that can be done about it right now.”

Gabriel laughed bitterly, “You could move in with me. Then she could live with us. But I guess that’s too much to ask.”

Sam replied, “I know you mentioned it twice but I thought you aren’t ready for that step. I thought you only suggested it to make me feel better or to give me a place to stay after Cas graduated.”

Castiel realized he better say something before this got any worse. He said, “Sam…. Gabriel would never have mentioned it if he wasn’t ready or serious about it. He is very blunt and honest about those things. When he asked you to move in with him he meant now. Not after I graduate. It is a huge step for him and you inadvertently hurt his feelings when you didn’t reply or accept his proposal. You made him feel like you are rejecting him. For him it’s the equivalent of a marriage proposal because you would be living together as a couple.”

Gabriel groaned, “Cassie..”

Castiel said, “No, Gabriel. You weren’t going to tell him he hurt your feelings and I’d be the one to deal with the fall out. He needs to understand why you asked. Lack of communication is what messes up relationships.”

Sam groaned, “Shit, Gabe. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Of course I’ll move in with you if that’s what you really want.”

Gabriel snorted, “I don’t want you to do it out of guilt.”

Sam sighed, “It’s not out of guilt. I just misunderstood why you were offering. I love you and want to live with you. I just didn’t think you were quite ready yet. That’s why I avoided answering. I didn’t want to back you into a corner by accident. I mean I haven’t even been to your apartment yet.”

Gabriel snorted, “That’s because it makes more sense for me to meet you on campus since I’m all ready there. I just never really thought to take you to my apartment since it seemed better at your place since I’d probably have to drive you back to campus anyway. With me coming to you I’m able to stay with you until late before going home to take out Max and go to bed. It was just easier than taking you home and then having to drive you back to campus a few hours later.”

Sam asked, “When would you like me to move in?”

Gabriel replied, “It would have to be on a Saturday since that’s my only day off but you pick whichever one you want. Just give me some notice so I’ll be aware I’ll be spending my day moving your stuff and finding space for it. Then I’ll have to set up the smaller bedroom for Annie unless you don’t want her to live with us…”

Sam replied, “No that’s fine. Once we are settled into living together we can go pick her up. I just want us to adjust to the change before we get her so she only has to adjust to living with us instead of us learning how to live together as well.”

Gabriel replied, “Fair enough. Your right we should be comfortable living together before we throw a child into the mix.”

Sam replied, “How about I move in 3 weeks from this Saturday? Would that give you enough time to rearrange to make space for me in your life and home?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. If not I’ll let you know. I don’t own that much really. Mostly just need to move my clothes around and buy a bookcase to accommodate all of your books. I have a writing desk I use for drawing that should work fine for you to study for your classes. I need to buy another chair for the kitchen table for Annie and a sofa probably would be a good idea. I only have a comfy chair that I use all the time. My bed is a single so no problem finding a place for your bed there but I need to buy a bedroom suit for Annie’s room.”

Sam replied, “I’ll help you with Annie’s room. She’ll need a bookcase as well. She’s into My Little Pony right now so her bedding and accents should reflect that. Her favorite one is Rainbow Dash since she met you. That’s the pony with the ‘gay’ colored mane and tail. Before that she also liked Fluttershy which has a pink main and yellow body with butterflies.”

Gabriel replied, “OK. Whatever you tell me to get I’ll get.” After they got back to campus he took off for home and fell into bed almost as soon as he got in.


	20. Moving In

Three weeks later Gabriel was nervous as hell when he went to work on Friday because the next day Sam had set for moving in with him. As thrilled as he was he was terrified because living together meant Sam would know EVERYTHING about him including his quirks, obsessions, traits, and everything else. He needed some things a certain way or he’d go into an attack and his anxiety was all ready acting up. This is why he had never had a relationship since Kali. It was a traumatic life altering decision for him but he loved Sam and Annie so much he wasn’t willing to lose them over what most people would look at as a simple thing. All day he was sucking on lollypops to try and calm his nerves when he couldn’t take his anxiety meds. 

Sam looked up as Gabriel enters the cafeteria and could tell the older man was wired as hell. He had dark circles under his eyes and was sucking on a lollypop like it was a life preserver. He waited for his lover to get lunch and sit down before he placed a hand on the smaller man’s. He didn’t expect Gabe to flinch violently and asked, “Are you all right, Gabe?”

Gabriel almost skipped lunch but he knew that was running away in a sense. He also knew Sam would come looking for him like he always did if he missed their lunch ‘dates’ every day. Lunch time was the only time during the week they had to see each other with both having busy schedules. Then he started thinking as of the next day they would see each other all night, every morning and started to wonder if they would still have lunch together. He was so lost in his thoughts that when he felt a hand on his he flinched violently away from the hand. He soon focused and realized it was Sam. He reached his hand back out even though it was shaking and stammered, “Sorry. Was lost in my mind again. It wasn’t you. I just wasn’t expecting to be touched.”

Sam sighed, “Gabe.. You are shaking and wired like a high strung Corgi for God’s sake. What’s the matter. Did I do something?”

Gabriel stammered, “God No, Sammy. I think I just drank too much coffee.”

Sam sighed, “You are lying, Gabe. I can tell it’s your nerves. Now talk to me.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m… just nervous about you moving in. I’ve been alone so long I just am scared of you knowing every little thing about me. I may drive you away with how I am at home. I like things a certain way or I go into a tantrum. I’m even weirder than you know when I’m home.”

Sam replied, “We can wait if that’s what you want. There is no rush.”

Gabriel stammered, “I appreciate the thought but it won’t change anything. It’s just me. May as well rip the band aide off and get it over with or I may never do it. I don’t want to lose you and Annie because I’m terrified of you knowing everything.”  
Sam replied, “All right. If you’re sure.”

Gabriel timidly chuckled, “About as sure as I’ll ever be. What time do you need me here?”

Sam shrugged and replied, “Is 10am all right? Cas said he’d help us by moving my stuff as well.”

Gabriel replied, “That’s fine. Are you sure you want to move in with a weirdo like me?”

Sam leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips across the table in front of everyone. He then replied, “Yeah. I’m sure, Gabe.”

Gabriel blushed and stammered, “OK, Kiddo. I’ll be here half asleep and hopped up on coffee at 10am.”

Sam laughed, “Only you would say that. That’s one reason why I love you. You are unique.”

Gabriel replied, “That’s one way to put it, Samshine.” After lunch he went back to work and was a little calmer because Sam hadn’t changed his mind. He had rearranged his apartment and bought a bookcase and sofa for the living room. Next would be Annie’s room after Sam was settled in. They had decided to take Sam’s double bed because he only had a single one. They were going to put his bed in Annie’s room. That only left getting her a dresser and night stand. There was a small closet in the room which was all she needed for now. His room was bigger and he managed to fit a second dresser in there for Sam’s clothes. The closet they would have to share but he figured neither of them had much to put in there.

Sam was all packed by time Gabriel got there by 10am and they loaded the car. What didn’t fit in Gabe’s Bug Cas took in his Lincoln. Since Sam didn’t have a lot of belongings it all fit in the two cars. The bed was the trickiest but Cas figured out how to take it there. They all spent the day unpacking his belongings and finding a home for them in Gabe’s apartment. When he first walked in the door he said, “Nice place.”

Gabriel shrugged and replied, “I never..have had many belongings so it is kind of bare. All I ask is that you ask me first if something can be moved.. Certain things I am adamant about them staying where they are. Others I can deal with being moved.”

Sam replied, “No problem. It’s your apartment. I understand the need for things to be a certain way.”

Gabriel stammered, “Thank you for understanding. It’s one of my idiosyncrasies.” By the end of the day they were both happy with how everything was put away. He flopped on his chair exhausted and closed his eyes. He felt fingers carding through his hair and looked up to see Sam leaning over the back of his chair.

Sam could tell Gabe was tired and figured the older man had to be hungry seeing they hadn’t eaten all day. He said, “It’s about dinner time. What does everyone want to eat?”

Gabriel yawned, “I can make something in a few minutes. I just need to shut my eyes for a bit.”

Sam replied, “I’m not going to make you cook after all the work we just did. I’m going to order in. Just wondering what we can agree on. You have places that deliver here right?”

Gabriel mumbled, “Yeah, Sam-a-lam. Drawer under the phone has the menus. I’m not picky. Whatever you and Cassie want is fine. Money ‘s in my wallet on the night stand.” He was half asleep and scratched his belly before resting his hand there and nodded off.

Sam gently kissed Gabe’s forehead and went to look at the menus. Cas was able to agree with him on Thai. Luckily Gabe was the type that circled what he usually ordered. While they waited he watched his lover sleep in his recliner and asked, “Does he usually get this worn out?”

Castiel replied, “Yes. He doesn’t sleep very well. He has insomnia and has to take a sleeping pill at night but he sometimes forgets to take it. I also know he’s been so worried about this move that he has been distracted. He has been worried about how you would react to the real Gabriel. The one he hides from the world behind the walls of this apartment. You know him better than anyone except me but he still has hidden some things from you for fear that he’s scare you off or you’d laugh at him.”

Sam replied, “I’m not going to laugh at him no matter what silly things he may be hiding nor am I going to run away in fear. I told him I’m not going anywhere and I meant it.”

When the door bell rang Castiel said, “I’ll get it.” He paid for their dinner and brought it back to the coffee table in the living room and sat on the sofa next to Sam. He knew both items were new for his brother’s new family. He knew the older man was trying to be a good husband and provider which was important to his brother. He knew Gabriel desired to be needed and right now providing for this little family will fill that need. He said, “One important thing you need to know is that Gabriel has to feel needed and useful. Having a family will be good for him. Just don’t let him work himself into the ground, Sam. He’s not young anymore so he isn’t really healthy either. I don’t want my brother to drop dead working. Do you understand?”

Sam replied, “Of course. I don’t want my lover to drop dead. I love Gabe. I’m going to try my best to take care of him as well. As soon as I get my degree I’ll take over being the money maker.”

Gabriel grumbled, “I’m not that old, Cassie. I’m not that sick either. Most of what’s wrong with me is all in my head.”

Castiel sighed, “You are 40 years old and have a heart condition.”

Sam asked, “Heart Condition?”

Castiel replied, “Yes. He has a heart murmur that causes tachycardia if he gets over worked or too tired. I’m not surprised he hasn’t told you. He doesn’t like the idea of seeming weak to others.”

Gabriel sighed, “It’s just a small murmur. I haven’t had a problem in years, Cassie. I planned on telling Sammy. I just wasn’t ready too.”

Sam sighed, “He did tell me he had other things to tell me about his health in time. Can it be triggered by sex?”

Gabriel snapped, “Hell no. I don’t get that tired from sex. I’m not stupid. If it triggered it I wouldn’t be having sex. It’s only if I haven’t slept for days and pushed my body past its limits by working to much that it gets triggered. Haven’t done that in years.”

Sam replied, “Ok. I’m sorry. I just wanted to be sure. I don’t want you to drop dead during sex one night.”

Gabriel scrubbed a hand over his face and replied, “I’m sorry. I get it. I did ask the doctor if sex would trigger it before we stated having a sex life. I didn’t want to explain a heart attack while you were inside me either. Not only would that have been horrifying for you it would have been embarrassing and painful for me. I’m just tired, Sammy. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”

Sam went over to Gabe’s chair and kissed the top of the older man’s head. He replied, “It’s all right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you were stupid. Now why don’t we eat. You might feel better.”

Gabriel yawned and scratched his belly as he stretched. He replied, “All right. I know better than to argue with you. After that I think I’m going to lay down a while. You and Cassie can do whatever.” He wasn’t all that hungry but he ate enough to satisfy Sam before getting up and going to lie down. He was very glad Sam’s be had been moved in and the bedding put on it. He striped his clothes off and put on a pair of boxers before crawling in bed and falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Castiel sighed, “He pushed himself to hard.”

Sam asked, “Will he be ok?”

Castiel replied, “Yeah. He should be. He can usually tell when to rest. If he starts getting chest pains and hyperventilating that’s when you worry. This is him giving into what his body is telling him which is a good thing. Just let him sleep. He’ll feel better when he wakes up. It’s when he ignores his body’s warnings that we have a problem.”

Sam replied, “Thanks, Cas. I’ll do my best to keep an eye on him.”

Castiel stayed and helped Sam with a few things they had left and then by 10pm he said, “I think I’m going to go home. Gabriel works tomorrow and I can come over and keep you company if you want. I know you’re used to being at your mom’s house on the weekends.”

Sam replied, “That would be nice. Thanks. I usually am at my mom’s so I can see Annie but it was worth it to skip this weekend. After a year and a half Gabe and me are finally an official couple.”

Castiel replied, “Yes you are. Just remember he’s very insecure and needs to be reminded that you love him.”

Sam replied, “I know. Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He then proceeded to lock up and sit at the kitchen table and study. He was surprised when he heard movement and looked up to find Gabe in nothing but his boxers and scratching his belly as he yawned. His lover’s bed head was storable with the curls at odd angles and the straighter hair on top sticking up in spots. 

Gabriel had woken up and looked at the clock on his nightstand and noticed it was midnight and Sam still hadn’t come to bed. He got up and stumbled out to the kitchen for a drink and then thought he’d see if Sam was asleep somewhere. He found his lover in the kitchen at the table surrounded by school books. He yawned, “It’s midnight, Sammy. Think you should go to bed?”

Sam looked at his watch and replied, “Yeah. I guess I should. I can finish this tomorrow with Cas. Awe. Come’ere, Gabe. What’s the matter?”

Gabriel went over and stood in front of the taller man’s chair and let Sam pull him between his legs. He sighed, “It’s just now that we can sleep together through the night…. I was kind of hoping we’d actually both be in the bed. That nice big bed is lonely..”  
Sam kissed the older man’s soft belly a few times and replied, “You miss me. That’s sweet. I’m coming.” He stood up and turned out the lights before taking Gabe’s hand and drug him to the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxer briefs and crawled in the bed next to Gabriel. He gently pulled the older man close and they lazily kissed for a while. He said, “I love you, Gabriel Novak.”

Gabriel curled up against Sam’s side and rested his head on the taller man’s shoulder. He felt Sam’s finger’s gently trailing up and down is back and side as he nodded off again. He woke up at 3 in the morning with Sam spooned up behind him gently rocking his erection against his ass. He could also tell the younger man was rubbing his belly. He mumbled, “Ya horny, Sammy?”

Sam stammered, “Sorry. I shouldn’t be…”

Gabriel teased, “Using me as a fuck toy while I’m asleep?”

Sam sheepishly replied, “Umm. Yeah. I just..”

Gabriel bucked back against Sam’s erection and chuckled, “It’s all right. You are the only one that can do whatever you want to me… Well as long as you don’t beat me or abuse me.”

Sam replied, “It’s still not right.”

Gabriel replied, “I’m awake. You can do whatever you want now.” He rolled over and passionately kissed Sam while he slipped out of his boxers. He helped Sam out of his boxer briefs and had his hands all over the younger man’s body. They were so different in structure. Sam was tall, broad and muscular while he was shorter, fat, and soft. He still sometimes wondered how Sam could find him attractive.

Sam passionately kissed Gabe and reached back for the lube in the night stand. He squeezed some on to his fingers and gently started probing his lover’s entrance. They had stopped using condoms after both of them got tested and were clean. Sam wasn’t going to cheat and he knew Gabe wouldn’t cheat on him so they decided they were safe to go without them. He was able to slip a finger in and then up to three before he gently had Gabe roll on to his other side. He slipped inside the older man and pulled Gabe’s back flush against his stomach seating himself all the way inside. He felt the older man hook a thigh over his to give him better access. He kissed the top of his lover’s head and gently started a rhythm as he alternated between rubbing his lover’s belly and stroking his hard cock. He thought it was cute how the shorter man made it so his rounded belly stuck out while they made love. He just thought Gabe was cute no matter what silly thing he did. 

Gabriel couldn’t help how he reacted because he loved having his belly rubbed even more than his dick stroked. He felt Sam find the right angle to hit his sweet spot over and over again as he drilled into him. When he came he moaned the younger man’s name and went ridged. When he was coming down from his high he felt Sam soothingly rubbing his belly as the taller man slowly bucked in and out. He reached back and grasped Sam’s thigh to tell him to continue. He felt his lover speed up until Sam became erratic and he felt Sam spill his load deep inside his belly. 

Sam always slowed down when Gabe came so the older man was aware of what they were doing again before he took his own orgasm so the shorter man didn’t panic. It had become a routine after Gabe freaked out one time that he didn’t wait until Gabe had his senses back. After he came he just stayed buried inside his lover until he went soft because that seemed to make Gabe happy. He continued to rub up and down Gabe’s soft rounded belly in soothing motions while they waited. 

Gabriel whimpered when Sam slid out but knew they couldn’t stay connected forever. He was in no hurry to move from their position because he was rather comfortable laying half on top of his strong lover. He felt very loved with Sam rubbing his belly and kissing his neck and temple. Deep down he knew Sam loved him but sometimes his insecurities just got the best of him. The only thing he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was that he was completely in love with Sam and would never leave him on his own. Sam would have to leave him and then he would probably kill himself. The only thing that would keep him alive was Annie if Sam left him but he was able to see the child.

Sam kissed Gabe’s ear and whispered, “I love you so much. I hope you know that, Gabe.” He continued to kiss his lover where he could reach and rub the older man’s belly until he felt his breathing slow and knew his lover was asleep. He wanted to clean them up but he knew from experience that if he moved he’d wake Gabe up so he just let it go and nodded off himself.


	21. Welcome Home

Since Sam had moved in Gabe was very happy. He was getting laid every night except when Sam was at his mom’s place even if it was 3am and waking up being held by the man he loved more than anything. He really missed Sam on the weekends but he couldn’t go with him because of his job but his lover did call him at night to make sure he was all right. He was obediently taking his meds and eating whenever Sam told him to or just wanted to feed him. His life was perfect except that Annie was still living with her grandmother and not them because they just hadn’t had time to finish the bedroom or go get her. He finally decided he was going to drag Sam out today and get the rest of the stuff for Annie’s room. 

Sam was working on his homework at the desk his lover had given him. He felt bad because the older man had to find another place to store his drawing supplies. He looked up when the older man walked over and stood in front of him.

Gabriel said, “I want to go out and get the stuff to finish Annie’s room. Can you spare the time?”

Sam shrugged and replied, “Yeah I guess we can do that. I can leave for mom’s later. It is a 3 day weekend after all. “

Gabriel replied, “Good. I’d like to get Annie here. It’s been 4 months since you moved in not that I haven’t enjoyed being with you but I just kind of miss the kid. I may be a lousy dad but I can’t help it. I got attached to the little nipper.”

Sam replied, “You’ll be a wonderful father to her. It is a shame you never had any of your own. Give me a few minutes to get dressed and we’ll go ok?” He could tell his lover was both excited and nervous. 

Gabriel sat in his chair and tapped his fingers nervously on the arm while he waited for Sam. When they were finally able to go out he drove them to toys’r’us where they found a lovely single bed bedding set with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy on it. He then found two stuffed toys of the same characters for accents on the bed. He got 2 nightstands, bookcase and a dresser. He found 2 lamps one of each pony for the nightstands. Then he found curtains and a comforter and throw blanket to go with the theme as well. He was like a kid again buying toys and stuff for the girl’s bedroom. He was so excited and couldn’t wait until she could move in with them. He had money saved from living alone for a few years and hiding it behind Kali’s back for years and not having a life thankfully so he could afford to spoil the kid a bit but he did put a bit of a dent in his savings.

Sam was starting to wonder where Gabe got the money from that he was spending but didn’t have the heart to ask because his lover was so happy at the moment. When they got out of there they had a few trips to carry everything in their apartment. He helped the older man set up the bedroom and smiled when they were done because it really looked like a kids room. 

Gabriel asked, “Um… I was wondering if there was any way that you could bring Annie with you when you come back this weekend? I have a friend that can watch her while you are in school and I’m at work. One of the few friends I have from my younger years is Balthazar. He works at night and offered to watch the kiddo while we were at the school. IF you have any doubts about him you can ask Cassie. They are best friends. It was actually Cassie that got me to talk to him again.”

Sam asked Cas that night when he came over to study with him. Gabe had invited Cas for dinner and was busy cooking in the kitchen. He asked, “Who’s Balthazar?”

Castiel replied, “He’s a friend of mine from back home that moved here a few years ago. He also became Gabriel’s friend because the 3 of us used to hang out together after Gabriel moved here. My brother was so depressed when he moved here that I used to drag him out to gay bars just to try and get him out of this apartment for anything other than work. They became pretty close. I thought for a while they might become a couple but Balthazar just wasn’t Gabriel’s type. Gabriel doesn’t hide that he’s gay but he prefers to keep to himself for the most part. The only thing about Balthazar is he’s rather loud and flamboyant. He’s gay and proud about it. He does love children though and offered to help by watching Annie for you two so she can finally live with you again.”  
Sam asked, “Can he be trusted with Annie?”

Castiel replied, “Yes. He’d never let any harm come to her. He also works at night so he is available during the time you guys need him to watch her. He’s a bartender from 7pm until 3am at a local bar.”

Sam sighed, “All right. Is there any way I can meet the man before I leave tomorrow morning?” He waited while Cas called Balthazar and a meeting was set up for 7am the next day. When he met the man who was obviously either Gabe’s age or older he was a bit surprised. He knew Cas wasn’t kidding when he said the man was loud and proud but he seemed like a gentle soul and he trusted him for some reason. The next weekend he decided at the last minute when he was coming back to bring Annie with him. He packed up everything he could take with them and Dean drove them home to Gabe’s apartment.

Gabriel had told Sam good bye and the next two days were terrible at work. He got more insults and shit thrown at him and a few people even punched him over his relationship with Sam. Everyone by now KNEW that Sam had moved in with him after seeing them drive off together every night and come to school every morning together. He was worn out by the end of the day on Sunday because he had worked Saturday for the overtime , then worked longer hours today and he still had 5 more days to work before he had Saturday off again. He knew Sam was coming home but was too tired to really care right now. It was 8pm when he was finally able to get out of there and he was shaking from exhaustion. He missed the key hole 3 times before he got his apartment door open and knew he really needed a nap. His chest was starting to hurt and he knew that meant he had to lie down and sleep for a while so he striped and took a shower before putting n boxers and crashing on the bed. 

Annie was so excited and happy that her daddy took her with him and couldn’t wait to see papa again. When she walked in the apartment she somehow knew where he was and made a beeline for her parents’ bedroom before jumping on the bed with the older man and waking him up. 

Gabriel was so rudely awaken he yelled, “What the fuck?!” He sat up in shock and a pair of small arms wrapped around his neck. He turned on the lamp in the nightstand and his eyes went as wide as saucers.

Annie said, “I missed you, papa! Did you miss me? Papa?”

Gabriel was stunned that Sam actually brought her with him. He stammered, “Yeah. Sure I did. I’m sorry. I’m just surprised Sam actually brought you with him. When did you get here?” He looked at the alarm clock to see it was 11pm and was surprised that Sammy got there so late until he remembered Sam didn’t go to school the next day because the classes had been canceled for the day. 

Annie replied, “A little bit ago. Daddy and uncle Dean are bringing in my stuff.”

Gabriel got out of bed and found his Dark blue bathrobe with the light blue stripes on it. He wrapped it around himself and tied the belt and took Annie’s hand as they walked out to the living room. He saw Dean lugging a couple of boxes of toys into Annie’s room. He yawned and said, “Hey, Dean-o.”

Dean looked up and grumbled, “Hi. You should be doing this, you know. Not snoring while we do all the work.”

Sam chided, “Cut it out, Dean. He didn’t know I was bringing Annie home tonight.”

Gabriel replied, “I’m sorry. I had a very rough day. I was exhausted when I came home. I wasn’t feeling well so I took a nap. Otherwise I’d still have been awake.”

Sam asked, “Are you all right, Gabe?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. I’m all right now. I just had to rest or I would have had a problem.”

Sam could figure out that was code for heart trouble because that’s what Cas had told him Gabe did if his heart was acting up. That’s the second time his lover had heart trouble since he moved in with him. Granted they were months apart but it was still a little worrisome. He helped Dean finish getting Annie’s things in her bedroom.

Annie couldn’t find her bunny Snowball and cried, “Daddy! I can’t find Snowball!”

Sam sighed, “I’ll go look in the car. You were carrying her when you came out of the house. Maybe you dropped her.”

Annie whined, “I can’t lose her! Papa gave her to me!”

Sam searched the Impala and finally found the bunny under the backseat. He brought it in and gave it to her and watched her hug it as she ran over to Gabriel.

Gabriel recognized the white bunny rabbit and wrapped his arms around the little girl. He said, “It’s all right. I could have gotten you another one if I had too.”

Annie cried, “Not the same. First present.”

Gabriel replied, “All right. Sammy found her anyway so we don’t have to worry about it.” He felt her hand tuck in his robe to rest on his belly and hugged her. After Dean went home he sat on his recliner and she sat on his lap while Sam sat on the sofa. He coaxed her off his lap and led her into her new room and stammered, “Do you like it?”

Annie squealed, “I love it, Papa! Thank you.”

Gabriel stammered, “Well Sammy helped me pick stuff out that you’d like. I just kind of matched it all together.” He placed a hand on her shoulder as she tried to wrap her small arms around his round belly in a hug. They went and sat in the living room again and the chatted a while until he noticed she was nodding off. He picked her up off the sofa and carried her to her new room and after Sam pulled the covers down he laid her down and covered her over. He was glad they had her change into her nightgown before they started chatting. He kissed her cheek and said, “Good night, Pumpkin. Welcome home.”

Sam watched Gabe with his little girl from the doorway and smiled. He was glad he had found a man that loved his little girl as much as he did. When his lover came out of Annie’s room he wrapped his arms around the smaller man and leaned down to kiss him. He said, “I missed you, old man.”

Gabriel chuckled, “I missed you too, you great big moose. Thank you for bringing her home with you. I feel like we are finally a family.”

Sam replied, “Well. I couldn’t deal with all the sad faces you two were giving me any longer. Annie wanted her papa and threw fits whenever I went there without you and then you were pouting because you missed her too. It was just too much. I’m just hoping this works out. No I’m not worried about the 3 of us working. I’m more worried about Balthazar but then he seems to be a decent guy.”

Gabriel replied, “He would never harm her nor would he let anyone else harm her. He’d make a wonderful mom if he was a woman. We should probably go to bed. I have to be up early tomorrow and I missed our 3am love making sessions.”

Sam laughed, “I’ve only been gone two nights. You are such a horny little man.”

Gabriel shrugged and teased, “Well you made what I am, Sammy. I can’t help it that I just love having your huge cock buried deep inside of me as often as possible.” He wasn’t kidding either. Sam was HUGE at 10 inches long and 5 inches around when erect but he had gotten so used to it by now that he craved the bigger man’s love stick and wished they could always be connected like that. The first time he didn’t know if his lover would fit but they apparently were meant to be together because it did.

Sam kissed Gabe again before sucking on his lover’s neck and gently guiding him back to their bedroom. He got them inside and shut the door after putting the baby monitor on the nightstand so if anything happened to Annie he’d know. He stripped out of most of his clothes without even breaking their kiss before gently coaxing Gabe on the bed and striping the rest of the way. He smiled when he looked to find his lover all ready naked by time he was done. He crawled up the bed to join Gabe and ran his hands up and down his lover’s soft sides and belly and said, “You are beautiful, Gabe.” 

Gabe still didn’t know how Sam could think him beautiful with his soft round belly and love handles but he was grateful his lover did. He replied, “So are you, Sammy. I still can’t believe you chose me out of everyone in the college.”

Sam playfully nibbled on his lover’s ear because he loved it when the older man laughed. He knew Gabe didn’t really believe him when he said his chubby little mate was beautiful but he didn’t want to ruin the mood so he let it go for now. He loved Gabe’s round soft belly, love handles, squeaky but raspy voice when he was happy or excited, his soft heart shaped face with its slight double chin, his beautifully soft light brown hair with the shiny golden highlights that made him look like he’s a dirty blonde. He even loved how Gabe was always shaving his face every morning but still had scruff by the end of the day anyway because his facial hair just grew that fast. He knew Gabe hated facial hair so neither of them had any. He laughed when Gabe told him he hated the scratchy feel of stubble or a beard. It sent chills down his lover’s spine and ruined the mood for them once and after that he didn’t argue with him if he wanted to get laid. He was little by little learning his lover’s quirks. Some he could get around…others… nope.

Gabriel was howling in laughter as Sam nibbled and licked his ear. He wheezed, “Oh come on, Sammy. This is fun and all but I’d like a little attention somewhere else.”

Sam smirked and replied, “You mean here?” He then cupped his lover’s balls and gently squeezed them before gently stroking the older man’s half erect cock.

Gabriel spread his legs wider and sighed, “Yeah. Little lower though, Sammy.” He groaned in delight when the younger man slid a hand under his balls and started caressing and gently pushing against his hole. He loved having Sam inside of him so much that he didn’t always need to be even touched on his cock to cum. He could come from the younger man just pounding into him. He whined when the finger was taken away but sighed when it came back with lube on it and started pushing inside of him. After a few minutes he whined, “Sammy please. Fill me up with you cock. I need to feel you inside of me.”

Sam slowly pushed inside of Gabe until he was balls deep inside his lover and slowly started moving. He leaned down and passionately kissed the older man as he got a rhythm going. He sucked and bit the smaller man’s neck and shoulders leaving hickeys ad love bites behind. He loved the little moans and noises Gabe made while they made love. He smiled because he was the one making the shorter man moan and talk like a slut. It was rather satisfying that he could basically turn his lover into a pile of withering goo. He increased his rhythm and ran a hand up and down the smaller man’s round belly. He said, “God Gabe, You drive me mad with lust. I love you so much. Uhh you’re so soft and wonderfully warm. I could stay inside you forever. That’s it come for me, sweetheart.” He loved watching Gabe’s face when he came. His pupils blown, mouth open in mid moan and body ridged as he felt the splash of Gabe’s cum against his abs.

Gabriel was always so satisfied and relaxed after sex that he fell asleep within 10 minutes of cumming. He knew Sam worried about that but had explained how relaxed he was and that he took his sleeping pill before they made love and it was kicking in about the time they were finished. He felt Sam’s pace getting erratic and he knew the younger man was close. In a few minutes he felt Sam come deep inside of his belly and he was squashed under the taller man’s weight. By the time Sam slipped out of him he was almost asleep. He vaguely remembered Sam cleaning them up before pulling him against his side. He felt Sam pull him on to his side and he automatically curled up on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam still worried about how fast Gabriel fell asleep but he did understand his lover took a potent sleeping pill. He cleaned them both up before crawling back in bed. He got the older man comfortable on his shoulder and ran his fingers up and down the smaller man’s arm. He kissed the top of Gabe’s head and settled down to go to sleep. He made love to the older man again at 3am with them both on their sides and spooning. He cleaned them up again, made sure the sheets were clean, and got them both in boxers in case Annie hopped in bed with them.

Gabriel was woken up to a small hand pulling on his that was hanging over the bed. He mumbled, “What’s the matter, Pumpkin?”

Mary Ann replied, “Bad dream, Papa. I sleep with you?”

Gabriel replied, “Kay.” He let he climb up and settle under the covers in front of him. He wrapped an arm protectively around her and kissed the back of her head before nodding off again.


	22. Rocks And Assholes

The next morning Gabriel woke up to his alarm going off at 6am and really didn’t want to get up. He had Sam wrapped around him from behind and Annie against his belly in the front. He was in a Winchester sandwich for lack of a better description. He had to get up though because he was the money maker and it was a work day. It was Sunday so Sam would be home with Annie while he worked. He woke her up and got her curled against her daddy before he got his uniform together and slipped in the bathroom for a shower. He shouldn’t have worked the extra hours yesterday because he was exhausted but he’d manage. With a family now he needed all the money he could make and overtime was good for that. He still had some of his savings left but he needed to keep that in case he got sick or lost his job. He needed to make enough to take care of his family and try and add money back in his savings.

Sam woke up with Annie against him sleeping and smiled before he realized Gabe was missing. He then remembered it was Sunday which was one of his lover’s normal work days. He was grateful for the older man that it was a shorter day because the smaller man was starting to look tired. He was surprised when Gabe had told him he had worked on Saturday while he was at his mom’s house. Then he found out the older man worked extra hours the night before. Now the older man was at work again. He got up and started breakfast for him and Annie and was happy when Annie wandered in.

Annie woke up without her dads and followed her nose to the kitchen where she found her daddy cooking. She asked, “Where Papa?”

Sam knelt in front of her and replied, “He’s at work, Annie. He’ll be home this evening. Until then it’s just you and me.”

Annie pouted and replied, “OK.” She ate breakfast and sat with her stuffed animals in front of the TV watching cartoons.

Sam worked on the last of his homework while his daughter was happily entertained. A couple times they took Max out to go to the bathroom and then Annie sat playing with the Corgi. He had to admire how well she was adjusting to the new environment.   
Meanwhile Gabriel’s day started off with a broken toilet and just went downhill from there. Two clogged toilets, 4 busted sink pipes, and a broken shower head later and he could finally go home. Of course on the way to his office he got hit by tomatoes, eggs, jelly donuts, you name it. He was getting tired of being harassed and turned around. He yelled, “Look you little assholes. I know I don’t deserve a wonderful guy like Sam but he chose me. I didn’t chase him.. He chased me. Oh don’t get me wrong.. I wanted him to be with me but I didn’t go after him. For some reason he chose me and I am happy. Why can’t you just accept that he wants to be with me?”

Student 2 snorted, “Because you are old, fat, and ugly.”

Gabriel snorted, “First of all I’m not that fucking old. Second Sam likes my looks for whatever reason. Third he likes me fat not that it is any of your business.” After that he walked away but wasn’t expecting the rock thrown at his head. He lifted his hand to the back of his head and realized he was bleeding. He got in his car and managed to drive to the ER after he realized he was getting dizzy and his he was hurting. He wound up with a minor concussion and swelling. They gave him something for then both and cleaned the wound and his hair around it. Luckily they didn’t have to shave his head and just told him to keep the area clean. They also gave him something for the dizziness so he managed to drive home without incident. When he got home it was 9pm and knew Sam would be upset but he had forgotten to call the younger man.

Sam looked at the clock when he heard the door open and sighed, “Where have you been, Gabe?” He looked at his lover and noticed how pale he looked. He went over and helped him to a chair.

Gabriel replied, “The ER. Your cronies…decided to up the ante and started throwing rocks at me. One hit me in the back of the head. No.. I’m all right. Just a minor concussion and dizziness.”

Sam growled, “Why were they throwing rocks?”

Gabriel shrugged and replied, “Didn’t like what I had to say.”

Sam sighed, “What did you say?”

Gabriel replied, “Just that you chased me and you like me fat. That I didn’t deserve you but I’m happy you picked me.”

Sam wrapped his arms around the older man and sighed, “I’m sorry. You should report them. We should have reported them a long time ago. I didn’t want to end a friendship on a bad note. This is all my fault.”

Gabriel whispered, “No. It’s my fault for getting involved with someone above my station just because I fell for them. I should have stayed in my place. They are right…You deserve far better than a piece of shit like me, Sammy.”

Sam leaned on the chair arms and looked the smaller man in the eyes and said, “That’s bullshit, Gabe. You are just as good as anyone else. Just because you don’t have a high priced job or college education doesn’t make you anymore not right for me then a highly paid doctor.”

Gabriel snorted, “The fucking doctor could support you and Annie without running themselves into the ground for one…” He clacked his mouth shut when he realized what he just said and waited for Sam’s reaction.

Sam said, “Is that why you’ve been ill so much? You are pushing yourself past your limits. Dammitt. You know you can’t do that. I’m not going to lose you over a little extra money. If it’s money I can go get a part time job after school. Are we that much of a drain on your finances?”

Gabriel sighed, “No. I just want you both to be happy. I want to give you everything. I want to be able to get you something if you really want it without having to sweat how I’d pay for it.”

Sam knelt in front of the older man and sighed, “We are happy. We are with you. That’s what matters… That we are a family. In 3 more years I’ll be a lawyer and making 6 figures a year. Then we’ll have no worries.”

Gabriel whispered, “And I’ll be useless. Or worse… you’ll find someone your own class or you’ll dump me for a newer model.” He hated himself for crying but he couldn’t stop it.

Sam wiped the tears from Gabe’s cheek and kissed his lover gently one the lips, nose, cheeks and forehead. He firmly replied, “I’m not going to dump you for a newer model or someone that makes more money. Just because you aren’t the money maker anymore doesn’t make you useless, Gabe. If we can afford it and you feel comfortable at the time I’d like you to be a stay at home dad to Annie.”

Gabriel snorted, “Terrific. Now what you think I’ll be too old and decrepit to hold a job in 3 years?”

Sam sighed, “No. I just rather Annie be raised by one of her dads than a stranger or series of strangers if it is conducive to our budget. You just seem like the best choice because you are older, will have to retire before me most likely, have the lower paying job and face it our daughter loves you more.”

Gabriel sighed, “She’s not really my daughter, Sammy. No matter how much I want her to be. No matter how… deeply I care about her. I have no claim to her…”

Sam replied, “That’s another thing I wanted to talk to you about. I was going to do this later but now is as good a time as any. Remember I asked you about taking a more permanent role in her life? I want to make you Annie’s godfather or for you to adopt her as your own. Her mom is dead and I’m her father. Her maternal grandparents signed paperwork so they can’t take her away. My mom will take care of dad if he tries to go after you for custody. The only request Jess’ parents had was that they be allowed to see their granddaughter every so often whenever I’m in town and have the time. I would hope you would carry that on. I’ll have to take you to introduce you to them.”

Gabriel stammered, “Wait…. What? You want me to adopt her? Why? Why not make Dean her Godfather?”

Sam sighed, “That way if something happens to me no one can take her away from you. Besides we both love you and I’m trying to prove to you I plan on staying with you until you die even if you are a moody old man. Dean… He loves Annie but he’s not the affectionate type nor does he really want the responsibility if there is a better choice. You simply are all around the better choice because she adores you. Besides if you adopt her then you can make Dean her Godfather in case something happens to you if you want too.. Or even Cas if he’s willing.”

Gabriel snorted, “Hardy Har Har.”

Sam replied, “So will you? Adopt her and be her father?”

Gabriel sighed, “If that’s what you both want and both families agree to it then yeah. I’ll be more than happy to adopt her.”

Sam replied, “OK. Great. We’ll set a date to visit Jess’ parents then. Mom and Dean are fine with you adopting her. Dad well we don’t really care about his opinion and Mom will take care of him if need be. I talked to them and Cas about it all ready. Then we’ll set up the adoption. The only thing that we are agreed on is that if something happened to you… Cas and Dean should be her godparents.”

Gabriel replied, “I’m fine with that. Not like I got anyone else to rely on after all. Besides Cassie would have been my first choice if she were my flesh and blood. He’s the only one I’d trust with her.”

Annie had woken up when she heard their door open and now she ran out and babbled, “Papa going to be real papa?! I stay with Papa always?!” She pushed her father out of the way and wrapped her arms around the smaller man’s soft middle and rested her head on his belly.

Gabriel looked at Sam who nodded and he replied, “Yeah, Kiddo. You’re stuck with me. Always.” He hugged the child back and started crying again because he has never felt this loved in his life. This child was everything to him.

Annie said, “I love you, Papa.”

Gabriel choked, “I love… you too, Pumpkin.” He buried his nose in her hair and cried. God he was weepy today. He wasn’t even sure how he said it but he had finally admitted he loved her out loud. That night he curled up in bed with Annie in the middle of him and Sam. She was curled against the soft round curve of his lower belly and her small hand was playing with his chest hair at his ribcage where his belly started to curve outward. He was glad he wasn’t in the mood for sex tonight. His head hurt too damn much. He rubbed his hand up and down his rounded belly and realized he had gained about 6 inches in girth in his belly since he had met Sam. He used to feel disgusted with his weight but he didn’t anymore. Oh once in a while he’s have a pang about it but then he’s remember how happy Sam was feeding him and rubbing his soft pliable belly. He couldn’t miss that his lover enjoyed his extra weight because the younger man was always rubbing of kneading his belly. When he was too full, during sex, when he first wakes up wrapped in the younger man’s arms, in the middle of the night while they were half asleep talking. Hell Sam paid more attention to his belly than anything else on him including his ass, dick and lips. If he didn’t enjoy it so much he might be a little upset. As he felt Annie rubbing his belly he had to smile… Like father like daughter. He finally mumbled, "Why are you so enthralled by my belly?”

Annie asked, “Are you having a baby, papa?” She had never seen a male with a round belly before but she knew women got them sometimes when they were going to have children.

Gabriel laughed, “Good lord. No. I’m just a fat old man that eats too much. I love food and sweets too much is all, Pumpkin.”

Annie stammered, “Sorry. It’s just all I know is belly means baby..”

Gabriel replied, “For women that is true at times but men… nah we’re just fat.”

Annie pouted, “I would have liked a sissy or brodder….”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m sorry, kiddo. Maybe you would have been better off liking one of your dad’s female friends. He’s young and handsome.. He can still find one if that what you want.”

Annie yelped, “NO, papa. Want you to stay. Not like girls…Love you.”

Gabriel sighed, “I can’t give you a sister or brother. I’m useless in that department.”

Annie cried, “Don care. Love you. Sorry. Need you. Not kid. Please..”

Gabriel kissed her on the top of the head and replied, “Shh. It’s ok. I know you weren’t trying to hurt my feelings. As long as you and Sammy want me I’m not going anywhere.” He felt her go back to rubbing his soft belly and start poking it. She was quietly snickering as it bounced and jiggled. He let her have her amusement for a while. Eventually though he was getting sore when she kept pressing and poking. He kissed the top of her head and mumbled, “Stop poking my pot belly please? I need to sleep. Papa has to work in the morning.” After she settled he started to nod off as his sleeping pill kicked in. 

Annie felt bad for poking him now so she just placed her hand flat against her papa’s soft belly and stammered, “Sorry, papa. Good night.” She settled down and felt him nod off as his arm wrapped around her shoulders slid further down. She placed a kiss on his chest and settle down on his shoulder to sleep. She felt her father curl up behind her with an arm resting over them both.


	23. Meeting Jess' Parents

Gabriel was even more nervous about meeting Sam’s in-laws because he was taking the place of the child’s mother for all intense and purposes. His anxiety got worse and worse as they got closer to the weekend they were going. He was going through all of his clothes and they either didn’t fit him or didn’t seem appropriate when Sam told him Jess’ parents were lawyers. He didn’t even own a suit.. Everything he had was either too tight across his belly or not a dress shirt… All of those he had gotten to round to fit in over the last year and a half he had known Sam except for the ones he had from the last time he was this size but none of them seemed right. He stammered, “Oh God. I can’t do this. I am to fat for any of my good dress shirts… These are big enough but too old and ragged to wear to meet lawyers… God everything else are tee shirts, and just boring long sleeve shirts.”

Sam came up behind his lover and wrapped his arms around the smaller man to rub his round belly. He said, “It’s all right, Gabe. They aren’t really snobs. I wore flannel shirts when I met them.”

Gabriel snorted, “But you aren’t taking the place of their grandchild’s fucking mom. You were marrying their daughter.”

Sam sighs, “OK. How about we go out and find you some more clothes? Button ups, new jeans, shoes.”

Gabriel stammered, “A… suit?”

Sam replied, “If you want a suit or two. We can get it. I have a few dollars saved that will help with the prices.” He went out with his lover and they found a bunch of clothes for the older man that they made sure were a couple sizes bigger so they were loose and would fit if his lover gained more weight. The suit though….That took some time. Eventually he settled on the charcoal grey suit with a pink silk checkered dress shirt and Charcoal loafers. He also made sure to get Gabe new boxers and black sneakers because his old ones for work were starting to fall apart.

Gabriel looked at himself in the mirror and asked, “Are you sure, Sammy? I think this shirt makes my pot belly stick out more…”

Sam replied, “So? It shouldn’t matter to them if you’re short and fat or tall and thin. It shouldn’t matter what they think either. You are with me. Not them.”

Gabriel sighed, “I.. just want them to like me, Sammy. I am adopting their grandchild..”

Sam kissed Gabe’s forehead and lightly rubbed his belly through his shirt. He said, “They’ll like you. Beside even if they didn’t you are still adopting her anyway.” He helped Gabriel pay for the new clothes and the next weekend they got on a plane to California to meet Jessica’s parents. Packing Max in a travel crate was the hardest time. He couldn’t leave his pup at home. They’d be gone for a week. He had arranged to have the time off to meet them. He didn’t want to lose the money but he made a promise to Sam and he kept his word.

They got in the car Gabriel rented to go meet Annie’s maternal grandparents. He just hoped they liked him enough to let him raise their beautiful granddaughter. So here he was in his charcoal dress suit, charcoal loafers and pink dress shirt hoping they liked him. While Sam took Annie in he got Max out for a walk. They were staying at a hotel a few blocks away. When Sam waved him to come in he hesitantly came up the porch steps and tied Max to the post for the moment.

Annie ran right over to her papa and wrapped her arms around the older man’s belly rested her head on the curve by his belly. She asked, “Why so long, papa?”

Gabriel ruffled her hair and replied, “Had to walk Maxie. I hope it’s ok.. I tied him to your post out there. I didn’t want to bring him in unless you said it was ok.”

Sam said, “This is my lover Gabriel. Gabriel, These are Jess’ parents, Daniel and Sandy Moore.”

Sandy replied, “Not exactly what I pictured when you told us you were bringing him.”

Daniel replied, “Yeah. Firstly we thought you were a girl. Go figure.”

Gabriel sighed, “No. Sorry. Definitely male even though I tend to act like a girl sometimes.”

Sandy replied, “Well. That’s all right. It was just a surprise. Please come in.”

Daniel said, “So you’re going to petition to adopt our granddaughter? No offense but isn’t it a little unusual to have two fathers on a birth certificate?”

Sam sat with Gabriel on the sofa and replied, “Oh the birth certificate will always have Jess’ name on it. No Gabriel will just have official documents declaring he adopted her as a second parent making him her legal guardian if something happens to me.”

Daniel asked, “Why bother coming here? It sounds like you plan on doing it anyway, Sam.”

Sam replied, “Yes. I do plan on doing it regardless but Gabe wanted for lack of a better phrase your blessing. He’d rather you be ok with him adopting Annie.”

Sandy replied, “Well. I… don’t know what to say to that. No offense but we don’t even know you, young man.”

Gabriel sighed, “Look. This was Sammy’s idea. I’d be honored to be Annie’s legal father as well but I don’t deserve such a beautiful child or lover. I’m just a lowly Janitor at the college he’s going to now. I make minimum wage, am mentally messed up, have tried to kill myself 3 times before I met these two. I’m 40 years old, fat and have chronic depression but somehow these two…wonderful people have become my whole world and I want nothing more than to make them happy for the rest of my miserable life… If I ever lose them…It would destroy me…. I…Excuse me.” He got up and left the house and sat on the porch steps petting Max while he cried. He knew they’d never approve of a fuck up like him. 

Annie followed her papa outside and sat next to him on the steps and leaned against his side as he wrapped and arm around her shoulders. She asked, “You ok, Papa?”

Gabriel sighed, “Yeah, I’m all right, Pumpkin.” He really wasn’t but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

Daniel replied, “Well. He is quite the drama queen. I don’t know, Sam. Can’t you find a nice girl?”

Sam replied, “Look. I love Gabriel. Annie loves him. I will not leave him just because you think a woman would be better suited to take care of MY daughter. I don’t want to be mean or rude but the decision is mine to make. The only reason why we are here together telling you is because Gabriel wanted your blessing and approval.”

Daniel asked, “What do your parents say about this…relationship.”

Sam replied, “My mom and brother are good with it. My father is a bigoted bastard that hates Gabriel without knowing him. My mom will fight my father until the end about this if she has too. We have been together for over a year and a half, have moved into his apartment and he’s paying for everything while I get my law degree. He is the one supporting me. So before you judge him just think about that. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t love me and Annie. He works way too hard to keep us happy. I have to constantly yell at him for pushing himself too hard because he had a heart condition but all he’s worried about is bringing in enough money to support us and take care of us like a proper husband would for a wife.”

Daniel replied, “That interesting because I see him more as the wife in that analogy. I accept that he is the bread winner for now. I can’t really understand you being with a man after Jess but if he is good to you and treats you both well then… All right. I’ll give the bastard my blessing but he had better treat you right and take proper care of our grandchild.”

Sandy sighed, “If he makes you happy then I give you both my blessing as well but like Daniel says he’s better do right by both of you or we will come after him for our granddaughter.”

Sam replied, “I’m sure Gabe will understand that point of view. Let me go get him.” He found his lover on the steps outside with Annie curled up against his side. He knelt behind Gabe and wrapped his arms around the both of them resting a hand on his older lover’s pot belly. He said, “They are all right with you adopting Annie. Granted that’s as long as you treat us right and take good care of us especially Annie. Why don’t you two come back inside now?”

Gabriel whispered, “Are you sure?”

Sam replied, “Yep. Come on.”

When Gabriel got back in the living room with Annie wrapped around his waist he saw Sandy stand up before coming over and hugging him. 

Sandy said, “Look, Gabriel. We are not going to ever understand why Sam here chose a man instead of another woman to…. Um.. fall in love with? But given that both him and our little Annie both love you then we are willing to give you our blessing in adopting our granddaughter providing you treat them right. If anything happens to Sam we expect you to treat her as if she is your own flesh and blood and properly provide for her like a biological father would. You must love her and raise her like you would your own child. Do you understand? If you do not we will do anything we can to take her away and give her a proper family.”

Gabriel swallowed and replied, “Yeah. It won’t be very hard. She’s all ready wormed her way into my old damaged heart. I assure you that should anything happen to Sammy… Annie will be the most important thing in my life. I’ll do everything I can to take good care of her and make sure she has everything she wants or needs. She all ready gets away with almost anything with me. Trust me she has me wrapped around her little finger.”

Sandy replied, “All right. Then welcome to the family. You are expected to visit with Sam and Annie as much as possible and if the time comes we expect you to make sure we see our grandchild.”

Gabriel replied, “Yes ma’am. I’ll do my best. I have a blue collar job. So as long as I’m the only source of income… I’ll shoot for 1-2 times a year if we can fit it in the budget. After Sammy is a lawyer… Well that’s up to him as the budget allows.”

Sandy asked, “Are you really supporting both of them while Sam is in college?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. I am. It’s not easy but I’m managing. The hardest part was getting ready for Annie to move in because I had to make a bedroom out of an office. So I had to buy everything but luckily I had some money saved.”

Sandy asked, “So you gave up your savings to move Annie in with you and her father? Why? You could have waited until Sam graduated.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’d all ready grown attached to her and she was giving Mary a hard time because she wanted to be with me and her father. I just figured she’d be happier with us as a family so I made her a bedroom and Sammy brought her home.”

Sandy asked, “Where do you live? How does Sam get to school?”

Gabriel shrugged and replied, “A small two bedroom apartment close to the college. It’s not the Ritz but I keep it clean and safe. I had lived there for a few years before Sammy and Annie moved in with me. I own a car and I drive him to school every morning when I go to work. I’m the head of maintenance at his college.” 

Sandy replied, “Ok. Do you have anyone to watch Annie while you aren’t home?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. I have a friend that stays with her until Sammy gets home. He hitches a ride home with my brother or I find the time to drive him and then go back to work. My brother was his house mate on campus originally and for the most part their courses end at the same times so he takes Sammy home and they study together until I get home.”

Sandy replied, “I guess you planned it pretty well. Do you have any children of your own, Gabriel?”

Gabriel replied, “No. I came out as gay when I was a teenager. Never did the marriage and kids thing. Not that I didn’t want children but I just have no interest in women. Before you ask.. I am gay but don’t care if my mate is gay or bisexual. I have no problem with Sammy having been with a woman or being attracted to them as long as he stays monogamous while we are together. I will not be cheating on him and expect the same in return from him.” He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his middle and rest on the curve of his belly. He unconsciously leaned back against Sam causing his belly to stick out.

Sandy stated, “I’m surprised that Sam chose you. Only because our Jess was tall and thin like him. You are… well short and fat… No offense. It just seems odd.”

Sam replied, “I like women tall and thin while I like my men short and fat so I have something to cuddle. Gabe was thinner when we met and I’m afraid I’m the reason he’s gotten heavier. He is much happier now and comfortable with his weight. I love him just the way he is and am perfectly happy with his body. We are both content with him at this weight. In all honesty I love the softness of his body. It is a pleasant contrast to my own. Not that it should matter to you how fat or thin my lover is really.”

Gabriel sighed, “Look… I know I’m not what would really be attractive to you but Sammy pursued me even after I told him to go to hell because I didn’t believe him. I still find it hard to believe he wants someone like me sometimes but I’m not about to argue with him. I’m not conventionally handsome or desirable but Sammy thinks I am for some reason and that’s all that really matters to me.”

Sandy replied, “As long as Sam is happy and Annie is well cared for I guess it doesn’t really matter what you look like or what sex you are.”

Mary Ann defiantly replied, “I love papa, grandma.”

Gabriel looked down at the little girl and smiled. He messed her hair with his hand and let her rest her head against his belly. After that everything was less tense and awkward. That night when they went back to the hotel they stopped for Chinese because Sam was in the mood. So he stripped out of his suit and hung it up in the carry bag and was just padding around in his bright red boxers and a wife beater which he usually did at home. He did have a pair of sandals he had brought with him on his feet. He knew Sammy preferred it when he walked around with the least amount of clothes he could get away with so there were less layers when the younger man drug him to bed. Although right now he was just hot from being in his suit all day. 

Mary Ann watched her papa rummage around in his boxers and tank. She was used to him running around in just those at home. Her daddy usually ran around in sweats or shorts and a tee-shirt. Papa’s boxers were basically shorts as far as she could tell. She hugged him as he finally stood still long enough and said, “I love you, papa.”

Gabriel smiled and replied, “I know you do, pumpkin. Why don’t we sit down on the bed and wait for Sammy to get out of the shower? Then we can have dinner.” He sat against the head board and crossed his legs at the ankles. He felt her crawl up next to him and rest her head on his ribcage where his heart is located. He wrapped an arm around her and ran his fingers up and down her arm.

Mary Ann asked, “Will I ever meet your mommy and daddy, papa?”

Gabriel sighed, “I… don’t know. My family isn’t as accepting of two men together as your dad’s family. They are more like your grandpa John only worse. They… hated me because I liked boys instead of girls. I haven’t spoken to them in…many years.”  
Mary Ann asked, “Why it matter you like boys?”

Gabriel replied, “Because I’m a boy. What is taught as the normal way of life is a boy and a girl get together, marry, have a child, etc. A lot of people won’t accept two boys or two girls being together. They consider anything that is not a boy and a girl sick. Unfortunately you having two daddies…. Will not be accepted by everyone.”

Mary Ann replied, “That’s stupid. You love each other. I love you and don’t care you are both boys.”

Gabriel replied, “I know. If everyone was raised to accept a family no matter what it’s made of there would be less hatred and violence in the world.” He looked up as Sam came out of the bathroom in shorts and a t-shirt. He got up and they sat at the small table to eat their dinner. He was stuffed by the end of it and rubbed his bloated belly in contentment. He felt a kiss on his forehead and looked up at Sam. 

Sam said, “Why don’t you go relax and watch some TV? I’ll clean up everything.” He watched Gabe stretch which caused the older man to stick his round belly out and smiled. After stretching the older man moved over to the bed scratching his belly as he got comfortable on the bed. The minute Gabe was comfortable on the bed with Annie curled up on his lover’s soft belly.

Gabriel started to laugh as Annie started tickling his belly and gasped, “Ok OK I’ll read you a story. Just stop tickling me.” He reached next to the bed and grabbed his glasses. He put them on and took the book Annie gave him and started reading. He had been reading to her almost every night since she came to live with them. He wasn’t sure why she only wanted him to read to her but he was flattered.

Mary Ann curled up with her head on papa’s belly and her hand playing with his tank top as he read Robin Hood. She loved it when he read to her because he tried to act out the characters with his voice and he was so animated in his delivery. She also loved his raspy yet slightly higher voice. She also found it adorable when he squeaked when he was excited or angry. Papa’s voice is quieter and higher than daddy’s… More like a mama’s voice is and he treated her like he was her mama. It made her feel loved and safe. Daddy just was not like papa even though she knows he loves her and is safe. 

After Annie fell asleep Gabriel slid out of the bed and stood looking out the window. He was still confused as to why Annie was so attached to him. He felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him and leaned back against his lover. 

Sam kissed the back of Gabriel’s head and said, “Annie adores you. I think she may even love you more than me.”

Gabriel stammered, “I’m sorry. I never intended to…”

Sam rubbed the older man’s belly and replied, “Shhh. It’s all right. You are treating her like you are her mom and she needs a mom. You are nurturing, affectionate, read to her, spoil her, and do whatever she needs you too. I’m not like you… I’m not good at being so openly affectionate. You have a gift when it comes to children. You can be a mom without being a woman and I’m glad. Annie was missing what you have given her by becoming her papa. I’m grateful I found you and that you wanted children.”

Gabriel sighed, “I never intended to get so attached to her, Sammy. I guess I am a girl.. I sure as hell act like one. I get emotionally attached to fast, throw temper tantrums when I’m angry. I’m a fucking drama queen.”

Sam gently sucked on the older man’s neck and replied, “Maybe… But you are MY drama queen. I wouldn’t want you any other way. I love you just the way you are, Gabriel Novak. Don’t you ever forget that. Now we should go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”

Gabriel turned around and met Sam’s lips in a kiss. When they pulled apart he replied, “You go ahead. I’m not really tired right now.”

Sam sighed, “You’re lying, Gabe. What’s wrong? You forget I can read you pretty well.”

Gabriel sighed, “I’m just restless. I forgot my sleeping pills and rather than keep you awake by tossing and turning all night I just…”

Sam sighed, “Thought you’d sit up all night? No, Gabe. I’m not letting you do that. I don’t care if you do keep me awake all night. I’d make love to you but…”

Gabriel chuckled, “No. I wouldn’t want to traumatize Annie by seeing my fat naked ass getting impaled on your huge hard dick. She’s not quite ready for the birds and the bees talk yet. It’s bad enough if she caught one of us naked coming out of the shower.”  
Sam lightly slapped Gabe’s soft ass and chuckled, “Glad you understand.”

Gabriel asked, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Sam teased, “Well you are the horny one. You are like a nymphomaniac.”

Gabriel hung his head and whispered, “Sorry. I won’t ask anymore.”

Sam groaned, “That’s not what I mean.”

Gabriel pulled away from Sam and sighed, “I guess I’ve been making up for being sex starved after Kali. Before you… All I knew was PAIN regarding sex. Now that I have seen it can be… wonderful… I crave it like… a drug. It’s almost as bad as my addiction to sugar. I’m sorry, Sammy. I’m a selfish bastard…”

Sam sighed, “Stop.. I’m trying to tease you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m perfectly happy when you seduce me. I’d rather you ask.. You are older and I don’t want to ask at the wrong time and you feel like you have to give me sex to keep me happy.. Ahah. You KNOW that’s how your mind works. You are doing it right now. Feeling guilty because I was teasing you. I don’t want you to stop asking for sex. I LOVE it when you chase me. I was just trying to be funny.”

Gabriel asked, “You’re not trying to make me feel better? You really WANT me to…”

Sam sighed, “Yeah. I really do want you to constantly ask me for sex. Honestly… If I could I’d be buried inside of you 24/7. I LOVE you and the feel of being inside of you. I’ve gotten so used to being inside of you 2 times a night that the last week it’s been like torture not being able to bury myself inside of you.”

Gabriel whispered, “I feel so empty without you inside of me, Sammy. I still find it hard to believe that you are attracted to a fat assed old man like me.”

Sam wrapped his arms around his lover and said, “You’re not that old, Gabe.”

Gabriel laughed bitterly, “Fuck. You’re 25. You never asked me how old I am. I’m forty years old. Granted Cassie told you. Yeah that means I’m 15 years older than you. I’m 40 fucking years old and haven’t got my shit together. I’m a mess. I don’t understand how you can love a loser like me, Sammy.”

Sam growled, “Stop that. This is your depression talking. You are NOT a loser. You are a wonderful man. So what if you are 15 years older than me? I DON’T care. I never did. That’s why I never asked how old you are. I love YOU no matter what. As for being a mess.. You’re right. You are a mess with some things but not in everything. You have a life, a family, a steady job, and a home. Ok so it happened now instead of when you were young. Big deal. You have most of your shit together now.”

Gabriel whimpered, “I’m sorry. Don’t leave me please.” He let Sam lead him to the bed they share and curled up into Sam’s side and sobbed into his lover’s tee shirt. He had break downs like this from time to time and it horrified him that Sam saw him like this but it was part of loving someone as fucked up as him.

Sam kissed the top of Gabe’s head and ran his one hand up and down his lover’s back while he rubbed the other hand on the older man’s belly in soothing circles. He soothed, “It’s all right. Let it out. I’m not going anywhere.” He had gotten used to these breakdowns. Gabe would get them once or twice a month and he made sure he didn’t leave the older man. He also made sure the smaller man knew how much he loved him. Cas had warned him that at these times Gabe was a danger only to himself and likely to try and commit suicide if left alone. He had wondered why Cas used to stay out all night a couple times a month but never questioned it until he moved in with Gabe. The older man used to try and hide that he was having a breakdown but now he begs him to stay with him. He felt when the smaller man sobbed himself to sleep and decided to try and rest himself.


	24. The Adoption

Gabriel was just getting in the door from work when Sam announced that the date for Gabriel to adopt Mary Ann had been set. He said, “Christ, Sammy. How am I supposed to manage to get the day off on that short of notice? I mean this Friday? Today is Wednesday!”

Mary Ann grabbed his work pants and stammered, “You still want me, don you, papa?”

Gabriel groaned, “Yes, pumpkin. It’s not that. It’s just hard to get a day off of work on short notice. I just don’t think I can do it.”

Sam replied, “It’s at 3 in the afternoon. Maybe you can get off early?”

Gabriel sighed, “I’ll try. Can’t promise though. My boss is a real bag of dicks.” On Friday he wound up working up to the last minute and late to the adoption hearing.

Sam was waiting with Mary Ann and said, “I’m sure Gabe will b here shortly. He is probably just running late because of work. He couldn’t get the day off to be here so he was going to try and get out early.”

Judge Scott replied, “It’s already 3:15. If he’s not here in 15 minutes I’m afraid you’ll need to reschedule this adoption and make sure he shows up. There is no third chances with me.”

Sam replied, “I understand…” He heard the doors slam open and looked back to see Gabe in his work uniform..Dirty tho it may be.

Gabriel ran in the doors after he found out the court room Sam was in and gasped, “Sorry.. I’m ….late. Boss… wouldn’t…..let me….go. I…apologize…. for how….I look…..Long….bad day…..No time….to change.”

Judge Scott replied, “You look like you have been pelted with food..”

Gabriel coughed and replied, “Yeah…. College students…not to…..fond of me. Sorry.”

Mary Ann ran over and wrapped her arms around his waist and yelled, “Papa!”

Gabriel replied, “Hey, pumpkin. I’m all sticky and dirty.”

Mary Ann replied, “Don care.”

Judge Scott sighed, “All right. You are Gabriel Novak and you are petitioning to adopt Mary Ann Winchester as her second parent?”

Gabriel replied, “Yes Ma’am. Sammy and Annie have been living with me for a few months now and Sam is my lover. He wanted to make sure she would stay with me if anything happened to him because she is so attached to me.”

Judge Scott asked, “Do you want to have that responsibility? Are you capable of supporting the child should you be her only parent?”

Gabriel replied, “Yeah. I’m currently supporting both of them while Sam is in college. I have a nice clean apartment and Annie has her own room.”

Judge Scott looked at Mary Ann and asked, “Do you want this man to adopt you, Annie?”

Mary Ann proudly replied, “Yes. More than anything.”

Judge Scott asked, “Why?”

Mary Ann replied, “I love him. I want papa to marry daddy. That way we always be together.”

Judge Scott looked at Sam and asked, “Do you agree with Mr. Novak adopting your daughter Mr. Winchester?”

Sam replied, “Yes. I was the one that made the suggestion for both their sakes. Gabriel may not admit it out loud but he adores Annie more than anything. As for Annie she is very distraught when Gabe isn’t around. She would want to be with him if I wasn’t here and I want to make sure he doesn’t have to jump through hoops to keep her with him.”

Judge Scott replied, “Well. Other than your…surprising attire for a day in court, Mr. Novak.. You seem honest in your desire to become a permanent fixture in this child’s life. It does make sense for you to adopt the child if you are in a committed relationship with Mr. Winchester and intend to be for a long time. The only things that concern me are your age and health. You are overweight and not in perfect health from what I understand..granted that doesn’t mean you can’t be a wonderful parent. It also isn’t a deciding factor as a general rule because you are still young enough to have the right to adopt but you are not young like most individuals that wish to adopt. It is only a concern for me to do with the well being of the child if her father should not be here and you are her sole parent in the future and be unable to care for her.”

Gabriel replied, “I have always been fat and that will never change and my health while not perfect isn’t really bed. Physically I only have one problem which I am able to control as long as I don’t push myself to hard. Most of my problems are….mental. As long as I have Annie in my life I am content and will do everything I can to provide all the love and support she could possibly need. She is… my lifeline. My reason for living and fighting my mental issues. She keeps me sane and sober. Sammy is an important part of my life but having a child I never dreamed I ever would has changed my whole outlook on life. I have a child that…loves and adores me. I don’t understand why she feels like that but I’ll be god damned if I’m going to lose her without fighting to keep her.”

Judge Scott replied, “All right. The child seems very happy with the way things are and her father agrees with the adoption. I will approve the adoption. Please fill out these forms and come back here next Friday and I will finalize it and make it formal.”

Gabriel called in sick the next Friday to make sure they all went together to the adoption. He let Sam fill everything out because he was the lawyer. He wore his gray suit from when he met Jess’ parents so he was more presentable this time.

Judge Scott said, “Well, Mr. Novak. You clean up well. Now is there going to be a name change for the child?”

Sam replied, “Yes. Annie wishes to be Mary Ann Winchester-Novak. She wishes to carry both of our names because she will be both our daughter.”

Judge Scott replied, “Very well. Mary Ann Winchester-Novak is fine. Do you sish to change the godparent?”

Sam replied, “Yes. I would like to Keep Dean Winchester as Godfather but Also add Castiel Novak. They are our brothers and are a couple as well. If something changes then we will update accordingly. Right now it seems good to have both so if both of us are gone then there are two godparents for her.”

After the formalities were finished and all the paperwork was signed Gabriel was still in shock that Annie wanted to carry his name. 

Judge Scott finally said, “Gabriel Novak, Congratulations. You are a father. Mary Ann Winchester-Novak is now your daughter by law.”

Gabriel stammered, “Thank you. I’m a father. Oh my God! I’m really a father.” He picked up Annie and hugged her. He knew it wasn’t the same as having your first baby but to him it was just as exciting. He was happy as hell and you could tell by the giddy way he was acting. His little girl couldn’t be taken away from him just because he wasn’t legally or biologically her father anymore. He took his family out to dinner to celebrate and then home. 

Sam was very glad Gabe was so happy about being Annie’s legal father now. After they got home they put Annie to bed and then made slow passionate love. He smiled when in the after glow Gbe kept saying Annie was his daughter. 

Gabriel said, “I can’t believe it. Annie is my little girl… My daughter…. Legally she’s mine.”

Sam kissed the back of Gabe’s head where he was spooned up behind his smaller lover and replied, “Yeah. She is. She is as much your daughter as she is mine now.”

Gabriel replied, “Legally yeah. Genetically you still can over ride me but I won’t have to fight the system to keep her now. I’m grateful for that, Sammy. I suck at fighting for shit. I usually run the fuck away from conflict.”

Sam replied, “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on ever fighting you for her. I know better than to get in between her and her papa.”

Gabriel snorted, “Hahaha.”

Sam laughed, “No really. If we ever split it’s not even worth it to fight you for her. You belong to her and she belongs to you. She is very possessive of you ever since she met you.”

Gabriel replied, “I don’t understand why but I am content. I am happy to have her as my little girl. I’m also very glad you chose me for your mate.” He purred as he felt Sam gently scratching his rounded belly. 

Sam loved Gabe’s purr when he rubbed his lover’s soft mound of a belly. He also loved how the older man leans back against him at an angle causing his belly to stick out more giving him easier access to rub it. He chuckled, “You are such a sucker for a belly rub.”

Gabriel replied, “Mmmhmm. Belly rubs and your huge dick up my ass are heaven… Both at the same time would be Nirvana.”

Sam chuckled, “Oh? Are you ready for another round?” He gently bucked his half hard erection against the older man’s cleft.

Gabriel replied, “Hellz yeah. Can we do it in this position?”

Sam replied, “We can try if you want. I’d love to be locked inside of you while I spoon you.” He coaxed Gabriel to move and cock his leg so he could add a bit more lube to his lover’s entrance before sliding home. He had the older man move back and throw a leg over his while leaning against him. He sighed when they found the perfect angle for him to get all the way in and started a rhythm causing his balls to slap against his lover’s cheeks as he bucked.

Gabriel moaned, “That’s it, Sammy… Oh god.. Right there. Ahhh.” He felt Sam’s angle hit his prostate every time he sunk all the way inside and it turned him to a withering pile of jelly. He felt Sam scratching and squeezing his belly while he was being pounded hard into. He came with a groan without Sam even touching his aching dick. A few sharp, hard thrusts later he felt his lover empty deep inside of him before starting to lightly rub, squeeze and scratch his soft belly again. He purred again and refused to let Sam pull out. This is just what he wanted… His lover’s big dick deep inside of him while the younger man paid attention to his belly.

Sam asked, “This what you wanted, Shortstack? My dick impaling you and my hands all over that beautiful round belly of yours?”

Gabriel murmured, “Hellz yeah. I’m a fat cat that got the cream right now. God you feel good inside of me and your hands are wonderful. Thank you for everything tonight, Sammy.”

Sam replied, ”You’re welcome, Gabe. I love you. Now get some sleep. We have all day tomorrow to do whatever you would like to do.” He kissed his older lover’s temple and after a while felt Gabe’s breathing pattern slow as he fell asleep. He was glad the next day was a Saturday so the older man could rest after all the excitement. He didn’t pull out of the smaller man before falling asleep himself. He knew in time he’s slide out as they slept. He finally nodded off himself holding Gabe safe and lovingly in his arms.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Rocky First Start Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15824811) by [megibabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/megibabe/pseuds/megibabe)




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